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How to let go of Frustration

How to let go of frustration

How to let go of Frustration.

Hello I hope you are well…or did you land here because you are frustrated? Look at my picture that´s how I feel! Steaming of anger and frustration. Today, I’m writing this post because I am totally frustrated 🙂

The funny thing is that I was not planning to write a post about frustration… but let me tell you first what happened. This will prove that the energy of frustration can be turned into something creative.

This morning I went to a coffeeshop to write. First I ordered a lovely cappuccino, sat down, opened my E-Mail and downloaded a document. All was well, until… I cannot open the document, play around for 15 minutes and still can´t do it. So what happens:

  • Frustrations sets in.
  • Body gets tense,
  • Mind gets tense, telling me all kinds of not very kind things.

For example: why did my friend sent me this document in a format that I can´t open with my adobe reader. This cannot be happening, I just want to write, be creative and finish a blogpost. All I´m doing is trying to read this freaking file. Scene: Tension is building, anger is creeping up, can you relate?

Now my mindfulness sets in  quietly reasoning : Marita please calm down, it´s just another challenge, take a deep breath and let it go. You can just let go of trying to open the document right now and start writing your post.

Ah, idea is popping up! I will write a blogpost about frustration. Exactly describing my feelings and how I can transform them, that´s fun. Good plan…feeling much better already. My tense face, is turning into a smile, my shallow breathing is turning into a deep belly breath and life is peaceful and fun again.

What exactly did I do to let go of the frustration? 

  • I was conscious or mindful about what was going on in my mind and body.
  • I thought about one practical thing to that would solve the problem. 
  • I started to talk to myself in a kind way and calm myself down.
  • I focused on my breathing and deepened it.

The practical thing I did was: I sent an e mail to my friend and asked her to paste the text into a new e mail. Problem solved. Frustration is such a powerful feeling, it comes up a lot and it can spoil the mood and wreck the day. Not only for you but also for everybody who comes in contact with you. Normally if the feeling gets suppressed, it will try to find a way to explode.

For example the next person you talk to might say one thing that upsets you and wow an explosion of unkind words might be unloaded on that person. The result is that you get to feel bad about yourself. All this can be avoided by being conscious about what´s going on inside of you.

What I learned from Human Design in regards to frustration.

 I´ve been studying Human Design for a few years.  As a generator, which is one of the 4 energy types in Human Design, I learned that I get frustrated whenever I do not respond correctly to a prompt from the outside, my intuition or gut feeling.

So now whenever I get frustrated, I know that I need to take a deep breath, go for a walk, or meditate. Do something that brings me back to myself. It´s a very simple practice that has changed my life. What are your thoughts about frustration?

Dem Verstand Urlaub Geben

 

dem Verstand Urlaub geben

Dem Verstand Urlaub Geben

Wie soll das denn bitte gehen?! Der Verstand ist ein wunderbares Werkzeug, um Fakten zu sortieren, Pläne zu erstellen, zu vergleichen und so weiter. Er ist aber nicht geeignet, stimmige Lebensentscheidungen zu treffen, da er nur aus dem schöpfen kann, was schon im Programm unseres Computers, unserer Erfahrung, gespeichert ist. Wenn wir etwas Neues machen wollen, ist es noch nicht gespeichert. Dann läuten im Verstand direkt die Alarmglocken.

Diesen Alarm fĂĽhlst du dann als Angst oder Vorsicht. Meistens wird dann die schöne Idee vom Traumleben wieder in die Schublade „vielleicht irgendwann einmal“ einsortiert und vergessen”. Es ist ein spiritueller, metaphysischer Prozess, der von unserem Verstand nicht verstanden wird. Der Intellekt sagt einfach: „So ein Quatsch, das geht nicht, Zeitverschwendung, mach lieber was VernĂĽnftiges, putz die KĂĽche, geh einkaufen!“ oder: „Nichts wie auf die Couch und fernsehen!“

Kennst du diese Stimme? Also einfach loslegen, nicht nachdenken, einfach reinfühlen. Du musst nur anfangen und der Rest wird sich ergeben … glaub einfach dran. Vertraue dem Universum. Den Verstand kann man austricksen indem man spielerisch ist und einfach experimentiert. Es ist nicht nötig zu überlegen wie sich Neues im Leben manifestiert.

Alles wird sich wie ein Puzzle entwickeln, du musst es nicht wissen. Zum Beispiel: Wenn du eine bestimmte Karriere verfolgen willst, wirst du vielleicht jemanden treffen, der dir weiterhelfen kann oder der jemanden kennt, der dir weiterhelfen kann. Diesen Vorgang nennt man auch Synchronizität. Du wirst den Weg nicht im Vorhinein kennen, aber er wird sich dir zeigen, Schritt für Schritt … aber man braucht Vertrauen.

