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Simple Tips to Create More Visibility

Simple Tips to Create More Visibility

I hope you enjoyed a wonderful, happy summer with family and friends….. It's the beginning of September and a wet day in Germany. The rain is welcome after many, many hot weeks. Thursty trees and plants are soaking up the water and so am I. Are you ready for fall?

Ok, now lets talk about creating visibility for your business. I will share some of my strategies with you, which are easy enough for beginners or people who like to keep it to the basics.

Creating visibility online
Going out and meeting people

Today we will cover online visibility

Most of us know how to do it… many actually do it… some desire to do it… some talk about doing it… some never do it 🙂

Creating visibility online can be easy, but it’s good to have a simple strategy to get better results: how to effectively create visibility.

Writing posts and articles
Posting on social media
Creating videos

Writing blog posts and articles is a great way to share your expertise with others and get your tribe, (ideal customer) interested in your service or product. It’s very simple…. especially if you like to write. Before you start you should know a few things about your customer.

Who is your customer?
Where to find them online?
What is their problem?

Do your research by asking people, doing surveys and talking to experts… for example a social media or a business coach. …After you collect your information, write a blogpost about a subject that will help your customer with their problem.

Easy isn’t it? Let me give you a simple example: Let’s say you want to help people with their communication: your customer might be people who have “bad” communication skills, the solution to the problem could be a blog post or an article: How to learn effective ways to have better communication with your customers. The result for them would be a more peaceful life and happy customers, yippeeeee.

This is a very simple example, but I hope it makes it easy to understand. Now the next step is to post it. If you don’t have your own blog you can post it on other people’s blogs or on Ezine. If you are on LinkedIn you can use their publishing platform, which will be great for visibility.

Two more things before I forget: If you plan to post it on several platforms, make sure to change the title and some of the text. Google does not like exactly the same content posted on different sites.

Just in case you suffer from “perfectionism” and want to make sure that your spelling is right; find a professional editor on Fiverr, where everything costs $5, or Elance. Outsourcing some tasks is a great way to get help and get things done.

Creating simple, fun videos

This is one of my favorites. You can create simple videos by sharing information that relates to your business. In my case it’s anything that relates to coaching, or to help people live more successful, fulfilled, happy and balanced lives.

You can use your phone, or a simple HD flip camera, a tripod, and a simple editing program called moviemaker. Moviemaker is a free movie editing program that comes with windows. It’s very easy to use. I am not a technical geek, so when I say easy….. it’s easy.

Some of you might need extra hand holding, just look into a schedule at your local college or find a student who can help you until you feel more comfortable. After you created your video you have to upload your videos to youtube, or another hosting platform. When your done with it, post links to them on social media and embed the video on your blog.

Simple strategies to be visible on social media

Ok, now it can get a bit confusing, I will share some of my favorite sites and strategies with you. No matter what you use, start with creating an appealing profile, to tell people about who you are and what you do.

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Pinterest

In order to be effective on social media you have to use a strategy and post things that are of interest to your audience. Do not post: Buy my new product, look at me, I know this, I want to sell you this… click here… download this….. it does not work

I will just tell you about the most basic strategies I use. For more detailed knowledge check with an expert. All of them offer free training videos. I like Wendy McClelland and Amy Porterfield, Kim Garst, but there are man more.

Think about what inspires you and post things that inspire you and your audience or tribe. Something that will help them with their problem. Be social, be interested in others, connect and respond, be human, be fun, be kind, be creative. Make it about them, care about them.

Facebook is one of the most popular social media sites. People share other people’s posts and write some words to add a personal touch. You can like other people’s posts and maybe leave a nice comment. Make it personable and positive, nothing worse than people who spill their drama on social media.

If you want more visibility and post business related themes, it's a good idea to create a facebook page to post your business related content. Facebook has instructions on how to set up the page. Spend some time to find interesting videos on youtube, or podcasts, blogposts, audios and post links to them, along with links to your own material.

Once in a while you can share a post from your business page to your personal profile. In order to be more effective I would suggest to create a facebook ad in order to be more visible. Unfortunately facebook is limiting how many people can view your post. Paying for ads or boosted posts will get you more visibility. I will admit here that I have avoided advertising, although many experts say it works very well when done right.

Instagram

Instagram is one of my favorites. If you like to be creative and take pictures it might become your favorite too. It should reflect who you are, your desires, your personality, your creativity, how you express yourself. It took me a while to understand #hashtags, now I love to use them, actually I find it very creative.

