fulfillment Archives - MaritaSteffe.com

The Power Of Vulnerability

The Power Of Vulnerability

My friend and meditation teacher Claudia, sent me the link to this video. What a beautiful story and so well presented by Brene Brown, I just love it. I also decided to write less and offer you more thought provoking videos to have more fun…………..

Do YOU like the idea?

Researcher and storyteller Brene Brown is telling a story about vulnerability and how it affects the quality of our lives, she has a great sense of humor too……. I hate to say it but most scientists are not so funny……… but more dry………ooops that was a judgement. I would like to use less judgment in my life, which is easier said than done, but I am aware of it, that's the first step. It's all a process 🙂

So what is vulnerability and how do we deal with it?

Most of us do not want to have anything to do with our own vulnerability or other people’s vulnerability, or better said we run the other way when we are confronted with it.……….

But the sad truth is, that the more we are denying our vulnerability the more we deny other qualities, like aliveness, creativity, joy and self-expression.

We all want to belong, to be loved and to be connected to others. We are trained to perform, to hide our feeling, to be strong to pretend we are perfect, to know it all, to never ask for help, sounds familiar?

So what do people do in order to not feel these feelings?

For example: eat, drink alcohol, take drugs, shop, work, rage, try to be perfect, complain, gamble, sex……….of course I'm talking about excessive behavior, yes all this numbs the stuff we don’t want, but also all the good feelings that make life worth living.

So what do we want?

To be loved
To be seen
To be heard
To be enough
To be accepted the way we are
To express our selves

Yes, it's that simple. If you can think of anything else let me know, I will stop now and let you enjoy the video 🙂

Are YOU ready to dive into a great new life? This might be start 🙂

How To Empower Your Life With Creativity

How To Empower Your Life With Creativity

Creativity is not about intelligence or information. It's about inspiration, from the Latin word "spiritus", meaning "breath, courage, the soul." Creativity is about being fully alive, living courageously, or as the painter Joan Miro´ says, "Expressing with precision all the gold sparks the soul gives off." When was the last time you felt fully alive? What is it that triggers your courage and challenges your fear of sharing your soul? Knowing this is the key to discovering the creativity that is waiting to be expressed through you.Expressing your creativity, your true self, is one simple way to empowe your life.

When people ask you if you are creative, do you say: No I’m not creative at all.

I can't draw
I can’t paint
I don’t have it

If so, you're not alone. Many people think that creativity has been gifted to some selected few. If they can't paint like Van Gough, sing like Maria Callas, sculpt like Rodin, write like Simone De Beauvoir, they don't dare claim to be creative. It feels like an arrogant thing to say about yourself. If you are not an expert, or not making a living from your creations it feels like a sin to say you are creative.

But creativity is our very birthright, our gift. Why, when we're asked to think of someone creative, do we rarely think of ourselves, but of famous people, that have defined creativity over the years? We think of Picasso, Mozart, Diebenkorn, Matisse and their likes, when the real truth is that every one of us is a born creator. It’s the gift we bring to the world: the ability to create, to turn something invisible into something visible, to create something out of nothing and to fully express ourselves.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book: “Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention”, says that creativity doesn't happen in our heads but in the interaction between our imagination and our social context. It's a matter of experience and response, a matter of relationship to others and a commentary on the significance of our encounters.

Creativity is the vivid expression of who we are in the world

our imagination creates our thoughts
our thoughts create our words
our words create our actions
our actions create our experience
our collective experience and expression create our culture

Each of us is contributing part to the creation of the cultures we participate in. The world is not divided into two groups of the creative and the uncreative. If there's a distinction, it's between those who are creatively productive and those with unexpressed potential. People who do not express their creativity are not happy campers, they are the ones who feel unfulfilled, bored and resentful. We are creative by nature aand need to find a way to live it.

