The pain and beauty of letting go

This picture was taken, when the sun rose over Iceland in January of 2014.  I was on my way back to Germany, after living in the San Francisco area for 35 years. That was four years ago and it took a lot of letting go. It was painful and it was  beautiful and exciting at the same time.

Somehow most human beings want to hold on to everything they know.  Letting go is to say goodby to belongings, people, believes and behaviors, illusions. Lots of things that that we got attached to.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh

At one point I thought… I did let go of everything I could let go of, but somehow there is always a little bit more 🙂

Letting go, letting go, letting go

I remember that I was paralyzed when I, bit by bit, let go of my beautiful home. My friends, my car and my work, my walks on the Pacific. All my belongings were reduced to fit into a ten by 10 storage. The rest went to a friend of mine who was delighted.

I held on to my bank accounts, my drivers license, my Post office box and my phone number, that was it.

Fast forward 4 years…2018, I let go of my PO Box and friendships that do not feel good anymore. Last year I let go of my business and as a result, I also had to let go of the need to be important, the need to have to proof myself by doing things.

Always a little bit more…

Over the past four years I even had to let go of the illusion of what I want my family to be like. Yeah the illusions are very hard to let go of 🙂

So many illusions that I hear and see in my environment, the ingredients for a “happy life”. The partner, the family, the career, the things one should have, the status symbols.

Well, somehow I let go of most of them, it´s not important any more. Now I focus on what really nourishes me and makes me happy. Lots of spiritual work,  a course in miracles, 12 step groups,  5 rhythm dancing, expressive painting, mantra singing and my studies of human design.

My search for something that inspires and stimulates me. I had to let go of everything in order to find what nourishes my spirit. As long as I make that a priority, I feel good.

Express yourself

So how do I do that? I trust the universe that I get whatever I need at the time when I need it. This trust helps me to let go and to be open to see and feel all the things that might be a sign to follow.

For me life is like a giant puzzle, lots of little pieces that at one time do not make much sense, but all of a sudden the realization that every piece is important in the grand scheme of life.

How does it work for you? What helps you to let go?

Every-Day Miracles

I love it when I get found by miracles. For most people it´s an abstract concept, not to say an-obtainable. For me too… miracles were something out of a fairy-tale, a movie, a book, but they did not exist in my reality.

After being open to think in a different way, I chose to believe that miracles are everywhere and happen all the time, as long as I pay attention. This is the simple strategy: the more conscious I am, the more quiet I can get, the more miracles I can see.

Let me give you a few examples: For a while I was trying to find someone who offers creative studio hours, a place where I can go and paint whatever I want, maybe just play wildly, without trying to create something beautiful, or thinking of any rules how to create an interesting painting, but just throw colors onto a piece of something.

Somehow I asked in a local Facebook group, if anybody knows someone… and I got a contact, which I tried and decided that it was not what I was looking for. So back to square one, I waited a while and I met the person again who recommended the other studio and told me that now he will be offering open painting studio, which is exactly what I´m looking for. Sebastian Schmidt: mein Raum Aachen, Germany

That´s a miracle… if I would not be tuned-in to these kind of things, I would not notice. So you might ask yourself, what exactly is so great about that. Ok…what it is for me is that I feel supported by the universe, I feel that there is some “higher power” out there that wants me to have and do the things I love, so that I can fulfill my purpose.

Another thing that came to me was 5rhythm dancing. I moved to Aachen Germany and wanted to dance 5rhythms. After checking on the global website, I found a teacher listed for this town and I immediately e-mailed her. Unfortunately she did not teach anymore, but told me about a small group of women who came together and danced.

Of course I joined them and a year later the same woman contacted me, to let me know that a teacher from Holland would like to start waves in Aachen, but needed help with organizing. Well I did not have a clue on how to organize this, but a young woman with lots of energy did and she started bringing different teachers to Aachen.

