Fear of Success?
You want success, but then something inside of you does not want success… .Fear of success comes up when you try something new and most of the time, this fear prevents you from doing the things you love to do. Have you noticed this conflict inside of you?
Scenario: This is what it looks like in my life: I am gung- ho to move ahead with something, a new project, something kind of scary. For example, I am planning to go to a new networking event, meet new people, create a new event, call someone important, ask for help…
What I sense in my body:
- A weird feeling of unease in my belly, or solar plexus.
- A "voice" inside of my head saying: oh you don´t really want to do this, it´s too scary, what if it goes wrong, it takes too much energy, people will not like it, you are too old, you don´t really want this anyway.
And on it goes…The strange thing is, this might be the very thing you want in life: to be successful with something you love to do, but the "voice" does not want to help you do it. The "voice" wants to keep you safe.
All this is happening automatically and it´s not logical. The "voice" is the old part of the brain, which wants to protect you from getting eaten by bears and dinosaurs. This is the the reptilian, or nimbic part of the brain. It does not know that most of us, especially in the western world, do not have to fight with bears and dinosaurs any more 🙂
Trying to do a new thing means: reptilian brain is on high alert… there might be a bear out there. Yeah it sounds pretty funny, but actually this "voice" is very successful at talking us out of trying anything new, with the result:
- Nothing happens,
- No dreams get realized,
- No goals get achieved, just the same old, safe, unfulfilling life.
What can you do? You can face the fear…and you can try these 4 simple tips to help you act in spite the fear of success.
- Awareness is the first step. Just by being aware of your voice and the feelings in your body, you can feel the fear and chose to act anyway. It will not feel good the first time, but the more you do it the easier it will be.
Simple example: When I started with social media and online marketing 2009, I wanted to post a tweet on Twitter. I was scared to death, somehow I thought everybody on Twitter will look at this and think, oh what a stupid thing to say….But eventually I overcame the fear and posted the tweet….now it´s routine. I had the same fear with writing articles, creating and posting videos, doing interviews, approaching new people.
To be honest, anything outside of the routine is still difficult, but now I have ways to help me over the resistance.
- After being aware, it´s helpful to visualize what you want and create little reminders of your dreams and goals. For example a visionboard is a great tool to remind you of what you really want in life, it´s also fun to create one. I will post some videos about: How to create a visionboard, at the end of the post.
- Create a mastermind group: 3 to 5 people in your inner circle who know about your dreams and goals and will remind you. Make sure they are people who want to help you to succeed and believe in you. It´s a good idea to talk to them about your resistance and fear of success, so they are fully aware of it and can help you through. There is no easy way… the fact is there is fear and it does not feel good, but the only way out is through.
- Create a list of affirmations and simple sentences that will remind you of what you want to achieve, write them on little cards, set reminders on your phone, on the wall, on the bathroom mirror, in your purse. It sounds a little simple minded, but these simple affirmations help.
If you need more help, get a coach! Someone who will help you through the walls of resistance. Someone who recognizes your full potential and knows how to help you realize it.
And last not least, just have fun with the process, enjoy it! Enjoy even the difficult parts! Yes you can!!!
Please leave a comment if you would like to share your ideas, if you like this post, or even if you don´t like this post.
Written with love
Marita
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