Each of us, to varying degrees is unconsciously motivated to create, to be original and to solve challenging problems. The question to ask is not, "Am I creative?" But rather: "What inspires me to create?"

Creativity can be expressed in simple ways. It can be how we dress, how we communicate, how we interact, how we move, how we solve problems. It can be expressed in cooking, or dancing, in decorating our homes and many other simple pleasures. There are unlimited ways to express creativity. It’s having fun in life, it’s laughing, it’s all the good stuff.

What about you? Do you not allow yourself creativity and time to play? Do you say: I will do it when I have time, first I have to practice, go to school. I will do it when I’m not so stressed out or maybe when I’m retired……….Does this sound familiar to you. If it does please reconsider and try to do the things you love to do, it will lift your spirit:-)

Please leave a comment with you thoughts and I hope this inspired you to find your creativity.

Why It’s Sometimes Good To Go Through Big Life Changes

Why It's Sometimes Good To Go Through Big Life Changes

Did you ever go through big life changes and came out with a much better life?

Sometimes we do not want to make changes, although we are miserable in a situation. Why do we want to hang on to a relation ship that makes us unhappy, or a career we hate? We all know it's crazy, so what is it?

Fear of change
Fear of the unknown

Those 2 are normally the main reasons why we stay in miserable, sometimes abusive situations. I myself stayed in a bad marriage for 32 years and if it wouldn't have gotten absolutely crazy I probably would still be in there, miserable, unfulfilled, unhappy, depressed and resentful. I can only say: thank you universe 🙂

I did not say this when I went through the worst, at first I was angry and resentful, actually it was so bad that I wanted my husband to die. So I could stay in the house I loved and hang on to the things that were precious to me. Yes it was not pretty and I was not nice.

Now for the first time in my life I am doing the things I love to do, I love what I do , I love who I am and I am full of possibility for my life.

If you feel like you are not living the life you want to live, get out and do it. We have only one life and it's too precious to be wasted on people who do not love us, or things we do not want to do.

I believe that if we fully express ourselves we will find happiness, if we try to fit into the box this might not be the case.

So dare to be you and if you are in a situation like this remember that the changes are hard and life might be challenging for a while. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it, I've been there.

Sadly we are programmed to always look for security and I believe that if we are ruled by security, the reward will be a dull life.

Below is my favorite quote, it says it all!

“Come to the edge.' 'We can't. We're afraid.' 'Come to the edge.' 'We can't. We will fall!' 'Come to the edge.' And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew.” Guillaume Apollinaire

What's your story about a Big Life Change ? Please leave a comment

Believe In Your Potential

Believe In Your Potential

I love this quote by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

So what exactly does this mean and how can you believe in your potential?

For the people who are familiar with the law of attraction and spirituality this is easy to understand. For all others it might not make any sense. So if it does not make sense to you, don't worry, it's hard to understand and it might take some time, it's ok.

Continue reading “Believe In Your Potential”

How Coaching Can Help In Your Life

How Coaching Can Help In Your Life

"We cannot teach people anything. We can only help them discover it within themselves. " Galileo Galileo

Do you sometimes feel totally overwhelmed by too many things to do, or one thing that's too big to tackle?
Is it so bad that you rather look the other way and not do it?
Are there some things you would like to do in your life, but you have no clue where to start?

Set up a business, online or offline,
Change careers,
Improve relationships,
Find fun ways to fulfill your life
Balance you life
Live a healthier lifestyle
Become more organized
Be more playful

Would you like to make certain changes in your life, but you feel it's too daunting without support?

If you answered yes you might want to look into the possibility of working with a coach. Just in case you have never worked with a coach, let's explore what it means and how it can help.

There are many different models and methodologies of coaching. Some may be designed to facilitate thinking or learning new behavior for personal growth or professional advancement. There are also forms of coaching that help the client improve a physical skill, like in a sport or performing art form. Some coaches use a style in which they ask "open ended questions" and offer opportunities that will challenge the client to find answers from within him/herself. This process facilitates the learner to discover answers and new ways of being based on their values, preferences and unique perspective.

