How to let go of Frustration

How to let go of frustration

How to let go of Frustration.

Hello I hope you are well…or did you land here because you are frustrated? Look at my picture that´s how I feel! Steaming of anger and frustration. Today, I’m writing this post because I am totally frustrated 🙂

The funny thing is that I was not planning to write a post about frustration… but let me tell you first what happened. This will prove that the energy of frustration can be turned into something creative.

This morning I went to a coffeeshop to write. First I ordered a lovely cappuccino, sat down, opened my E-Mail and downloaded a document. All was well, until… I cannot open the document, play around for 15 minutes and still can´t do it. So what happens:

  • Frustrations sets in.
  • Body gets tense,
  • Mind gets tense, telling me all kinds of not very kind things.

For example: why did my friend sent me this document in a format that I can´t open with my adobe reader. This cannot be happening, I just want to write, be creative and finish a blogpost. All I´m doing is trying to read this freaking file. Scene: Tension is building, anger is creeping up, can you relate?

Now my mindfulness sets in  quietly reasoning : Marita please calm down, it´s just another challenge, take a deep breath and let it go. You can just let go of trying to open the document right now and start writing your post.

Ah, idea is popping up! I will write a blogpost about frustration. Exactly describing my feelings and how I can transform them, that´s fun. Good plan…feeling much better already. My tense face, is turning into a smile, my shallow breathing is turning into a deep belly breath and life is peaceful and fun again.

What exactly did I do to let go of the frustration? 

  • I was conscious or mindful about what was going on in my mind and body.
  • I thought about one practical thing to that would solve the problem. 
  • I started to talk to myself in a kind way and calm myself down.
  • I focused on my breathing and deepened it.

The practical thing I did was: I sent an e mail to my friend and asked her to paste the text into a new e mail. Problem solved. Frustration is such a powerful feeling, it comes up a lot and it can spoil the mood and wreck the day. Not only for you but also for everybody who comes in contact with you. Normally if the feeling gets suppressed, it will try to find a way to explode.

For example the next person you talk to might say one thing that upsets you and wow an explosion of unkind words might be unloaded on that person. The result is that you get to feel bad about yourself. All this can be avoided by being conscious about what´s going on inside of you.

What I learned from Human Design in regards to frustration.

 I´ve been studying Human Design for a few years.  As a generator, which is one of the 4 energy types in Human Design, I learned that I get frustrated whenever I do not respond correctly to a prompt from the outside, my intuition or gut feeling.

So now whenever I get frustrated, I know that I need to take a deep breath, go for a walk, or meditate. Do something that brings me back to myself. It´s a very simple practice that has changed my life. What are your thoughts about frustration?

How to Improve your Personal Environment

How to Improve your Personal Environment

 

How to Improve your Personal Environment

Hello again, I hope you are well and enjoying your life. Right now nature is exploding with delicate green buds, days are getting longer, the sun is warming up the ground, birds are chirping away. What a wonderful time of the year.

Spring is always a great time for a nice cleaning, not just the cleaning of your home but also looking at your relationships, bodies, mind and spirit. In this blogpost we look at your physical environment. The next blogpost will be about your body and appearance.

 It´s a great opportunity to evaluate what works and what does not work in your immediate environment, the result will be increased life energy for the things you want to do and to help you create the life you love

 

Your physical environment

Let´s look at your home and workspace:

Are you happy with the way your home and office looks and feels?

No matter what the answer is, just start with a nice cleaning, use a good environmentally safe cleaner, with essential oils to make it more pleasant. Open the windows to let in fresh air, put on your favourite music and let´s start. While you do this, look at everything and ask yourself the following questions.

  •          Is there any clutter that makes you feel bad, but you ignore it?
  •          Are there repairs that you just do not get around to?
  •          Is anything missing?
  •          Anything that can be let go of?