How wonderful is that? For me that was another miracle, the universe wanted me to dance and to express my creativity 🙂

5 years ago I could not decide if I should move from California back to Germany. After spending 35 years of my life there, this was an agonizing decision to make, so I asked the universe to give me 3 signs. Within 3 months I got 3 significant signs and I started to dismantle my life in America, bought a one-way ticket to Germany and never doubted my decision. Thank you universe!

When I trust that everything works out in the best possible way for all concerned, I live my life on purpose and everything that happens is a piece of a giant life puzzle, I feel connected and safe in this world, full of obstacles, which are learning opportunities for me. Sometimes it works better and sometimes it doesn´t but this way of being helps me to go with the flow of change.

It helps me to keep in mind, that everything I need, comes to me at the right time and that it might not always be what my ego thinks it wants or needs. Studying the principles of human design, the course in miracles, 12 step programs and other interesting spiritual wisdom help me to be open to a different way of looking at the world and accepting reality for what it is, or at least that´s the plan…sometimes I like to sit on the “pity potty” too.

Thanks you for your interest and I hope you get a little something out of my creative way of seeing and dancing with the world.

Look what I found: J.R Richmond is talking about Human Design, 12 Steps and a course in miracles


My favorite system for self-actualization

How Aging Can Be Fun

How aging can be fun


Ooooh, this is a fun subject. Great to have you here and thank you for your interest. Let me guess, you might be getting older…. and are trying to find out how aging can be fun 🙂

Right now I have difficulties to accept that I´m gaining belly fat. My friends roll their eyes and call me neurotic, because I look good. But somehow there is still this crazy idea that I would like to stay a size 6.

I admit, I gave in and let go of all the pants that were too tight and settled into the next size up. I only held on to a beautiful, expensive pair of bell bottom jeans, they are tooo cool to give away, Maybe there is a creative way to extend them 1″ on each side. If you have an idea let me know.

Hitting 62….feels like a new chapter in my life. Mondane things like success, being important, having lots of stuff, are not so interesting anymore and a zen- lifestyle is becoming more appealing. I let go of my car and ride my E-bike, I don´t need to travel to far away places anymore. I used to love to be in the sun, but now it´s no fun because I have Vitiligo. My solution is to visit colder countries with less sun, I always wanted to visit Iceland and swim in the Blue Lagoon. Acceptance of reality is a long process, that things are changing and part of it incorporates a bit of sadness and grieving.



Letting go

3 years ago I let my hair turn grey and had it cut it short. This process took years to finally have the courage to do this. These days the colour of my face is paler, because of the vitiligo… so I wear a bit more makeup.

My clothes are getting more colourful and adventurous. Somehow I find that black, which used to be my favourite colour is not so flattering these days and it´s being replaced with brighter happier colours.

For me, and this might be different for lots of people, I will not to get a facelift, a breast-lift, or any other lift. I chose for myself that it´s important to accept reality for what it is, without fighting it. I try to like my softer skin, my spots, and my wrinkles.

Suffering because I lost my youthful beauty and being adored by men? No way…or maybe a little bit once in a while. I try to fill my life with meaning, purpose, humor, creative projects, lovely people who share my views. Complicated people, worry and exposure to negativity is being limited.

One of the major teachings in Buddhism is: Let go of attachment.


What is attachment?

Loving someone can be an attachment, especially when we are afraid that the loved one will leave us, or when we try to please others to a point where it´s unhealthy.

Attachment can be the illusion of our thinking.

  • What life should be like
  • What our families should be like
  • What our children should be like
  • What work-situations should be like
  • What we should be like
  • What our spouses should be like
  • What we should look like

The older I get, the more I want to do the things that make me happy and forget about all the “shoulds”.


How Aging Can Be Fun for me

I love to be creative and now I allow myself lots of creativity. Time to paint, time to write, time to mess around, time to dance, time to stare into nothing, time to walk, time to inspire others. As long as I honor this need I feel good.

Allowing myself time for myself and to drop the need to do practical stuff is highly important. Is it easy? No it´s not…because I was trained to not follow my dreams and be practical. Dreams were frivolous. You can´t be an artist, they don´t make enough money, don´t waste your time on great dreams, you could be dissapointed.

