How Coaching Can Help In Your Life

Empowerment quote

 

 

How Coaching Can Help In Your Life

"We cannot teach people anything. We can only help them discover it within themselves. "    Galileo Galileo

 

Do you sometimes feel totally overwhelmed by too many things to do, or one thing that's too big to tackle?
Is it so bad that you rather look the other way and not do it?
Are there some things you would like to do in your life,  but you have no clue where to start?Description: http://maritas.uibcsites.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif

  • Set up a business, online or offline,
  • Change careers,
  • Improve relationships,
  • Find fun ways to fulfill your life
  • Balance you life
  • Live a healthier lifestyle
  • Become more organized
  • Be more playful

Would you like to make certain changes in your life, but you feel it's too daunting without support?

If you answered yes you might want to look into the possibility of working with a coach. Just in case you have never worked with a coach, let's explore what it means and how it can help.

There are many different models and methodologies of coaching. Some may be designed to facilitate thinking or learning new behavior for personal growth or professional advancement. There are also forms of coaching that help the client improve a physical skill, like in a sport or performing art form. Some coaches use a style in which they ask "open ended questions" and offer opportunities that will challenge the client to find answers from within him/herself. This process facilitates the learner to discover answers and new ways of being based on their values, preferences and unique perspective.

Coaching is very effective and empowering to individuals who are absolutely ready to achieve results and goals in life and  to pursue their dreams .

What coaching is not:

Coaching is not therapy.  It does not focus on your past, or healing symptoms, such as  of anxiety or depression. A coach assumes that the client is mentally healthy and able to work with the coach to develop strategies based on the client’s values and goals.

Coaching is not consulting.  Unlike a consultant, who is hired to provide the answers, the coaches role is not to know all the answers and solve all of the client’s problems. The coach will frequently challenge the client to take action toward their goals, but does not” tell the client what to do”.

Coaching is not friendship. While relationship is vital to all of us, coaching differs in that the focus is focused  on the client and what will give them maximum benefit.

I hope I answered some of your questions in regard to coaching, if you would like to try it, contact me and I will set up an exploratory coaching session, at not cost.

 

 

 

How To Be Sane In An Unsane World

lets-play_bHow To Be Sane In An Unsane World

Unfortunately, there is very little we can do about the state of the world, but there is a lot we can do about our attitude. If we practice to be more sane, more patient, more authentic, happier, healthier etc. it would make a huge difference for the people around us and it will help to create a better world.

Remember what Gandhi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” It’s that simple and yet so hard. This story had a great impact on me: Gandhi was approached by a mother who told him her son was addicted to sugar and she wanted him to stop. She asked Gandhi what to do.

Gandhi said to come back in 3 weeks. The women did not understand and asked him why he wanted her to come back in 3 weeks. He answered: I like to eat sweets myself, so in order to give advice, I have to stop eating sweets myself.” Great story!

Why is it so hard to change?

We have no energy, we feel unhappy, we are resentful, but we still do not want to change. We think about it, talk about it, but that might be it, going around and around in circles.

  • New feels uncomfortable
  • It is scary
  • We don’t want to do it
  • People around us do not want us to change

Enough of the problem, now what is the solution?

One solution is to engage in things that make you feel good, take some time out every week and make a date with yourself to do something fun and have pure playtime. We can learn to detach with love from people in our environment who are whiners, complainers and “crazy makers”. I love the book the “Artist Way.”  Julia Cameron, the author dedicated a whole chapter to the “crazy makers” in our lives: the children, the parents, the husbands, the friends, the extended family members, the bosses, colleagues.

The people who suck your energy and make you feel bad, for whatever reason. But you can learn how to respond to them. You don’t have to give them what they want, you have a choice to say no and they actually feel better too if you keep up your boundaries, although they might not admit this. Everybody deserves sanity, peace and happiness.

One way to do it is by being aware and always giving yourself the space to ask:

Is this really what I want to do right now?