Yeah, it´s amazing how much stuff gets accumulated but, do you need it all? Probably not. What I really love is the Feng Shui principle that when empty space gets created, the void will attract something new into your life. What a wonderful concept that always helps me to let go of stuff.

Broken things and  messes drain your energy. Yes it´s true… you just have to be aware and mindful of how you feel and what gives energy and what takes energy. Practicing mindfulness or being aware of everything inside and outside yourself is a huge part of living a happy, fulfilled life.

Try a little experiment and see how it makes you feel, give it your total awareness. Clean up something, fix something or get rid of something and feel the energy in your body.

  •          How does it feel?
  •          What changed?
  •          Do you have more energy?

One more practical tip: I always have 2 bags and one box around, one bag for stuff to give away, one bag for garbage and a box for stuff that I do not really need but still want to hang on to. I list the items on the box and put a date on. If I have not needed it after a year I go through again and might want to let it go. This is an ongoing process and it´s real fun.

Here are two example from my life

I broke the glass container of my blender about 6 months ago. Somehow it really bothered me that I had to buy a new one. Sure I tried to go to some local shops to buy it but it was not available. One salesperson gave me the website to order the part…that was about 4 months ago.

Despite the many occasions where I needed a blender and feeling bad about not doing it, I still have not gotten around to it. Last week I started a detox and really needed one, so I finally ordered it online. I cannot tell you how good that felt, not to have to think about the blender anymore, it freed up energy for other things. 

Another little example for fixing something: When my internet was installed the cable guy needed to install a new jack, but they were only allowed to connect the cables coming out of the wall, so the jack was just hanging there.

I had to get my handyman to install it, which took me about 7 months and I finally did it this months. The joy I felt after it was done was exhilarating. Now I can walk by this part of the room and feel good. Before there was always the nagging thought: Marita this looks sloppy, get it fixed, why don´t you do it? 

The feeling after something is done is fabulous and I never understand why it took me so long. Does this happen to you? Let me know if this was helpful? Do you have a good tip you would like to share? Please leave a comment.

Ps: Some ideas in this post are inspired by the world power method of my wonderful school Coachville New York

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-Doubt

Hi my friend how are you? Finally the days are getting longer, sunrays are warming up the air,  trees are budding, birds are chirping and colourful flowers are popping up everywhere. Hooray it`s spring…. a new beginning.

I just spent some time in California, my old place of residency. When I arrived back in Germany I was greeted with rain and very cold weather. It felt like being thrown from heaven into a dark cold place…. no I will not call it hell, my German friends would not like it 🙂

Maybe the fowl weather propelled me into a deep trance of self-doubt and melancholy, but I sure tumbled into it. Something happened…. my intuition lead me to a book by Richard Rudd called the Gene Keys. After being a student of human design for a few years, I wanted to dive deeper into the material and look at it from a different point of view. I found this chapter about self-doubt fascinating and would like to share a few aspects.

I am not writing this to talk about human design or the Gene Keys and will not get into it deeper. It just helped me transform my attack of self-doubt, which sometimes totally takes me out of the game for a while. I´m sure you can relate and if you struggle with self-doubt this information might be very helpful.

Self-Doubt is born when you cannot relate with the wonder of your imagination and intuition and your focus is on logic and heavy thinking. Doubt can be very helpful in some aspects, like science or research but if you try to apply it to your life it really does not work so well. It causes a huge amount of pressure and does not go away until you do something about it.

It´s a deep feeling of being unsettled, something that cannot be solved and all we want to do is get rid of the pressure. When this pressure arises it´s accompanied by anxiety which will lead us to come up with some strategies that will make us feel better, or so we think.

We might go shopping, find someone to have sex with, drink too much alcohol, take drugs, watch TV, scream at someone…. anything that will release the anxiety and help us forget about the pressure. This strategy works for a while but eventually it will stop working…. Yeah I know I tried most of them.

Self-doubt is the name we give this physical sensation of mental pressure.

What would be a healthier way to release the pressure?