Can you relate? Not to point the finger at anybody…. this is what happened to most people. Creativity and dreams did not have a place in the world and creativity and self-expression were forgotten in one of the drawers of life. Creating flocks of unhappy unfulfilled people.

For me that´s the beauty of getting older.  To just honor whatever I want to do. Fill life with meaning, express myself, have fun, share what interests me with friends.

I hope this article inspired you!

Below are some people that I find inspiring.

Chris Zydel offers great intuitive painting workshops

Christine Northrup has great tips for aging women

Marianne Williamson inspires me with her story and commitment to help people to a more spiritual life

Brene Brown  writes about vulnerability and other great subjects

If you like please leave a comment on how aging can be fun for you!

We can change the World

We can change the World

Has the world gone crazy?

Today is a sad day for me and many of my friends. Freedom, goodness, intelligence, wisdom are important to me and I feel that all this is threatened by the dark cloud of Donald Trump. I will go to my beautiful cathedral and meditate for something good to come out of this. Why would anybody vote for someone like this? Looking at lots of articles, media and posts on Facebook, I learned that they are fed up with politicians. They don´t trust them anymore, voting for Donald Trump is an act of desperation.

Germany is my country of origin, which still is over-shadowed by Nazi history. Hitler came to power because people believed he would relieve their suffering, create jobs, and give them food.  Well he did that… but at what price?? I tried to escape the shaddow and moved to San Francisco in 1979, where I spent good years and met many great people over the years… What really scares me right now is, how ignorant and narrow minded some parts of the country are. There are similarities between the Hitler and Trump. Some people say that´s crazy, but I do not think so:-)

What is going on right now?

Humanity seems to be in chaos, the old ways are not working anymore, but people are not ready for something new. The system is trying to keep us in fear…only fearful people can be manipulated. Yes change is hard, but life is change and it cannot be stopped, without rotting the system and rotten it is. Not only in America!

Our world is being ruled by money interests and those money interests are ruling politics. War makes money, people are kept in fear, so they support their wars. The government keeps people uneducated and ignorant, so they can be manipulated easier. Give folks a TV, a couch and beer, to shut them up and keep them numb and dumb.

Meanwhile we are poisoned by toxic foods coming from China and companies like Monsanto. Nestle is bottling tap water, selling it for lots of money and nobody is doing anything to stop them. America still allows prison labour, otherwise there is not enough work, CEOs are overpaid and hardworking people earn too little. Education is too expensive, healthcare is not affordable for many people, prices are rising and income does not keep up. Someone like Bernie Sanders actually has the guts to openly talk about these facts, but unfortunately he is not a candidate. Sorry, I just had to vent…

Change your mind change your life

Now let´s focus on what we can change.

I noticed that there is something missing in the way we are brought up. We learn that we have to compete, to be the lone wolfs, to have to achieve everything by ourselves, to not ask for help, to be perfect and invulnerable. We learn that stuff and money will makes up happy. We learn to fit into a box and then forget that we are in the box. The big illusion of “consumerism” will not make us happy.

People who think in WE not ME, will change the world. Human beings are tribal beings, it´s time to go back to that. What can we do to change that? Spirituality, no I do not mean organized religion… Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives, below is an interpretation that I like.

           In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience—something that touches us all.

What has helped me

My own life has changed, the moment I was introduced to spirituality, through 12 step programs. It has changed my life. I used to be arrogant, self-centred, angry and felt like a victim. Self-medication, alcohol and shopping gave me a false sense of well-being. Life was mostly drama and gossiping about others. This is how most humans live, it´s not good. Getting in touch with spirituality has given me happiness and a purpose in life that is beyond just looking out for myself.

Finding a way to be fulfilled that is not about the money, the position, the education, the designer labels. The new happy is: who I am as a human being and what I can give to my environment. The contribution can be small, for example to smile at people, to hear them, to be there for them. I make a difference by not consuming too much, by buying organic food. By reducing the plastic I use.