Also übe dich im Vertrauen, das wird alles ändern, ich verspreche es dir.

Hier ein paar Tips:

  • Ich gestalte Bilder mit Wörtern die mir helfen immer daran zu denken was wichtig ist. Ich nenne diese Kreationen auch Power Mantras. Diese Power Mantras hängen an vielen Plätzen meiner Wohnung und erinnern mich an das Wichtige im Leben. Es ist auch so etwas wie die Kurzversion eines Visionboards.
  • Was du dazu brauchst: ein Bildbearbeitungsprogram und Photos, deine Eigenen oder du kannst sie von einer webseite runterladen, wie zum Beispiel: Fotolia oder Pixabay, oder hier auch einige Deutsche Anbieter. Photoshop ist natĂĽrlich auch super. Unten ein Beispiel

 

Vertrauen

 

  • Eine Erinnerung auf deinem Phone einstellen
  • Du kannst natĂĽrlich auch eine app runterladen und diese Power Mantras auf deinem Smartphone kreieren

Experimentiere einfach, erlaube dir kreativ zu sein…Hast du Ideen wie man sonst noch Vertrauen ĂĽben kann? Bitte teile deine Ideen mit uns.

Hier ist noch ein kleines Geschenk fĂĽr dich!!! Mein Buch ĂĽber Visionboards: Die Kraft eines Visionboards – Spielerisch Träume und Ziele verwirklichen, ist endlich auch in Deutsch erhältlich. Einfach den Link  oder das Buch klicken, dann deinen Namen und deine E-Mail eintragen. Danach wird dir der Link zum Buch zugeschickt, den kannst du dann einfach runterladen. Viel Spass und happy manifesting 🙂

 

How to Improve your Personal Environment

How to Improve your Personal Environment

 

How to Improve your Personal Environment

Hello again, I hope you are well and enjoying your life. Right now nature is exploding with delicate green buds, days are getting longer, the sun is warming up the ground, birds are chirping away. What a wonderful time of the year.

Spring is always a great time for a nice cleaning, not just the cleaning of your home but also looking at your relationships, bodies, mind and spirit. In this blogpost we look at your physical environment. The next blogpost will be about your body and appearance.

 It´s a great opportunity to evaluate what works and what does not work in your immediate environment, the result will be increased life energy for the things you want to do and to help you create the life you love

 

Your physical environment

Let´s look at your home and workspace:

Are you happy with the way your home and office looks and feels?

No matter what the answer is, just start with a nice cleaning, use a good environmentally safe cleaner, with essential oils to make it more pleasant. Open the windows to let in fresh air, put on your favourite music and let´s start. While you do this, look at everything and ask yourself the following questions.

  •          Is there any clutter that makes you feel bad, but you ignore it?
  •          Are there repairs that you just do not get around to?
  •          Is anything missing?
  •          Anything that can be let go of?

Yeah, it´s amazing how much stuff gets accumulated but, do you need it all? Probably not. What I really love is the Feng Shui principle that when empty space gets created, the void will attract something new into your life. What a wonderful concept that always helps me to let go of stuff.

Broken things and  messes drain your energy. Yes it´s true… you just have to be aware and mindful of how you feel and what gives energy and what takes energy. Practicing mindfulness or being aware of everything inside and outside yourself is a huge part of living a happy, fulfilled life.

Try a little experiment and see how it makes you feel, give it your total awareness. Clean up something, fix something or get rid of something and feel the energy in your body.

  •          How does it feel?
  •          What changed?
  •          Do you have more energy?

One more practical tip: I always have 2 bags and one box around, one bag for stuff to give away, one bag for garbage and a box for stuff that I do not really need but still want to hang on to. I list the items on the box and put a date on. If I have not needed it after a year I go through again and might want to let it go. This is an ongoing process and it´s real fun.

Here are two example from my life

I broke the glass container of my blender about 6 months ago. Somehow it really bothered me that I had to buy a new one. Sure I tried to go to some local shops to buy it but it was not available. One salesperson gave me the website to order the part…that was about 4 months ago.

Despite the many occasions where I needed a blender and feeling bad about not doing it, I still have not gotten around to it. Last week I started a detox and really needed one, so I finally ordered it online. I cannot tell you how good that felt, not to have to think about the blender anymore, it freed up energy for other things. 

Another little example for fixing something: When my internet was installed the cable guy needed to install a new jack, but they were only allowed to connect the cables coming out of the wall, so the jack was just hanging there.

I had to get my handyman to install it, which took me about 7 months and I finally did it this months. The joy I felt after it was done was exhilarating. Now I can walk by this part of the room and feel good. Before there was always the nagging thought: Marita this looks sloppy, get it fixed, why don´t you do it? 