The first action would be to not take it personal….Not easy to do but you can practice it. If you can use self-doubt to question something, then it´s a creative action. If you take it personal it will turn into self-defeating, painful and paralyzing anxiety.

Talking about your self-doubt with a trusted friend to take it out of your head will help. Allow it to be there instead of resisting. The good thing is, that it always turns around and some answer or solution will show up.

Patience and Trust are required.  Yes it´s no fun, but just looking at it from a different point of view will make it easier to bear. The worst you can do is to get into harmful action, which will not solve anything but make it worse. The key is not to act, not to suppress, but allow it to be there. Self-doubt is part of the logical mind and good for something, like scientific research and evaluating, but not a good tool to answer your own life questions.

The mind wants to ask questions, so try to experiment with curious, playful questions:

  • I wonder what will happen if?
  • What is this feeling trying to tell me?
  • I wonder where I will find the answer to this?
  • I wonder how this will work?

 

Next time when you get an attack of self-doubt try it and see how it goes. I use this practice all the time and it really helps. You just need a good dose of mindfulness to be aware of your mind-games. There is no certainty and if you can be with not knowing the answers your life will blossom and catapult you into the zone of wonders and flowing with life.

                                   

Happy practicing and if you want to share some tips about self-doubt please share your comment with us.

 

Simple Strategies to Transform Self-doubt

Hi my friend how are you? Finally the days are getting longer, the sun is warmer, the trees are budding and colorful flowers are popping up everywhere. Hooray it`s spring, it´s a new beginning.

I just spent some time in California my old home. When I arrived in Germany I was greeted with rain and very cold weather. It felt like being thrown from heaven into a dark cold place…. no I will not call it hell, my German friends would not like it J

Maybe the fowl weather propelled me into a deep trance of self-doubt and melancholy. Something happened…. my intuition lead me to a book by Richard Rudd called the Gene Keys. After being a student of human design for a few years I wanted to dive deeper into the material and look at it from a different point of view. I found this chapter about self-doubt fascinating and would like to share a few aspects.

I am not writing this to talk about human design or the Gene Keys and will not get into it deeper. It just was very helpful with my attack of self-doubt, which sometimes totally takes me out of the game for a while. I´m sure you can relate and if you struggle with self-doubt this information might be very helpful.

Self-Doubt is born when you cannot relate with the wonder of your imagination and intuition and your focus is on logic and heavy thinking. Doubt can be very helpful in some aspects, like science or research but if you try to apply it to your life it really does not work so well. It causes a huge amount of pressure and does not go away until you do something about it.

It´s a deep feeling of being unsettled, something that cannot be solved and all we want to do is get rid of the pressure. When this pressure arises it´s accompanied by anxiety which will lead us to come up with some strategies that will make us feel better, or so we think J

We might go shopping, find someone to have sex with, drink some alcohol, take some drugs, watch some TV, scream at someone…. anything that will release the anxiety and helps us forget about the pressure. This strategy works for a while but eventually it will stop. Yeah I know I tried most of them..

Self-doubt is the name we give this physical sensation of mental pressure.

What would be a healthier way to release the pressure?

The first action would be to not take it personal….Not easy to do but you can practice it. If you can use the self-doubt to neutrally question something, it´s a creative action. If you take it personal and it turns into anxiety it becomes self-defeating, painful and paralyzing.

Talk about your self-doubt with a trusted friend and take it out of your head into the open that helps too. Allow it to be there instead of resisting it you will be able to be with it. The good thing is, that it always turns around and some answer or solution will show up.

Patience and Trust are required.  Yes it´s no fun, but just looking at it from a different view point will make it easier to bear. The worst you can do is get into harmful action, which will not solve anything but make it worse. The key is not to act, not to suppress, but allow it to be there. Self-doubt is part of the logical mind and good for something, like scientific research and questioning, but not so good to answer your own life questions.