Anything that produces negativity I stay away from, no news, no TV, no toxic people. Alcohol is not a part of my life anymore, because I like and accept the way I am and do not need to numb myself anymore. If I would have learned all this earlier, life would have been better for my kids, my family, friends and everybody who crossed my way.

But that was not the case and I forgive myself… Just in case you wonder why I´m writing all this: If we all would have access to this kind of transformation, we would change the world. If most people would act from the heart and not from fear and superrealism all would be different.

How To Stay Positive In A Negative Environment

Who says that the financial system have to be the way they are? They were set into place by bankers, a few hundred years ago, they can be changed. The stock market is part of the problem. It´s time for something different. For the time being I will meditate and pray for a miracle.


What do you think? I love to read your comments.

How to Turn Melancholy into Creativity

how to turn melancholy into creativity

How to Turn Melancholy into Creativity

Hello my friends, how are you?? Summer is almost over, leaves are turning flaming colors, the air is a bit cooler and a new season is here.

Whenever this happens I am happy because I love fall and at the same time I feel a hint of melancholy, saying goodbye to the warm sun.

The last few weeks I heard lots of friends complain about feeling melancholic, so I thought it´s a good idea to write an article, how to turn this melacholy into creativity. First let´s see what Wikipedia has to say about Melancholy:

A feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

Now… how does this melancholy feel in my body?

  • Heaviness in my heart area
  • Very little excitement
  • Lethargy, (a lack of energy and enthusiasm)
  • Everything brings up tears
  • A feeling of hopelessness

These feelings are very familiar to me, I used to call them depression. Thanks to some people and wisdom in my life, I learned about a kinder way to talk and think about it.

The last few years, I have been immersed into Human Design which taught me that all these feelings and states of mind are mechanical energies that just happen. 

Sometimes its due to life circumstances, or planetary energies that activate certain energies, sometimes it´s the energy of other people.

When I found out that I have lots of energies, that are actually melancholic, but at the same time very creative, I thought ok, what can I do with this insight? The answer was: melancholic states are great times to be creative.

What a great time to write poetry, write into a journal, write a book, paint a picture, create a collage, plant flowers, try a new recipe, make a beautiful table arrangement, or whatever your creative muse wants to do.

The trick is to actually do it….Somehow human beings are strange and that includes me too. You know what would be good for you, but you avoid doing it.

Has that that ever happened to you? That you rather clean the house, spend money, watch TV, drink a bottle of wine, start some drama, get into a fight…

Sounds familiar? I did all of those things… 10 years ago I stopped watching TV, quit drinking, quit immersing myself into drama… but I still have my ways of avoiding to meet my creative muse.

I hate so say it, but sometimes gentle force is needed. These days, I kindly force myself to be creative and the melancholy feels a lot lighter. These little actions help me:

  • I bought myself a good speaker to fill my space with beautiful music.
  • I always collect materials, to have everything ready to create collages when the creativity calls.
  • Sometimes I take my journal to the park, sit on the grass or a bench and start writing, which at one point might morph into a book about my crazy life.

The most important lesson in all this is to make a choice: To get depressed… or to do things that will actually help the energy to move through your body. Do something creative and as a bonus, you might be left with a beautiful piece of art.

                                                        Love you all


What is your experience with melancholy and creativity? What do you do when you are sad? Please share it with us and leave a comment.




Fear of Success?

fear of success


Fear of Success?

You want success, but then something inside of you does not want success… .Fear of success comes up when you try something new and most of the time, this fear prevents you from doing the things you love to do. Have you noticed this conflict inside of you?

Scenario: This is what it looks like in my life:  I am gung- ho to move ahead with something, a new project, something kind of scary. For example, I am planning to go to a new networking event, meet new people, create a new event, call someone important, ask for help…

What I sense in my body:


  • A weird feeling of unease in my belly, or solar plexus.
  • A "voice" inside of my head saying: oh you don´t really want to do this, it´s too scary, what if it goes wrong, it takes too much energy, people will not like it, you are too old, you don´t really want this anyway.


And on it goes…The strange thing is, this might be the very thing you want in life: to be successful with something you love to do, but the "voice" does not want to help you do it. The "voice" wants to keep you safe.