The feeling after something is done is fabulous and I never understand why it took me so long. Does this happen to you? Let me know if this was helpful? Do you have a good tip you would like to share? Please leave a comment.

Ps: Some ideas in this post are inspired by the world power method of my wonderful school Coachville New York

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

Hi my friend how are you? Finally the days are getting longer, sunrays are warming up the air,  trees are budding, birds are chirping and colourful flowers are popping up everywhere. Hooray it`s spring…. a new beginning.

I just spent some time in California, my old place of residency. When I arrived back in Germany I was greeted with rain and very cold weather. It felt like being thrown from heaven into a dark cold place…. no I will not call it hell, my German friends would not like it 🙂

Maybe the fowl weather propelled me into a deep trance of self-doubt and melancholy, but I sure tumbled into it. Something happened…. my intuition lead me to a book by Richard Rudd called the Gene Keys. After being a student of human design for a few years, I wanted to dive deeper into the material and look at it from a different point of view. I found this chapter about self-doubt fascinating and would like to share a few aspects.

I am not writing this to talk about human design or the Gene Keys and will not get into it deeper. It just helped me transform my attack of self-doubt, which sometimes totally takes me out of the game for a while. I´m sure you can relate and if you struggle with self-doubt this information might be very helpful.

Self-Doubt is born when you cannot relate with the wonder of your imagination and intuition and your focus is on logic and heavy thinking. Doubt can be very helpful in some aspects, like science or research but if you try to apply it to your life it really does not work so well. It causes a huge amount of pressure and does not go away until you do something about it.

It´s a deep feeling of being unsettled, something that cannot be solved and all we want to do is get rid of the pressure. When this pressure arises it´s accompanied by anxiety which will lead us to come up with some strategies that will make us feel better, or so we think.

We might go shopping, find someone to have sex with, drink too much alcohol, take drugs, watch TV, scream at someone…. anything that will release the anxiety and help us forget about the pressure. This strategy works for a while but eventually it will stop working…. Yeah I know I tried most of them.

Self-doubt is the name we give this physical sensation of mental pressure.

What would be a healthier way to release the pressure?

The first action would be to not take it personal….Not easy to do but you can practice it. If you can use self-doubt to question something, then it´s a creative action. If you take it personal it will turn into self-defeating, painful and paralyzing anxiety.

Talking about your self-doubt with a trusted friend to take it out of your head will help. Allow it to be there instead of resisting. The good thing is, that it always turns around and some answer or solution will show up.

Patience and Trust are required.  Yes it´s no fun, but just looking at it from a different point of view will make it easier to bear. The worst you can do is to get into harmful action, which will not solve anything but make it worse. The key is not to act, not to suppress, but allow it to be there. Self-doubt is part of the logical mind and good for something, like scientific research and evaluating, but not a good tool to answer your own life questions.

The mind wants to ask questions, so try to experiment with curious, playful questions:

  • I wonder what will happen if?
  • What is this feeling trying to tell me?
  • I wonder where I will find the answer to this?
  • I wonder how this will work?

 

Next time when you get an attack of self-doubt try it and see how it goes. I use this practice all the time and it really helps. You just need a good dose of mindfulness to be aware of your mind-games. There is no certainty and if you can be with not knowing the answers your life will blossom and catapult you into the zone of wonders and flowing with life.

                                   

Happy practicing and if you want to share some tips about self-doubt please share your comment with us.

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-doubt

Hi my friend how are you? Finally the days are getting longer, the sun is warmer, the trees are budding and colorful flowers are popping up everywhere. Hooray it`s spring, it´s a new beginning.

I just spent some time in California my old home. When I arrived in Germany I was greeted with rain and very cold weather. It felt like being thrown from heaven into a dark cold place…. no I will not call it hell, my German friends would not like it J

Maybe the fowl weather propelled me into a deep trance of self-doubt and melancholy. Something happened…. my intuition lead me to a book by Richard Rudd called the Gene Keys. After being a student of human design for a few years I wanted to dive deeper into the material and look at it from a different point of view. I found this chapter about self-doubt fascinating and would like to share a few aspects.

I am not writing this to talk about human design or the Gene Keys and will not get into it deeper. It just was very helpful with my attack of self-doubt, which sometimes totally takes me out of the game for a while. I´m sure you can relate and if you struggle with self-doubt this information might be very helpful.

Self-Doubt is born when you cannot relate with the wonder of your imagination and intuition and your focus is on logic and heavy thinking. Doubt can be very helpful in some aspects, like science or research but if you try to apply it to your life it really does not work so well. It causes a huge amount of pressure and does not go away until you do something about it.