Coaching is very effective and empowering to individuals who are absolutely ready to achieve results and goals in life and to pursue their dreams .

What coaching is not:

Coaching is not therapy. It does not focus on your past, or healing symptoms, such as of anxiety or depression. A coach assumes that the client is mentally healthy and able to work with the coach to develop strategies based on the client’s values and goals.

Coaching is not consulting. Unlike a consultant, who is hired to provide the answers, the coaches role is not to know all the answers and solve all of the client’s problems. The coach will frequently challenge the client to take action toward their goals, but does not” tell the client what to do”.

Coaching is not friendship. While relationship is vital to all of us, coaching differs in that the focus is focused on the client and what will give them maximum benefit.

I hope I answered some of your questions in regard to coaching, if you would like to try it, contact me and I will set up an exploratory coaching session, at not cost.

Empower Your Life By Letting Go – But How Do We Let Go?

letgo

"Empower Your Life By Letting Go – But How Do We Let Go?"

In personal development and twelve step programs, letting go is one of the main principles to help us get unstuck. It's very simple but very hard to understand what to do. Our intellect does not like it and screams 🙂 "Oh no I don't want to let go"

Thoughts and feelings can be pleasant, but we all have experienced thoughts and feelings that cause us unhappiness or stress. If we let go we empower our life and make room to achieve our life goals and dreams.

Stress can often trigger have a million and one things happening at once and a chattering mind is one of the last things you need. Therefore, it’s very important to be able to spend some time to relax, put things in context and to let go.

When you notice your mind chattering away in the background, focus on it and recognize that there is a thought chain happening – often significant parts of the mind aren't actually aware of what's happening, as its just part of the background.

You can say "I am currently feeling this" or "I am thinking of such and such" This can help focus the mind on what’s happening so it doesn't go off to the next thing. Quite often the thoughts stop just by focusing on them because they are suddenly exposed to your awareness. This might be hard at the beginning but will get easier with practice, it is called mindfulness, a is a simple meditation practice.

Below is a very simple and effective method that can help letting go, explore why we hold onto thoughts and feelings in the first place and some more tips to add to your toolbox. It is called the Sedona Method and was developed by Hale Dwoskin

Make yourself comfortable and focus inwardly. Your eyes may be open or closed.

Step 1: Focus on an issue that you would like to feel better about, and then allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment. This doesn’t have to be a strong feeling. In fact, you can even check on how you feel about this exercise and what you want to get from it. Just welcome the feeling and allow it to be as fully or as best you can.

This instruction may seem simplistic, but it needs to be. Most of us live in our thoughts, pictures, and stories about the past and the future, rather than being aware of how we actually feel in this moment. The only time that we can actually do anything about the way we feel (and, for that matter, about our businesses or our lives) is NOW. You don’t need to wait for a feeling to be strong before you let it go. In fact, if you are feeling numb, flat, blank, cut off, or empty inside, those are feelings that can be let go of just as easily as the more recognizable ones. Simply do the best you can. The more you work with this process, the easier it will be for you to identify what you are feeling.

Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following three questions:

• Could I let this feeling go?

• Could I allow this feeling to be here?

• Could I welcome this feeling?

These questions are merely asking you if it is possible to take this action. “Yes” or “no” are both acceptable answers. You will often let go even if you say “no.” As best you can, answer the question that you choose with a minimum of thought, staying away from second-guessing yourself or getting into an internal debate about the merits of that action or its consequences.

All the questions used in this process are deliberately simple. They are not important in and of themselves but are designed to point you to the experience of letting go, to the experience of stopping holding on. Go on to Step 3 no matter how you answered the first question.

Step 3: No matter which question you started with, ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?

Again, stay away from debate as best you can. Also remember that you are always doing this process for yourself—for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. It doesn’t matter whether the feeling is justified, long-standing, or right.