All this is happening automatically and it´s not logical. The "voice" is the old part of the brain, which wants to protect you from getting eaten by bears and dinosaurs. This is the the reptilian, or nimbic part of the brain. It does not know that most of us, especially in the western world, do not have to fight with bears and dinosaurs any more 🙂

Trying to do a new thing means: reptilian brain is on high alert… there might be a bear out there. Yeah it sounds pretty funny, but actually this "voice" is very successful at talking us out of trying anything new, with the result:

  • Nothing happens,
  • No dreams get realized,
  • No goals get achieved, just the same old, safe, unfulfilling life.


What can you do? You can face the fear…and you can try these 4 simple tips to help you act in spite the fear of success.

  • Awareness is the first step. Just by being aware of your voice and the feelings in your body, you can feel the fear and chose to act anyway. It will not feel good the first time, but the more you do it the easier it will be.

Simple example: When I started with social media and online marketing 2009, I wanted to post a tweet on Twitter. I was scared to death, somehow I thought everybody on Twitter will look at this and think, oh what a stupid thing to say….But eventually I overcame the fear and posted the tweet….now it´s routine. I had the same fear with writing articles, creating and posting videos, doing interviews, approaching new people.

To be honest, anything outside of the routine is still difficult, but now I have ways to help me over the resistance.


  • After being aware, it´s helpful to visualize what you want and create little reminders of your dreams and goals. For example a visionboard is a great tool to remind you of what you really want in life, it´s also fun to create one. I will post some videos about: How to create a visionboard, at the end of the post.
  • Create a mastermind group: 3 to 5 people in your inner circle who know about your dreams and goals and will remind you. Make sure they are people who want to help you to succeed and believe in you. It´s a good idea to talk to them about your resistance and fear of success, so they are fully aware of it and can help you through. There is no easy way… the fact is there is fear and it does not feel good, but the only way out is through.
  • Create a list of affirmations and simple sentences that will remind you of what you want to achieve, write them on little cards, set reminders on your phone, on the wall, on the bathroom mirror, in your purse. It sounds a little simple minded, but these simple affirmations help.


If you need more help, get a coach!  Someone who will help you through the walls of resistance. Someone who recognizes  your full potential and knows how to help you realize it.

And last not least, just have fun with the process, enjoy it! Enjoy even the difficult parts! Yes you can!!!

Please leave a comment if you would like to share your ideas, if you like this post, or even if you don´t like this post.

                                             Written with love


How To Make A Vision Board – To Attract The Perfect Relationship


Easy Vision Board Meditation

Click here for more articles about visionboards

When You Feel All Over the Place

What to do when you feel all over the Place.


What to do when you feel all over the Place.

Hmmmm, what does it feel like to be all over the place? Doing too many things at the same time, getting distracted, starting one thing and continuing with another? What is it for you? Another name for it is: scattered, or multitasking. If you have experienced this too in your life, you probably find it very annoying. That´s how I feel about it. In this blogpost I would love to share a few tools that help me.

A good place to start is to feel this sensation of “feeling all over the place”.

  • What´s going on in your body?
  • Where do you feel this sensation?
  • What does it feel like?

For example: I feel pressure in my solar plexus and my head hurts, from too many thoughts racing at me at the same time. I feel bombarded with images and fragments of thoughts. My heart starts racing, my breathing gets shallow….. ·       

By just feeling the energy I become calmer and after a few minutes I hear a little voice, saying:

  •  Make a list of things to do.
  •  Take a few deep breaths.
  • Start with the most important thing on the list and do it.        .

After a few minutes, peace sets in and I say to myself: ok that sounds good, I can do this. My notebook is here and I write down a few things that I would like to accomplish today.

But then the crazy thing happens: I start with one thing, for example, I want to write a blogpost: All is well, I go to my WordPress dashboard… there is a comment, ok I say to myself, I would like to post an answer the comment.