It´s a deep feeling of being unsettled, something that cannot be solved and all we want to do is get rid of the pressure. When this pressure arises it´s accompanied by anxiety which will lead us to come up with some strategies that will make us feel better, or so we think J

We might go shopping, find someone to have sex with, drink some alcohol, take some drugs, watch some TV, scream at someone…. anything that will release the anxiety and helps us forget about the pressure. This strategy works for a while but eventually it will stop. Yeah I know I tried most of them..

Self-doubt is the name we give this physical sensation of mental pressure.

What would be a healthier way to release the pressure?

The first action would be to not take it personal….Not easy to do but you can practice it. If you can use the self-doubt to neutrally question something, it´s a creative action. If you take it personal and it turns into anxiety it becomes self-defeating, painful and paralyzing.

Talk about your self-doubt with a trusted friend and take it out of your head into the open that helps too. Allow it to be there instead of resisting it you will be able to be with it. The good thing is, that it always turns around and some answer or solution will show up.

Patience and Trust are required.  Yes it´s no fun, but just looking at it from a different view point will make it easier to bear. The worst you can do is get into harmful action, which will not solve anything but make it worse. The key is not to act, not to suppress, but allow it to be there. Self-doubt is part of the logical mind and good for something, like scientific research and questioning, but not so good to answer your own life questions.

It wants to ask questions, try to ask curious, playful questions like:

  • I wonder what will happen if
  • I wonder what this feeling is good for,
  • I wonder where I will find the answer to this
  • I wonder if this will work

 

Next time when you get attacked by self-doubt, try this strategy and see how it goes. I use this practice all the time and it really helps. You just need a good dose of mindfulness to be aware of what’s going on in your mind. There is no certainty and if you can be with not knowing the answers, your life will blossom and catapult you into the zone of wonders..

                                   

Happy practicing and if you want to share some tips about self-doubt please share your comment with us.

 

 

How to Grow Up When Over 50

how to grow up when over 50

How to grow up when over 50

Hello my friends, it took me a long time to write this post as I spent some time traveling. But here it is…. you might wonder about this strange title….

Normally people at 50 and over should be grown up… But guess what… there are many occasions when that is not the case, actually I would say that most “normal people “are emotionally immature, which is another way to say not grown up.

I know because it´s part of my story… So… why is that? I constantly meet new people in 12 step programs, personal development seminars, meditation courses and other events and places where people might go when they are not happy with themselves and or others.

Naturally there are many middle aged and older human beings over 50,  who think of themselves as the eternal victims, children that have been harmed and adults that have been wronged. Yes, yes and mostly that is the truth…. but the problem is that if you always thinking of yourself as a victim, you are not willing to take responsibility for your own life and that is painful.

Through my own experience of feeling like a victim and you guessed right: I was around 50. That´s when I was ready to learn that I can only grow up and be content and fulfilled when I am willing to take responsibility for my life and stop complaining and blaming….ouch.

Blaming others for my misery and unhappyness, instead of leaving a situation that was not healthy for me, taking my life into my own hands and just moving on to pursue the things I was interested in.

Finally it happened and guess what, I was 50 and it was very hard. There might have been a softer way to do it, but the way I did it was very painful.

So painful that my therapist at the time begged me to go on antidepressants, because he was afraid I would harm myself…. Well for whatever reason, I needed to go through this pain and  eventually got out of the dark into the light.

I totally changed my life, took up a new career that I loved, changed my environment. After a while I let go of toxic people whenever I could and limited contact with negative people as much as possible.

I still chose to have contact with some… like close family members, but in a detached way, accepting them the way they are and not expecting them to change.

It´s a process of letting go, accepting, learning and it feels good that way. I felt like the victim most of my life, but eventually when I understood that it´s not good for me.

The way I saw the world was different and oh my god it changed my life. Whenever I don´t like what others say or do, I always ask myself why it upsets me and normally I do the same thing myself.

So if you read this article and you feel like a victim, maybe try and accept things for what they are and find out what steps you can take to do things that are good for you. Look at your environment…

  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • Who is making you feel good?
  • Who is making you feel bad?
  • What´s a mess in your life?
  • What are you constantly complaining about?
  • What can you change?

The answers to all these questions will give you clues about your life. First you start with accepting the fact that it is whatever it is. Which does not mean you give up, it means that you accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. In order to do this you have to get quiet enough that you can actually tell the difference try a simple meditation practice that will help you.

The next step is to find simple solutions to start eliminating the energy drains and messes from your life. Sometimes it´s hard to do this, it hurts people when you don´t want to spend time with them, but it will be worth it. If people drain your energy, limit exposure. Life is always changing and nothing will ever be the same.

Human beings have a hard time to accept this and want the opposite, to stay in their comfort zone and keep everything the same, but it´s actually outside of your comfort zone where a fulfilling life begins.