They should represent the content of the image and your brand. I use: #dowhatyoulove #outwalking #lifeisgood #becreative #effectivecommunication #lifepurpose #behappy #makeyourlifework #instagood #createyourlife #healthylifestyle. The key is to have fun with it, lot’s of fun. Like with any other other social media, comment back when someone leaves a comment for you and when someone likes your image pay it back and go to their page and like some of theirs.

Pinterest is fun too, great for creative, visual people. First you create boards by themes and then you pin images onto the boards. Some of my boards are related to business with inspiring quotes, one is about vision boards, one is about music I love, one is about creative projects…Many creative ways to express yourself. You can also create a board with inspiration relating to your business and then post links to your blogpost in the text field. Be aware it can be addictive 🙂

Twitter

Twitter, is fast and you can only post 140 characters. Otherwise the strategies are the same. Retweet other people’s posts when you like them, reply to other people, thank them when they retweet your posts. Start conversations and create relationships.

Content ideas to post: inspirational quotes, business tips, links to your or other people’s blog posts, links to free offers, or to videos that you find interesting and which fit into my subject matter.

Hashtags are also a good way to be found by people who are interested in what you have to offer. #healthylifestyle #lifepurpose #businesscoaching #improvecommunication, whatever is relevant to your business. Make it fun, make it supportive, be there for people, be personable. Contact them personally when you see someone needs help, offer them support.

Ps: don’t buy twitter followers or facebook fans it will not help. Grow your followers using simple strategies, like follow your followers and engage in the conversation.

Oh wait ..one last tip to simplify posting on social media and save time is: Hootsuite. A great service to schedule your post on several different media sites from one dashboard. You can schedule your postings for several days. They offer a free and a paid version.

I hope these simple and fun tips to create more visibility in your business will help you. If you have some other suggestions please leave a comment.

Have fun with it alland please leave a comment.

Do More of What You Love to Do

Do More of What You Love to Do

It's a rainy day and I'm sitting in a cafe in Aachen Germany, with a view of the old townhall, dating from 1300. My fingers are tapping rythmicalIy on the keyboard…… I love to write, actually it wasn't always like this……it used to be something that I thought I'm not good at…… I did not enjoy the process and it never crossed my mind that I would actually love to write. All the stuff that my mind would tell me, to keep me from doing the things I love to do 🙂

But you just never know what miracles can happen. Now I'm thinking about writing a book to share my eventful life experiences, a journey from enduring life to loving life. We'll see when that happens….Right now I am fascinated by Human Design and I learned that one of my "superpowers" is to share my experiences. Wouldn't it be great to share this in a book?

The more you do the things you love to do, the more the things you love will come to you.

Meditative dancing is another great way to express yourself. It's not recreational dancing, but a form of moving meditation, which I discovered through a good friend of mine in California. It's called "5 rythm dancing" or "sweat your prayers". Click the link if you would like to find a class in your area, they normally let you try one for free and after that it's $15 per class.

When I tried it the first time, I could not believe how good I felt after the dance. My busy mind was quiet, my body was calm and totally realaxed. I felt like being on a cloud without having taken any substances. I was so moved by the music and spirit that I had tears streaming down my face 🙂

Dancing meditation is: to be moved by the music. The body is the instrument that is being moved, it's a way to get into the body out the mind, to free yourself from thinking, planning, strategizing, future tripping and worrying for a short time. Sometimes when I dance, solutions to problems float into my mind, or I get flashes of creative ideas.

Moving meditation is also self expression at it's finest, it's not about looking good, it's not about taking the right steps, it's not about performing…..It's about "the expression of self" expression of spirit, a prayer in motion…..and also a way to deeply connect with others.

Ok, this might sound a bit too much for the people who are "rational" and don't believe in spiritual practices and believes… By the way this could have been me ten years ago, I was very rational and did not understand the "new age thing, the old hippie thing, the "god thing"….But I changed my mind.

I now live in a mind-space of miracles, when I say miracles…it's the little things in life where the timing is just right. Someone or something appears out of the blue and it helps, inspires or motivates me. Maybe it's the next piece in the puzzle of my life.

For example, I was at a friends house and I had the thought; Marita… walk to the creek… somehow I did not do it….another hour later I had the thought again….Marita walk to the creek. This time I put my shoes on and walked to the creek.