Someone has a question about an opt-in, which prompts me to check my E-mail list. Doing that I find out that 5 people who signed up for the list did not confirm their mail. Now I think, I better E- mail the new subscribers and explain what they need to do.

That takes another 15 minutes. Then I think, oh I wanted to get some visionboard success stories from participants and believe it or not… I start sending some E-mails with my idea…. When I´m done, I remember that I promised someone to write a testimonial and of course I do that….

Yes it sounds very funny but… in the mean time I remember that my first thing on the list was: to write a blogpost. Success, I have the title already, but not much more. Now I need to forgive myself and go back to my blogpost  🙂

Does this happen to you?

I realize that I do not have the answer to “being all over the place”, but one thing I can say. Write down what´s important, train yourself to look at the list, come back to the list and be persistent.

Proof that it works: I wrote my blogpost to the end and had a lot of fun doing it. Sometimes I had to stop and laugh about my “craziness”. The most important thing to do: Establish a good practice in mindfulness. This will help you to be more aware of your inner dialog.

That´s the real practice and it will change your life. How can you do this?

  • ·        Daily meditation
  • ·        Watch your thoughts and actions
  • ·        Be patient with yourself
  • ·        Have a good laugh when you mess up and try again.

Now… this is not very scientific but sometimes it helps to just recognize yourself in the struggle of others. I´m a coach and I can help people best with the things I´m struggling with myself.

My coach always says: You can only take others, where you are willing to go yourself. That´s my mantra…I Hope you had fun reading this and before I forget. Please leave a comment, if you have your own “all over the place story”.

                                                                                      Love Marita


Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How Coaching and Human Design Work Together

Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How are you? I’m so happy that you are here. Today I would like to share something with you that has been a life-changer for me. Oh, before I forget I would like to wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

My studies and training in personal development and coaching have been extensive and just when I thought I can stop learning for a while, my coach introduced me to Human Design.

He used it in our coaching sessions and I was amazed how it helped me move through some issues that held me back. So now you might want to know….

  • What is Human Design and how does it work with coaching?

Chetan Parkyn, a human design expert and author of several books on the subject explains it this way: We each have our own unique design — a blueprint of our individual nature. Yet, few of us live in accordance with our Design, because we don’t know what it is. Instead, we try to mold ourselves to the expectations of other people. (That´s where the problem starts)

So the key benefit to knowing your design is that once you know how your energies flow, what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can better work with them, accept your unique nature and be yourself. Of course it will make it easier to accept other people for who they are, too.

You will have access to some simple strategies on how to make decisions according to your type and how to interact with others. It will help you to know which relationships will be good for you and which will be complicated, then you can decide if you chose to hang out with the difficult ones or not.

It will also be beneficial to accept the fact that life is programmed and that your internal navigation system will guide you through it. Now this is a tough one to swallow for some people but for others it´s a relief. I am a fan of 12 step programs and a practitioner of mindfulness and I found that these 3 practices work together in total harmony.

This is about all I want to say about the system and if you would like to know more about it you will find great information at Human Design for us all and Human Design America. I also would like to let you know that I am not a human design expert nor offer professional readings, I simply use elements that have proven to be beneficial for me and my clients in my coaching.

Some practical examples how it works.

First I print out an interesting chart based on name, place, date and time of birth of a person which gives me a lot of information about certain energies in the human being. Some people do not like this, that`s ok, but for the ones who like self-discovery and want to know the truth of how they operate in the world, this is truly an amazing tool.

Let me give you some examples of how it has benefited me. One of my challenges is fluctuating self-worth, I never thought about it and just knew it was there but did not really know how to work with it.