I would like to invite you to try it, move out of your comfort-zone into a new adventure, be willing to experiment, be grateful for whatever reasons you can find to be grateful for, it´s a simple practice that can change your energy in a second.

Oh and one more thing…observe your thinking and whenever you catch yourself thinking in a negative or mean way, just drop it and replace it with something that feels good.

Are you willing to try? I love to read your comments, please let me know your thoughts and how YOU take responsibility for your life, how do YOU change your energy?

Simple Strategy to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

I hope you are in good spirits and excited about 2016. I sure am because… good things are coming. But now I have a thought or two about the famous New Year Resolutions.

Here we are again…it´s a few weeks into the New Year, the gym is packed, my favorite class is overcrowded… what happened? This phenomena happens every year, people create resolutions just to drop them 4 weeks later? It must be some kind of insanity as Albert Einstein stated in his quote 🙂

Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I don´t do this… but I´m aware of it. I think it´s kind of a herd thing….As soon as the end or the beginning of the year comes around and everybody creates New Year resolutions… I have to do it too.

Yeah it feels good….we have the best intentions until we decide otherwise and they are put on ice again until next year and then the same game starts again. Can you relate?

So what’s the problem?

New Year Resolutions normally reflect short-term thinking, or a quick fix, instead of having a long term plan, that’s why only a small percentage of those who make resolutions achieve their desired goals….Now that’s not a good success rate.

So is there a reason people don’t stick to their resolutions? Professionals’ answers are mixed. Some believe that many don´t have a strategy or someone to keep them accountable and support them to achieve these “goals“. But there is a way to empower yourself and stick to your new years resolutions.

Below are some strategies that will help you keep your resolutions Steven Covey, the author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People “ once said, “Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking.” This is how I feel about resolutions: As the CEO of a strategic marketing firm, my New Year’s Resolution is not to have one. As an individual, could I say that I plan to improve myself in 2016? I certainly strive for that on an on-going basis, but not that the start of each year. That too is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be clear with your goals:

If you want to be healthier what does that mean for you? Exercise, eat healthier foods? Meditate, work less? Let’s just ake the example of healthier foods.

  • What’s on the list of foods that’s not good for you?
  • Are you willing to find a healthier replacement?
  • Are you willing to change some habits?

The key is to make it work for YOU…when you make a shopping list please…. write down things that you like to eat, don’t write down spinach and whole grain noodles if you hate them. Make it a habit to write a grocery list, with healthy foods, that you like. If you have only chips, soft drinks and junk food at home it’s impossible to eat healthier.

Would you like to move more? Think about exercise that you would like to do, there must be something. Sometimes it’s easier to go for walks, go on a bike ride be in nature, or take fun classes, than to work on machines. Although I like the machines because I listen to interesting audios at the some time.

Keep track

  • What did you eat today?
  • What kind of exercise did you do?
  • What did you do that is good for you?

Try to do 3 things every day towards your goal, even small things. Write down how you exercised, or what you ate….. if we keep track of something it’s easier to manage. Just simply tracking how much you are….or aren’t…doing, will push you in the right direction. If you didn’t do well…please just forgive yourself and try again….make it an experiment, there is no fail there is only: I try again!!!

Be accountable to someone

This will motivate and inspire you, just tell someone you trust about your endeavour, work out with a trainer, take a class, do something with a friend or get a coach. Start a little accountability group where everybody can work on their own resolution, but you still watch out for each other’s goals. All this takes you out of your “alone zone” and it will be more motivating if you are not left to your own devices.

If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow. Voltaire.

Do it one step at a time and forgive yourself if you think you didn’t do it right. Try again and again and again and again until eventually you will establish a new habit. New habits get easier, because after doing something for a while new neural pathways get established in the brain.

Lots of luck to YOU and I hope this article will help you a little bit, but no matter what…don’t give up. To finish this up, please remember to celebrate your successes whenever you made a little step towards your goal celebrate…Take yourself on a date, get your nails done, buy some chocolate, go to a nice café and have a cup of tea or coffee. Go to the spa, do something nice for you. Will ya 🙂

Talk to you next time 🙂

 

Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How Coaching and Human Design Work Together

Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How are you? I’m so happy that you are here. Today I would like to share something with you that has been a life-changer for me. Oh, before I forget I would like to wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

My studies and training in personal development and coaching have been extensive and just when I thought I can stop learning for a while, my coach introduced me to Human Design.

He used it in our coaching sessions and I was amazed how it helped me move through some issues that held me back. So now you might want to know….

  • What is Human Design and how does it work with coaching?

