The pain and beauty of letting go

This picture was taken, when the sun rose over Iceland in January of 2014.  I was on my way back to Germany, after living in the San Francisco area for 35 years. That was four years ago and it took a lot of letting go. It was painful and it was  beautiful and exciting at the same time.

Somehow most human beings want to hold on to everything they know.  Letting go is to say goodby to belongings, people, believes and behaviors, illusions. Lots of things that that we got attached to.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh

At one point I thought… I did let go of everything I could let go of, but somehow there is always a little bit more 🙂

Letting go, letting go, letting go

I remember that I was paralyzed when I, bit by bit, let go of my beautiful home. My friends, my car and my work, my walks on the Pacific. All my belongings were reduced to fit into a ten by 10 storage. The rest went to a friend of mine who was delighted.

I held on to my bank accounts, my drivers license, my Post office box and my phone number, that was it.

Fast forward 4 years…2018, I let go of my PO Box and friendships that do not feel good anymore. Last year I let go of my business and as a result, I also had to let go of the need to be important, the need to have to proof myself by doing things.

Always a little bit more…

Over the past four years I even had to let go of the illusion of what I want my family to be like. Yeah the illusions are very hard to let go of 🙂

So many illusions that I hear and see in my environment, the ingredients for a “happy life”. The partner, the family, the career, the things one should have, the status symbols.

Well, somehow I let go of most of them, it´s not important any more. Now I focus on what really nourishes me and makes me happy. Lots of spiritual work,  a course in miracles, 12 step groups,  5 rhythm dancing, expressive painting, mantra singing and my studies of human design.

My search for something that inspires and stimulates me. I had to let go of everything in order to find what nourishes my spirit. As long as I make that a priority, I feel good.

Express yourself

So how do I do that? I trust the universe that I get whatever I need at the time when I need it. This trust helps me to let go and to be open to see and feel all the things that might be a sign to follow.

For me life is like a giant puzzle, lots of little pieces that at one time do not make much sense, but all of a sudden the realization that every piece is important in the grand scheme of life.

How does it work for you? What helps you to let go?

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