If the answer is “no,” or if you are not sure, ask yourself: “Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?”

Even if the answer is still “no,” go on to Step 4.

Step 4: Ask yourself this simpler question: When?

This is an invitation to just let it go NOW. You may find yourself easily letting go. Remember that letting go is a decision you can make any time you choose.

Step 5: Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.

You will probably find yourself letting go a little more on each step of the process. The results at first may be quite subtle. Very quickly, if you are persistent, the results will get more and more noticeable. You may find that you have layers of feelings about a particular topic. However, what you let go of is gone for good.

You might want to repeat this process if you still feel attached to whatever you wanted to let go of and just have fun with it. Be curious about the attachment that is still present, spirit loves curiosity!

Bring More Creativity And Play Into Your Life

Why is it important to play?

Our spirit loves to play and if we want to be guided and listen to our intuition, we need to be more playful. Unfortunately we were not taught to play, we learned to memorize and do as we were taught, we might even think of play as “frivolous”.
The other reason is: life is more fun. To be playful is to be creative, to be innovative, to be more adventurous, to be present, to be in the zone, to enjoy life to the fullest.

Routine is a killer to creativity and unfortunately most of us are run by our routines. I would even say that everything beyond the routine is outside of our comfort zone and feels kind of scary.

But with a little bit of awareness we can move beyond the discomfort and try something new. Why not finally take this new dance class, Italian cooking, or maybe go to a meet up group and get together with some new people who share the same interests. You will be surprised how good it feels.

Every time I do something beyond the routine. I just want to jump around and sing, that’s how good it feels. I like to go to the hots springs for a few days, or even simple little things, like going to a museum, a bookstore or a new coffee shop can be refreshing.

Local colleges are a great source of inspiration, they offer so many great classes, there is something for everybody. Sports, Art, culture, spirituality, you name it, they will offer something for you.

Do yourself a favor play more, and inspire people around you to do the same.

Watch this great video by Steve Keil: A Manifesto for Play

How to Live Your Best Life!

“Eliminate something superfluous from your life. Break a habit. Do something that makes you feel insecure”. Piero Ferrucci

I know that there are lots of ways to live your best life. But I am talking about a life of purpose, a fulfilled life, a fun life, an exciting life, a magical life, a prosperous life, a life full of love.

First of all I like to say that unfortunately we do not learn this at home, in school or anywhere. I can only say: Blessings to the people who grew up with wisdom. Instead most of us learned how to fit in, how to memorize, how to endure, how to suffer, how to be small, how to be good. Yes this sounds frustrating and some might say: what’s the use? This is the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it.

Well the first step is to accept this fact and to do something different. The miracle is simple, you learn how to be aware of your patterns and step by step you practice to change your attitude about them. Yes, it is possible, we are not our patterns, we have incredible potential that is hidden inside of us, just waiting to be unleashed. Wow, what thoughts come up when you hear this?

Fear
Disbelief
Anger
Curiosity

Depending on what comes up for you, it will be clear if you accept the fact that you are the creator of your life, or you are not ready to accept it. Accepting it comes with a huge responsibility and not everybody is ready for it. Wherever you are is just fine. If you are curious: I can only say congratulation!!! you are ready for step 2. So what can we do to change our attitudes and behavior?

Awareness
Mindfulness
Give yourself some time before you react
Consciously choose to do something different
Celebrate each success, no matter how small.
Have you heard the phrase: Your mind is a terrible master, but a great servant? Learn how to play in life, how to take every game in your life as an opportunity to grow;
Bring creativity into every aspect of your life,
Start a simple meditation practice,
Surround yourself with positive people
Unclutter your mind and your space.
Do something new
Be grateful for your life.

If you do these simple things repeatedly, you will change your life step by step. Let me know how it’s going, I love to hear your stories. Leave a comment at the end of the post.