Chetan Parkyn, a human design expert and author of several books on the subject explains it this way: We each have our own unique design — a blueprint of our individual nature. Yet, few of us live in accordance with our Design, because we don’t know what it is. Instead, we try to mold ourselves to the expectations of other people. (That´s where the problem starts)

So the key benefit to knowing your design is that once you know how your energies flow, what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can better work with them, accept your unique nature and be yourself. Of course it will make it easier to accept other people for who they are, too.

You will have access to some simple strategies on how to make decisions according to your type and how to interact with others. It will help you to know which relationships will be good for you and which will be complicated, then you can decide if you chose to hang out with the difficult ones or not.

It will also be beneficial to accept the fact that life is programmed and that your internal navigation system will guide you through it. Now this is a tough one to swallow for some people but for others it´s a relief. I am a fan of 12 step programs and a practitioner of mindfulness and I found that these 3 practices work together in total harmony.

This is about all I want to say about the system and if you would like to know more about it you will find great information at Human Design for us all and Human Design America. I also would like to let you know that I am not a human design expert nor offer professional readings, I simply use elements that have proven to be beneficial for me and my clients in my coaching.

Some practical examples how it works.

First I print out an interesting chart based on name, place, date and time of birth of a person which gives me a lot of information about certain energies in the human being. Some people do not like this, that`s ok, but for the ones who like self-discovery and want to know the truth of how they operate in the world, this is truly an amazing tool.

Let me give you some examples of how it has benefited me. One of my challenges is fluctuating self-worth, I never thought about it and just knew it was there but did not really know how to work with it.

  • So I learned that it`s not my nature but what I learned while growing up, because most parents and society do not support individuality, they try to mold little people to their standards. So it’s easy for a child to believe that they are not worth anything, they are not lovable, or they always feel that there is something wrong with them. These are called patterns of belief and survival patterns. These are also the internal energies that keep us stuck.
  • The other important insight was that my energy fluctuates and that it`s very important for my wellbeing to be aware of my energy and not force myself to do things when the energy is not there, but fully utilize it when it’s there. I have to be aware of my flow not only for me but for my environment, because when my energy is off I mess up your flow. So I have some responsibility 🙂
  • I have some energies that work as a catalyst for others, meaning that when people are around me or work with me….out of the blue they open up to stuck energies, now this might sound a bit weird, but I notice it more and more.
  • The last one I want to mention is a huge creative energy which has to be shared with the others. Most of my life I was very closed and did not share myself, but since I started my journey of self-discovery I started to open up and the more I open up and share my findings the more fulfilled I feel.
  • Oh, here is one more…I am all over the place that means I am jumping from one idea to the next one excitement to the next, one task to the next and I thought I have to be concentrated and do one thing at a time. Knowing this has opened up new opportunities because I can accept that my energies work like this, but I can also learn how to be effective when I`m all over the place.

This is it for now, I could go on forever, but I just wanted to give you a taste. This information has been life changing and I am forever grateful to my coach and trainer Dave Buck, CEO of Coachville to use Human Design in our coaching sessions.

 

 

Perfectionism Kills Dreams

Perfectionism Kills your Dreams

Perfectionism Kills Dreams

Hello again…I'm so excited to share this post with you….I turned 60 this year and the older I get the less I'm interested in being perfect, the more I want to be playful and experimental. Why?…Because life is a lot more fun 🙂

Lately I've noticed again and again…. that so many people have very little joy in life and noticed that the common denominator is perfectionism:  Focusing on chores, what we need to do, you know the annoying stuff like homework, shopping, cleaning, working, we beat ourselves up when we do something wrong, but rarely do we celebrate when we do something right 🙂

Even as adults…. it's still like this: Do your homework and then you can play. The weird thing is… now you say this to yourself, no teacher or parent required. Have you noticed this? Take a moment and ask yourself this question….are you one of them? do you do this? Just this little “awareness” can change your life.

Change your attitude, change your life.

So… how can you actually change your attitude?

  1. Be aware of your thoughts
  2. Be willing to experiment
  3. Accept that new behavior feels uncomfortable. 

 Be aware of your thoughts

What are you actually thinking? Interesting question isn’t it. For a few minutes several times during the day…. watch your thoughts. Like an outsider, observer, be aware of what you think. Yes it’s simple but then it’s not….. try it and see what happens. Actually… why not write it down….take a journal and write down whatever pops into your mind. Do I hear you say: this is stupid???  maybe but it’s very interesting to know what’s going on in your mind, actually my mind too 🙂

For example it could look like this: I have to do the dishes, I really don’t like what so and so said yesterday, I am tired of doing this, why should I write down my thoughts, oh I forgot to buy toilet paper, this person doesn’t like me, I don’t want to do this, the potato soup was not good, it’s raining again, I don't know what to do…… It’s a mindfulness meditation to be aware of your thoughts.