  • So I learned that it`s not my nature but what I learned while growing up, because most parents and society do not support individuality, they try to mold little people to their standards. So it’s easy for a child to believe that they are not worth anything, they are not lovable, or they always feel that there is something wrong with them. These are called patterns of belief and survival patterns. These are also the internal energies that keep us stuck.
  • The other important insight was that my energy fluctuates and that it`s very important for my wellbeing to be aware of my energy and not force myself to do things when the energy is not there, but fully utilize it when it’s there. I have to be aware of my flow not only for me but for my environment, because when my energy is off I mess up your flow. So I have some responsibility 🙂
  • I have some energies that work as a catalyst for others, meaning that when people are around me or work with me….out of the blue they open up to stuck energies, now this might sound a bit weird, but I notice it more and more.
  • The last one I want to mention is a huge creative energy which has to be shared with the others. Most of my life I was very closed and did not share myself, but since I started my journey of self-discovery I started to open up and the more I open up and share my findings the more fulfilled I feel.
  • Oh, here is one more…I am all over the place that means I am jumping from one idea to the next one excitement to the next, one task to the next and I thought I have to be concentrated and do one thing at a time. Knowing this has opened up new opportunities because I can accept that my energies work like this, but I can also learn how to be effective when I`m all over the place.

This is it for now, I could go on forever, but I just wanted to give you a taste. This information has been life changing and I am forever grateful to my coach and trainer Dave Buck, CEO of Coachville to use Human Design in our coaching sessions.



Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?

Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?


Do you Feel Stuck, Discontent and Confused?


You probably googled: being stuck, discontent and confused ……welcome to my blog,  I hope this post will lift your confusion, or at least help you accept the times when you feel confused.


Most people have these moments of feeling stuck, confused and discontent, I sure have many times. Confusion is constantly with me, but I am learning to not be stopped by it.


Last year my coach introduced me to “Human Design” and used it in our coaching sessions. One of my obstacles came up: “confusion” and I learned that it actually is a huge energy in my system and I should use it as an asset.


I used to see it as a hindrance and after hearing what he told me… I thought, now I’m totally stuck with it. Nothing will get done, because my confusion always takes me out of the game. Painful…… can you relate?


The pattern acts like this: I am “gungho” about a project and start doing things then……I get confused and I start questioning everything I do…. with the result of not wanting to move forward anymore.


So…what I learned is: I use the confusion on others by questioning the options they have and help them get get clarity. How brilliant is that?  My favorite questions are:

  • How does all this fit together?
  • How can you make this work?

First I thought, wow this is brilliant and it is… but of course it takes a bit of time to get out of one pattern and get into the habit of doing something new.


New habits need to be practiced and after a while they become second nature, experts say it takes 21 days…This is very hopeful, but to be honest… I would say it takes longer.


Adopt the new attitude that there is no rush, it’s just life and there is nowhere to get to, no time limit to do it within. This is such a great help, that there is time and no rush. it's normal to set time lines, but we don’t have to. Ok… sometimes it’s necessary but not always.


How to practice a new, healthy habit……. the most important piece it to keep reminding yourself of it because…..believe it or not you forget 🙂


How to remind yourself of important things:


  • Journal about it every day

  • Write yourself a card to remind yourself

  • Create a poster and hang it in your office

  • Set reminders on your phone


These are common suggestions and tools, most people think it’s too simple and they don’t believe they work, they don’t want to do stupid exercises like this. The big answer to the problem is: don’t let your mind talk you out of stuff because…….. Your mind is the big problem.


Your mind is not here to make you happy, help you be successful and all the other good stuff. Your mind is here to keep you safe. Do you understand this? Just to spell it out what safe means for the mind: a miserable, boring, unfulfilled life.


Anything exciting in life has something to do with trying new things, experimenting.  Your mind will keep you from doing that….it’s not safe!!!……………


What this reminder phrase looks like for me: "Confusion is just an energy to help me help others clarify their life".

As a coach that’s very helpful……..don’t you think so too 🙂


This is what it says in my human design chart: I am under pressure to make sense of certain aspects of the world and to bring rhythm and change into other people’s lives.


I am here  to make others aware of aspects of their lives so they can follow a progression of change or choose to stay the way you are. But whether you chose to change or not …….the awareness my energy  brings, cannot be ignored.

Wohooooo, are you ready?


If you are curious, try an exploratory session with me, it’s my gift to you: e mail me  at to schedule a convenient time for you.