At the turn in the road a man and a dog came up the path…I looked at him, he looked at me and he said…are you Marita? I looked at him perplexed and said yes… are you Tom….he said yes….it was a friend of mine from 40 years ago, before I moved to the states. (By the way I did not use his real name)

If I would have come 2 minutes later or one minute earlier… we would not have met on this path… this is what I call "my little miracles." I don't know, why we met, but I know the timing was so crazy that there must be a good reason.

Maybe I can say something to him, that he needs to hear to open something up for the next step on the journey, maybe it's something I will need to hear……Who knows?

What are your miracles?

Now… you might ask; what's the common denominator between miracles and doing what you love to do. Well for me it works together, the more I do the things I love to do and I can generate the energy of inspiration, the more I experience these kinds of miracles.

I think it's heightened awareness and being in tune with my intuition. Simple Miracles happen all the time, but the question is: are you aware of them?

Make a little experiment and try it for yourself…… Now back to dancing, tonight I will actually go visit a club with disco music, it's not the same spiritual experience, but it's super, fun exercise for me.

I remember that 10 years ago it would have been in agony to think about going to a club alone, just dancing and having a blast. These days I can do it… no problem and I totally enjoy myself.

Doing more of the things I love to do, is changing my life. The energy of blissful enjoyment is attracting more things that I love into my life.

Yeah, that's how the Law of attraction works in my life….

What do you love to do? Please let me know and write a comment…..I love to know 🙂

PS: If you don't know what you love to do….yes it happens and believe me you are not the only one…maybe you would like to try a fun coaching session. My gift to you…to get to know you is your gift to me 🙂 click the contact tab and let me know…

My dance video to give you a little taste

Why Blogging Will Create More Visibility For Your Business

I am so excited to write this post….Now don’t get me wrong, I am not the “Mrs perfect, expert blogger”…..But I’ve been blogging for the last 4 years and know it's powerful. In the process I also discovered writing as a creative outlet, wohoooo how great is that. Before I forget…. please forgive my twisted english and misspells, as it’s not my first language 🙂

Today I'm writing in a coffee shop with a view of the old city hall. The farmers market is set up with lots of stands offering delicious veggies, fruits, fish, meet, chesse and scented flowers. The smell of deep fried fish and spices is in the air….ah, life is good.

Ok now back to blogging…My first blog, which was about vision boards….would show up on page 2 of google after only 3 months, which was a real achievement…Ok, now I would love to share with YOU what I learned and why blogging ins helpful for your business.

Over the last few years I have participated in lots of classes, seminars, mastermind groups and so on, enjoying the chance to connect with many people who desire to have a more global business presence and live their life purpose, doing the work they love to do.

After talking to lots of wonderful human beings…I now have a good picture about the most common problems, when starting and/or growing a business online. So what do you think are the most common problems when starting a business?

Yes you are right, you need to find customers, so you have to be visible and no…they don't come out of the blue, even if that’s what some law of attraction gurus tell you. Believe me I tried this strategy for a long time and it did not work. Unfortunately you need to apply certain actions and strategies to be found… otherwise you will get lost in the jungle of other websites.

Your potential client has no idea that you are out there with your wonderful service or product. As a result you might think that nobody is interested in what you have to offer……but it might just be a problem of being visible.

Just to throw this in as a sidenote: People sometimes don’t do the necessary actions, but are unconscious about the fact that they don’t do them. The result is that they think… their efforts are not working…… This process is unconscious and it’s a mind strategy to keep you safe, within your comfortzone.

Do I hear you say? This is crazy? Yes it is…but it’s true……. Try this experiment, be mindful and watch yourself…. Being aware of it myself and many other coaches I talk to, I actually noticed myself doing this…. I hate to admit… Has this ever happened to you?

When starting or growing a business, one of the most important things you need to do in order to become known and attract customers is to create visibility. Most of you know how to do it for your brick and mortar businesses… Advertise in the yellow pages, gazettes, magazines, word of mouth, go to networking events and the whole shebang. But what about online?

If you follow the online marketing gurus, which I did, they all say: start a blog and write posts….. Oh my… how to set up a blog, write, social media….No clue what to do, so many options, don’t know where to start. I was in total overwhelm.

Yep I know what it feels like, I’ve been there…..When I started I was perplexed, I was not very techie on the computer. I never saw myself as a writer, I never thought I’m good at writing, but I just did what they told me to do and guess what, after I got over the resistance I started to enjoy it 🙂

Now what are the technical benefits? By writing blogposts on a regular basis, Google will think your website is more active. With every indexed page (new blogpost) you add, there is one more chance to show up in the search engines, so it’s a fantastic tool to create organic SEO and drive free traffic to your site.