It wants to ask questions, try to ask curious, playful questions like:

  • I wonder what will happen if
  • I wonder what this feeling is good for,
  • I wonder where I will find the answer to this
  • I wonder if this will work

 

Next time when you get attacked by self-doubt, try this strategy and see how it goes. I use this practice all the time and it really helps. You just need a good dose of mindfulness to be aware of what’s going on in your mind. There is no certainty and if you can be with not knowing the answers, your life will blossom and catapult you into the zone of wonders..

                                   

Happy practicing and if you want to share some tips about self-doubt please share your comment with us.

 

 

How to Grow Up When Over 50

how to grow up when over 50

How to grow up when over 50

Hello my friends, it took me a long time to write this post as I spent some time traveling. But here it is…. you might wonder about this strange title….

Normally people at 50 and over should be grown up… But guess what… there are many occasions when that is not the case, actually I would say that most “normal people “are emotionally immature, which is another way to say not grown up.

I know because it´s part of my story… So… why is that? I constantly meet new people in 12 step programs, personal development seminars, meditation courses and other events and places where people might go when they are not happy with themselves and or others.

Naturally there are many middle aged and older human beings over 50,  who think of themselves as the eternal victims, children that have been harmed and adults that have been wronged. Yes, yes and mostly that is the truth…. but the problem is that if you always thinking of yourself as a victim, you are not willing to take responsibility for your own life and that is painful.

Through my own experience of feeling like a victim and you guessed right: I was around 50. That´s when I was ready to learn that I can only grow up and be content and fulfilled when I am willing to take responsibility for my life and stop complaining and blaming….ouch.

Blaming others for my misery and unhappyness, instead of leaving a situation that was not healthy for me, taking my life into my own hands and just moving on to pursue the things I was interested in.

Finally it happened and guess what, I was 50 and it was very hard. There might have been a softer way to do it, but the way I did it was very painful.

So painful that my therapist at the time begged me to go on antidepressants, because he was afraid I would harm myself…. Well for whatever reason, I needed to go through this pain and  eventually got out of the dark into the light.

I totally changed my life, took up a new career that I loved, changed my environment. After a while I let go of toxic people whenever I could and limited contact with negative people as much as possible.

I still chose to have contact with some… like close family members, but in a detached way, accepting them the way they are and not expecting them to change.

It´s a process of letting go, accepting, learning and it feels good that way. I felt like the victim most of my life, but eventually when I understood that it´s not good for me.

The way I saw the world was different and oh my god it changed my life. Whenever I don´t like what others say or do, I always ask myself why it upsets me and normally I do the same thing myself.

So if you read this article and you feel like a victim, maybe try and accept things for what they are and find out what steps you can take to do things that are good for you. Look at your environment…

  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • Who is making you feel good?
  • Who is making you feel bad?
  • What´s a mess in your life?
  • What are you constantly complaining about?
  • What can you change?

The answers to all these questions will give you clues about your life. First you start with accepting the fact that it is whatever it is. Which does not mean you give up, it means that you accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. In order to do this you have to get quiet enough that you can actually tell the difference try a simple meditation practice that will help you.

The next step is to find simple solutions to start eliminating the energy drains and messes from your life. Sometimes it´s hard to do this, it hurts people when you don´t want to spend time with them, but it will be worth it. If people drain your energy, limit exposure. Life is always changing and nothing will ever be the same.

Human beings have a hard time to accept this and want the opposite, to stay in their comfort zone and keep everything the same, but it´s actually outside of your comfort zone where a fulfilling life begins.

I would like to invite you to try it, move out of your comfort-zone into a new adventure, be willing to experiment, be grateful for whatever reasons you can find to be grateful for, it´s a simple practice that can change your energy in a second.

Oh and one more thing…observe your thinking and whenever you catch yourself thinking in a negative or mean way, just drop it and replace it with something that feels good.

Are you willing to try? I love to read your comments, please let me know your thoughts and how YOU take responsibility for your life, how do YOU change your energy?