It will give you power and you will feel good about yourself if you try and respond from a place of detachment. Practice it for a week and see how it goes, get a journal and keep track of your reactions, it’s fun and it will help you feel sane :-)

Simple Tips To Be More Confident

Celebrate

Simple Tips To Be More Confident

 

In order to be self- fulfilled, successful and empowered we need to be confident.

It is very interesting how we neglect being confident. It starts by forgetting our successes, even the big ones. How can that happen that we just remember the challenges and failures? It's self-sabotage, it's crazy, but we still do it, because it is unconscious. Can you relate to this?

As a life coach I notice this phenomenon all the time and I remind clients and friends whenever I can that they set simple reminders to celebrate successes.

 

Below are 7 simple tips to do this.

  • Buy yourself a notebook
  • Set daily reminders on your phone
  • Set a few minutes aside in the evening and write down what you accomplished
  • Celebrate and give yourself a little treat
  • Do this every day until it is a habit
  • Make a "confident you" vision board
  • write some cards with simple affirmations and say them out loud.

A universal rule is that everything you do for 21 days will turn into a habit. After 21 days it will be on "automatic pilot". Do you like the idea? Think about it! All the negative habits can be substituted by positive ones and after a while it will be automatic, how great is that!

Confidence is developed in childhood. If you had supportive people around, who always celebrated your little or big successes, you probably feel very confident, believe in yourself and trust that you can achieve your life dreams. Congratulations to you!

Unfortunately for most of us this is not the case, but the good news is that it can be learned and practiced by doing some very simple things.

  • be aware of your thoughts
  • be aware of your reactions
  • be aware of your feelings

Celebrate2

 

Meditation for example is very helpful to improve awareness and it will give you the moment you need in order to choose. Do you want to react and how do you want to react to something.

Insight meditation is very easy to do, you pretty much just sit and watch your breath for a few minutes. No you do not have to sit for 30 minutes, even 5 to 10 minutes done every day will change your life, I promise!

In order to manifest and be successful, it is essential to be confident, so try to get into the habit of celebration. Keep a little notebook about your successes and establish a simple meditation practice. Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think, if you have additional ideas please share them. πŸ™‚

 

Empower Your Life By Letting Go – But How Do We Let Go?

letgo

 

"Empower Your Life By Letting Go – But How Do We Let Go?"

In personal development and twelve step programs, letting go is one of the main principles to help us get unstuck. It's very simple but very hard to understand what to do. Our intellect does not like it and screams πŸ™‚ "Oh no I don't want to let go"

Thoughts and feelings can be pleasant, but we all have experienced thoughts and feelings that cause us unhappiness or stress. If we let go we empower our life and make room to achieve our life goals and dreams.

Stress can often trigger have a million and one things happening at once and a chattering mind is one of the last things you need. Therefore, it’s very important to be able to spend some time to relax, put things in context and to let go.

When you notice your mind chattering away in the background, focus on it and recognize that there is a thought chain happening – often significant parts of the mind aren't actually aware of what's happening, as its just part of the background.

You can say "I am currently feeling this" or "I am thinking of such and such" This can help focus the mind on what’s happening so it doesn't go off to the next thing. Quite often the thoughts stop just by focusing on them because they are suddenly exposed to your awareness. This might be hard at the beginning but will get easier with practice, it is called mindfulness, a is a simple meditation practice.

Below is a very simple and effective method that can help letting go, explore why we hold onto thoughts and feelings in the first place and some more tips to add to your toolbox. It is called the Sedona Method and was developed by Hale Dwoskin

Make yourself comfortable and focus inwardly. Your eyes may be open or closed.

Step 1: Focus on an issue that you would like to feel better about, and then allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment. This doesn’t have to be a strong feeling. In fact, you can even check on how you feel about this exercise and what you want to get from it. Just welcome the feeling and allow it to be as fully or as best you can.

This instruction may seem simplistic, but it needs to be. Most of us live in our thoughts, pictures, and stories about the past and the future, rather than being aware of how we actually feel in this moment. The only time that we can actually do anything about the way we feel (and, for that matter, about our businesses or our lives) is NOW. You don’t need to wait for a feeling to be strong before you let it go. In fact, if you are feeling numb, flat, blank, cut off, or empty inside, those are feelings that can be let go of just as easily as the more recognizable ones. Simply do the best you can. The more you work with this process, the easier it will be for you to identify what you are feeling.

Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following three questions:

• Could I let this feeling go?

• Could I allow this feeling to be here?

• Could I welcome this feeling?

These questions are merely asking you if it is possible to take this action. “Yes” or “no” are both acceptable answers. You will often let go even if you say “no.” As best you can, answer the question that you choose with a minimum of thought, staying away from second-guessing yourself or getting into an internal debate about the merits of that action or its consequences.

All the questions used in this process are deliberately simple. They are not important in and of themselves but are designed to point you to the experience of letting go, to the experience of stopping holding on. Go on to Step 3 no matter how you answered the first question.

Step 3: No matter which question you started with, ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?

Again, stay away from debate as best you can. Also remember that you are always doing this process for yourself—for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. It doesn’t matter whether the feeling is justified, long-standing, or right.

If the answer is “no,” or if you are not sure, ask yourself: “Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?”

Even if the answer is still “no,” go on to Step 4.

Step 4: Ask yourself this simpler question: When?

This is an invitation to just let it go NOW. You may find yourself easily letting go. Remember that letting go is a decision you can make any time you choose.

Step 5: Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.

You will probably find yourself letting go a little more on each step of the process. The results at first may be quite subtle. Very quickly, if you are persistent, the results will get more and more noticeable. You may find that you have layers of feelings about a particular topic. However, what you let go of is gone for good.

You might want to repeat this process if you still feel attached to whatever you wanted to let go of and just have fun with it. Be curious about the attachment that is still present, spirit loves curiosity!

 

What to Do When Life Gets Challenging

three-choices-in-life

Sometimes everything goes wrong, people leave us, appliances break down, cars break down, accidents happen, people don't do what you want them to do….. and on it goes.

One way would be to run away, (or we could) but that would not work. So what can be done? A change of attitude can make a huge difference and it will empower your life.Description: http://maritas.uibcsites.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif

For example you cannot change the fact that something broke, but you can let go of being upset about it and focus on the solution: What can you do to fix it, yes it might cost money, it might cost time, but nothing changes the fact that it is broken, it is what it is. The sooner you stop focusing on the problem the faster you will feel better. It's a change in attitude that will make the difference.

Do you know people who keep obsessing about "the problem" for a long time? They talk about it to everybody they know and the energy gets bigger and bigger and the problem too. It totally depletes the energy reserves.

One way to stop it is to become aware of the fact and just stop and breathe in and out, it will shift the energy instantly. Sure it takes some practice to get there, but especially with a regular meditation practice it will become a habit very soon, if that is what you want.

Some  tips that will help you

  • Focus on what is working
  • Nurture yourself
  • Be grateful for what you have
  • Don't give up

These are simple things to do and they will help you to feel better. Create some simple cards with positive words to remind you of good things and remember this too shall pass. It always does, you just have to go with the flow and do the best you can. One other thing that works great is to set reminders on your phone with positive messages a few times a day, they will make you smile. It's also a great time to make a vision board, which will help you focus on what you want and empower your life.

Try some of these tips and let me know how they work:-)

 

What To Do When Life Gets Chaotic And Stressful

Albert Einstein said it so well: “chaos proceeds order.”

chaos (1)Chaos: In this life, you have free will and you can make your own choices. You walk on the path established by your spiritual “blue print”. But like all creation, once you’re “playing” in life, situations present themselves that require choices. Your free will and choice are the chaos in your life. We only hope that we make the best choices and decisions for the evolution of our soul and spiritual growth.

These might be big words and if you choose to believe this theory great and if not it’s great too, it’s up to you.

Life can get pretty crazy sometimes especially when unexpected upsetting things are happening. Sometimes it feels like these periods do not end. It’s like a series of messes, upsets and often they include accidents and illnesses.