Do More of What You Love to Do

Do what you love


Do More of What You Love to Do

It's a rainy day and I'm sitting in a cafe in Aachen Germany, with a view of the old townhall, dating from 1300. My fingers are tapping rythmicalIy on the keyboard…… I love to write, actually it wasn't always like this……it used to be something that I thought I'm not good at…… I did not enjoy the process and it never crossed my mind that I would actually love to write. All the stuff that my mind would tell me, to keep me from doing the things I love to do 🙂

But you just never know what miracles can happen. Now I'm thinking about writing a book to share my eventful life experiences, a journey from enduring life to loving life. We'll see when that happens….Right now I am fascinated by Human Design and I learned that one of my "superpowers" is to share my experiences. Wouldn't it be great to share this in a book?

The more you do the things you love to do, the more the things you love will come to you.    

Meditative dancing is another great way to express yourself. It's not recreational dancing, but a form of moving meditation, which I discovered through a good friend of mine in California. It's called "5 rythm dancing" or "sweat your prayers". Click the link if you would like to find a class in your area, they normally let you try one for free and after that it's $15 per class.

When I tried it the first time, I could not believe how good I felt after the dance. My busy mind was quiet, my body was calm and totally realaxed. I felt like being on a cloud without having taken any substances. I was so moved by the music and spirit that I had tears streaming down my face 🙂

Dancing meditation is: to be moved by the music. The body is the instrument that is being moved, it's a way to get into the body out the mind, to free yourself from thinking, planning, strategizing, future tripping and worrying for a short time. Sometimes when I dance, solutions to problems float into my mind, or I get flashes of creative ideas.

Moving meditation is also self expression at it's finest, it's not about looking good, it's not about taking the right steps, it's not about performing…..It's about "the expression of self" expression of spirit, a prayer in motion…..and also a way to deeply connect with others.

Ok, this might sound a bit too much for the people who are "rational" and don't believe in spiritual practices and believes… By the way this could have been me ten years ago, I was very rational and did not understand the "new age thing, the old hippie thing, the "god thing"….But I changed my mind.

I now live in a mind-space of miracles, when I say miracles…it's the little things in life where the timing is just right. Someone or something appears out of the blue and it helps, inspires or motivates me. Maybe it's the next piece in the puzzle of my life.

For example, I was at a friends house and I had the thought;  Marita… walk to the creek… somehow I did not do it….another hour later I had the thought again….Marita walk to the creek. This time I put my shoes on and walked to the creek.

At the turn in the road a man and a dog came up the path…I looked at him, he looked at me and he said…are you Marita? I looked at him perplexed and said yes… are you Tom….he said yes….it was a friend of mine from 40 years ago, before I moved to the states. (By the way I did not use his real name)

If I would have come 2 minutes later or one minute earlier… we would not have met on this path… this is what I call "my little miracles." I don't know, why we met, but I know the timing was so crazy that there must be a good reason.

Maybe I can say something to him, that he needs to hear to open something up for the next step on the journey, maybe it's something I will need to hear……Who knows?

What are your miracles?

Now… you might ask; what's the common denominator between miracles and doing what you love to do. Well for me it works together, the more I do the things I love to do and I can generate the energy of inspiration, the more I experience these kinds of miracles.

I think it's heightened awareness and being in tune with my intuition. Simple Miracles happen all the time, but the question is: are you aware of them?

Make a little experiment and try it for yourself…… Now back to dancing, tonight I will actually go visit a club with disco music, it's not the same spiritual experience, but it's super, fun exercise for me.

I remember that 10 years ago it would have been in agony to think about going to a club alone, just dancing and having a blast. These days I can do it… no problem and I totally enjoy myself.

Doing more of the things I love to do, is changing my life. The energy of blissful enjoyment is attracting more things that I love into my life.

Yeah, that's how the Law of attraction works in my life….

What do you love to do? Please let me know and write a comment…..I love to know 🙂

PS: If you don't know what you love to do….yes it happens and believe me you are not the only one…maybe you would like to try a fun coaching session. My gift to you…to get to know you is your gift to me 🙂 click the contact tab and let me know…

My dance video to give you a little taste