This simple action step can change your life, if you chose to do it.  Mindfulness Meditation is a great tool to help be more aware of your thoughts and feel yourself…. but it’s a process and won’t happen overnight.

Be willing to experiment.

  • I have to be perfect
  • I have to do this right
  • I will not do this because I have to do it perfectly

Oh man….. perfectionism is a killer, it kills creativity, aliveness, joy, It can make people sick and invites them to give up. Experimenting and being playful is the opposite of perfectionism. What you need is the willingness to play, to make mistakes and yes, you MUST be willing to fail. Kids have this kind of presence and willingness, they always experiment and play until …….they grow up.  

I'm sure you heard the stories of famous people for example: Steven Spielberg was rejected from schools several times, Albert Einstein had a learning disorder, Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything, Henry Ford failed at several businesses. There are many others who failed many times, some over years but they did not give up, they kept experimenting until eventually…. they succeeded.

By changing one simple thing, YOUR ATTITUDE, you can change your life. Try it out, set little experiments for yourself and just play and enjoy whatever you are doing.

  • Don’t try to do it right,
  • Don’t be serious
  • Don’t be attached to the outcome…..just play.

Now be aware of how it feels. Does it feel any different, are you experiencing more joy, is it more fun to do things… even if some things are not exactly fun? Watch yourself, write it down and keep experimenting and noticing. Get to know yourself, be your best friend.

Accept that new behaviour is uncomfortable

This is a tough one, but it's an important part of the new game…..why should I be doing something that is uncomfortable? We are creatures of habit, even if the habits are not good for us. Smoking for example can calm you down, but most people know that it can kill you.

To be a perfectionist feels comfortable… to experiment might not, even if it’s a lot healthier for you. Working too much is a habit and working less will feel very uncomfortable. Putting yourself down feels comfortable, celebrating what you do right might feel uncomfortable. Taking time off and just playing will feel uncomfortable but is actually a good thing…..and on it goes.

When you start doing new things it will feel weird and you have to know that this is normal and not be discouraged by it. This is why people abandon their dreams, it’s that important!!!! Write it on a poster or set a reminder on your phone, tatoo it on your hand, whatever will help you remember, just do it! I am doing new things and I am willing to play. I invite you to play to win 🙂

Leave a comment and let me know how it works for you. do you have any tricks you would like to share?

 

How to Create a Simple Video for your Business

How to Create a Simple Video for your Business

How to Create a Simple Video for your Business

How are YOU? It’s fall in Germany, the leaves are almost off the trees, it’s cold outside, the ground is covered with golden foliage and wet. What a good time to be greatful for having a warm home, a nice cup of tea and a cozy place to sit and work….ah life is good.

I am writing to you from this place of gratitude, with a view of my vision board and I thought you might be interested in ways to be more creative, self expressed and have fun creating more visibility for your business.

As a business coach I mingle with entrepreneurs like YOU, who would like to create more visibility for their business. One fun way is to create videos to post on youtube, but somehow it does not always happen 🙂

Why?

  • Techno-fear,
  • Fear of visibility
  • Fear to make a fool of yourself
  • Fear of not doing it right, also called PERFECTIONISM…..and on it goes 

The common denominator is FEAR….. fear can be overcome… but that’s another blogpost: In this post I will help you to overcome only the techno-fear. So if you would like to create a simple video about your services or products and post it on youtube, this might help you do it.

Just a little story to start….when I began learning about online business and marketing strategies, my mentors suggested to create videos…

Needless to say I was scared… I suffered from “techno-phobia” and at that time…. I did not even know how to cut and paste…… yes indeed it was that bad.

That was about 5 years ago. When my mentor suggested videos I thought: impossible……I don’t know how to do it, I can’t, I never will…….. I’m not doing it.

But eventually I was willing to try new things and be uncomfortable……I started creating a simple video by using a series of images with motivating quotes in between and added music to finish up.

The software I used is called Animoto, it’s a simple program with a basic, free version.They offer different templates, you just have to add the images, the words and some of their music to make it professional. Voila….done and with having lot’s of fun 🙂

My dad actually helped me to do this….The next step is to create an account on youtube upload the video, done. You just created a simple video and posted it on youtube, congratulations!!!

Next you can experiment with creating a simple video presentation. Talk about something that is relevant to your  business, or interview someone. For example, in my case: I created videos about vision boards and subjects that might be interesting and helpful to entrepreneurs.