Do we know why? No we do not, but it’s important when you feel that chaos is coming, to step on the break and calm down. Meditate, do yoga, take care of yourself in whatever way you can, say prayers, mantras and affirmation. Talk kindly to yourself, listen to inspiring soothing music and audios, read happy books and most of all slow down, do not run, do not get stressed out and remember to breathe in and to breathe out. Always go back to your breath.

Stay away from non-supportive people and be as much in a positive supportive circle of friends as you can. It is essential to find balance within yourself, so you have to do whatever it takes to get yourself into a peaceful state.

Do it as long as the chaos lasts, it will be followed by something calmer if you learn to ride the stormy waves and remember that the sun always comes out again. We need these chaotic times to grow.  That’s a good way to look at it, it’s more empowering than feeling like a victim.

There is actually another universal law: The law of Catastrophe: Also referred to as the stage of drama/trauma. This is an absolute necessity for the evolutionary process, when the seed cracks and growth is permitted to begin. This occurs in the human experience, and in nature.

What do you do to keep your calm when life is stormy?

Bring More Creativity And Play Into Your Life

Why is it important to play?

Our spirit loves to play and if we want to be guided and listen to our intuition, we need to be more playful. Unfortunately we were not taught to play, we learned to memorize and do as we were taught, we might even think of play as “frivolous”.
The other reason is: life is more fun. To be playful is to be creative, to be innovative, to be more adventurous, to be present, to be in the zone, to enjoy life to the fullest.

Routine is a killer to creativity and unfortunately most of us are run by our routines. I would even say that everything beyond the routine is outside of our comfort zone and feels kind of scary.

But with a little bit of awareness we can move beyond the discomfort and try something new. Why not finally take this new dance class, Italian cooking, or maybe go to a meet up group and get together with some new people who share the same interests. You will be surprised how good it feels.

Every time I do something beyond the routine.  I just want to jump around and sing, that’s how good it feels.  I like to go to the hots springs for a few days, or even simple little things, like going to a museum, a bookstore or a new coffee shop can be refreshing.

Local colleges are a great source of inspiration, they offer so many great classes, there is something for everybody. Sports, Art, culture, spirituality, you name it, they will offer something for you.

Do yourself a favor play more, and inspire people around you to do the same.

Watch this great video by Steve Keil: A Manifesto for Play

How to Live Your Best Life!

How to Live Your Best Life!

“Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit. Do something that makes you feel insecure”. Piero Ferrucci

miracleseI know that there are lots of ways to live your best life. But I am talking about a life of purpose, a fulfilled life, a fun life, an exciting life, a magical life, a prosperous life, a life full of love.

First of all I like to say that unfortunately we do not learn this at home, in school or anywhere. I can only say:  Blessings to the people who grew up with wisdom.  Instead most of us learned how to fit in, how to memorize, how to endure, how to suffer, how to be small, how to be good. Yes this sounds frustrating and some might say: what’s the use? This is the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it.

Well the first step is to accept this fact and to do something different. The miracle is simple, you learn how to be aware of your patterns and step by step you practice to change your attitude about them. Yes, it is possible, we are not our patterns, we have incredible potential that is hidden inside of us, just waiting to be unleashed. Wow, what thoughts come up when you hear this?

  • Fear
  • Disbelief
  • Anger
  • Curiosity

Depending on what comes up for you, it will be clear if you accept the fact that you are the creator of your life, or you are not ready to accept it. Accepting it comes with a huge responsibility and not everybody is ready for it. Wherever you are is just fine. If you are curious: I can only say congratulation!!! you are ready for step 2. So what can we do to change our attitudes and behavior?

  • Awareness
  • Mindfulness
  • Give yourself some time before you react
  • Consciously choose to do something different
  • Celebrate each success, no matter how small.
  • Have you heard the phrase: Your mind is a terrible master, but a great servant? Learn how to play in life, how to take every game in your life as an opportunity to grow;
  • Bring creativity into every aspect of your life,
  • Start a simple meditation practice,
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Unclutter your mind and your space.
  • Do something new
  • Be grateful for your life.

If you do these simple things repeatedly, you will change your life step by step. Let me know how it’s going, I love to hear your stories. Leave a comment at the end of the post.