What you need is:

  1. Simple tripod, If you use an Iphone you need a tripod attachment for Iphone (google it)

  2. Camera ( I use my Iphone or a minoHD camera

  3. A simple editing software (moviemaker for PC, Imovie for Mac)

  4. Something interesting to talk about

  5. YouTube account

How to create a simple video

  1. Set up a place with a good background, from where you present something

  2. Set up the tripod, to capture you well

  3. Make sure the light is good

  4. Start talking and record

  5. Load the video onto your computer

  6. Edit

  7. Upload to youtube

  8. Give it a good title and write a description, use keywords, if you have a website or squeezepage add the URL

  9. Embed on your website

  10. Share on social media

Here some more details: Prepare it a little bit…..start by writing bulletpoints on a posterboad to remember what you want to talk about, otherwise you might end up rambling… yes it happens. Another idea is to write down the seperate scenes on post its…… yeah, kind of like a simplified screenplay.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember a long talk, so what you can do is: take short sections of video and then cut them together. Also when you record yourself, you have to cut out the parts, from pushing the record button to taking your position, which is easy to edit out.

Moviemaker provides themes which will make the cuts look professional and it can be a lot of fun to experiment. Movie maker is really easy to use. If you need help find some tutorials on youtube……if I can do it anybody can 🙂

Oh…one more thing that will give you a more professional look is: you can go to fiverr and order an “intro/extro” which you can add to the beginning and the end. They offer a variety of music and animations.

The service provider will want your logo and or business name. It’s a lot of fun and everything on fiverr costs only $5…. it’s ok to experiment, just allow yourself to play 🙂

Now try it…..be creative and have fun!!!!! I posted some of my videos, to give you an idea how simple it is. Did this help YOU? If you have anything to add or questions to ask, please post it in the comment box. I love to read them.

and pssst: Do you need more help? I would like to give YOU the gift of one free session. Just let me know.

 

Women over 40 and going through major life changes

 

Easy Vision Board Meditation

Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?

Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?

 

Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?

 

You probably googled: being stuck, discontent and confused ……welcome to my blog,  I hope this post will lift your confusion, or at least help you accept the times when you feel confused.

 

Most people have these moments of feeling stuck, confused and discontent, I sure have many times. Confusion is constantly with me, but I am learning to not be stopped by it.

 

Last year my coach introduced me to “Human Design” and used it in our coaching sessions. One of my obstacles came up: “confusion” and I learned that it actually is a huge energy in my system and I should use it as an asset.

 

I used to see it as a hindrance and after hearing what he told me… I thought, now I’m totally stuck with it. Nothing will get done, because my confusion always takes me out of the game. Painful…… can you relate?

 

The pattern acts like this: I am “gungho” about a project and start doing things then……I get confused and I start questioning everything I do…. with the result of not wanting to move forward anymore.

 

So…what I learned is: I use the confusion on others by questioning the options they have and help them get get clarity. How brilliant is that?  My favorite questions are:

  • How does all this fit together?
  • How can you make this work?

First I thought, wow this is brilliant and it is… but of course it takes a bit of time to get out of one pattern and get into the habit of doing something new.

 

New habits need to be practiced and after a while they become second nature, experts say it takes 21 days…This is very hopeful, but to be honest… I would say it takes longer.

 

Adopt the new attitude that there is no rush, it’s just life and there is nowhere to get to, no time limit to do it within. This is such a great help, that there is time and no rush. it's normal to set time lines, but we don’t have to. Ok… sometimes it’s necessary but not always.

 

How to practice a new, healthy habit……. the most important piece it to keep reminding yourself of it because…..believe it or not you forget 🙂

 

How to remind yourself of important things:

 

  • Journal about it every day

  • Write yourself a card to remind yourself

  • Create a poster and hang it in your office

  • Set reminders on your phone

 

These are common suggestions and tools, most people think it’s too simple and they don’t believe they work, they don’t want to do stupid exercises like this. The big answer to the problem is: don’t let your mind talk you out of stuff because…….. Your mind is the big problem.

 

Your mind is not here to make you happy, help you be successful and all the other good stuff. Your mind is here to keep you safe. Do you understand this? Just to spell it out what safe means for the mind: a miserable, boring, unfulfilled life.

 

Anything exciting in life has something to do with trying new things, experimenting.  Your mind will keep you from doing that….it’s not safe!!!……………

 

What this reminder phrase looks like for me: "Confusion is just an energy to help me help others clarify their life".

As a coach that’s very helpful……..don’t you think so too 🙂

 

This is what it says in my human design chart: I am under pressure to make sense of certain aspects of the world and to bring rhythm and change into other people’s lives.

 

I am here  to make others aware of aspects of their lives so they can follow a progression of change or choose to stay the way you are. But whether you chose to change or not …….the awareness my energy  brings, cannot be ignored.

Wohooooo, are you ready?

 

If you are curious, try an exploratory session with me, it’s my gift to you: e mail me  at maritasteffe@gmail.com to schedule a convenient time for you.