I will not get into SEO, but websites like hubspot, or other experts will be a great source of more technical information. Just google experts in SEO and you will find great information, even for free. My worpress site also has a great Plugin to help with SEO.

The blog content will be available for as long as you have your blog, so if people are searching for something you write about, it will take them to your blogpost, even years after you wrote it.

The other great benefit is that you have your own original content to share on social media, so if people get to know you through reading your blog they start to trust you and if you engage enough they eventually convert to customers and clients.

Write about subjects that helps solve their pains. Yeah, it’s always about that, you have something…. they need this something and boom, if the 2 connect it can be a match made in heaven. Write what you are interested in, be personal, make it fun to read. Nobody likes to read boring "manuals".

You will need a weblog, social media setup and a good linkedIn profile and if you use it regularly it will create interest and customers for you, the key is to post on a regular basis, not once a year, that would not be enough. If you don't know how to do it get help, get a coach, a tutor, or start a mastermindgroup.

Find out about your client's pain and write about a solution to this pain or challenge. Now you have an interesting subject to write about, something that your customers are interested in. First you find a good theme, then you need a great title. What would people google who have this pain? Your title should reflect the answer to this pain, so do some research on google. How to find a great title for your blog.

Simple recipe, isn’t it? For example; if you’re a business or life coach you want to know

Who do you want to coach
What’s keeping them from doing the things they want to do

Let’s say your customers are women over 40 who are looking for a new life direction. What would their problems be?

They might have an idea what they are passionate about, but they don’t know how to realize it. They feel stuck, they might be afraid to leave their comfort zone, or their environment might not support them.

Now you can write about that, or how people can balance their lives, be healthier, more courageous, more successful, more confident, and more. Offer them tips and tricks, be the light at the end of the tunnel. Anything that might be of interest to “your tribe.”

Ps: I love to go write in different cafes, or at the library, it’s stimulates and inspires me to have people around, plus it’s more fun.

Ok my friends I hope this helps a little, if you feel stuck and need some help, take advantage of my “Coaching to help you move forward trial session”, it’s my gift to you, just

e mail me at maritasteffe@gmail.com

If you are inspired to add something to this post, or you have a question, please leave a comment, I love to read them 🙂

Simple Tips on How to Stay Inspired

Simple Tips on How to Stay Inspired

Hello my friends…we just had a heatwave in Germany….. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love good weather, but when it’s too hot and humid to move, it’s not for me.

I used to live in California, where it can be sizzling, but at least there is air condition everywhere… which is not the case in Germany….. Anyway I hope you are enjoying your summer no matter what the conditions are 🙂

During the last few weeks I experienced a loss of inspiration, feeling kind of blah….did not feel like writing, making collages or doing anything that’s fun. I‘m just wondering…has this ever happened to you?

Somehow you want to write something, paint something, create a video or whatever it is…But all you can do is stare into space and there is no spark of inspiration to get into action.

Ouch… it’s painful, frustrating and it happens to me so many times, it’s not funny. For writers it’s called writer’s block, but whatever you want to do, it applies to any block regrading expressing creativity and doing the things that you love to do. Crazy isn't it 🙂

Now what can you do when this happens?

One thing that helps me is to have the book the "Artist Way" nearby and read a chapter, it's the "bible for creative people." I also have a list of blogs bookmarked and when I need a “pick me up”, I read some of their material or watch their videos.That helps, most of the time….

When I want to write a blogpost, but feel blah about the state of the world or think… Well who wants to read another blogpost, there are millions out there already…. I listen to Dr. Lance Secretan, a leadership teacher who creates inspired environments all over the world.

Dr. Secretan teaches the "Higher Ground Leadership Course" at CoachVille, my wonderful school…I just watch one of his videos to put the wind of creativity and hope back into my sails. He uses a great tool: Spirit Cards, their purpose is to help you invite spirit into your work and life.

By the way.. Coachville has a free membership available with an abundance of free audios and other great material……. that's also a great way to get inspired…

One other great way to get back into the groove is: Visualize a time when you were totally on fire… working on something, being blissfully absorbed in the activity. Can you get into the movie?

What did you do?
Who were you with?
What exactly happened?
How did it feel

Try to come up with a few situations, be as detailed as possible and try to re-create the same energy, or feeling. This simple exercise will get the creativity flowing…..I promise 🙂

Music triggers the flow of creativity too, so creating a playlist of your favorite music, will be a fun action. What is it for you? Beatles, Rolling Stones, Cat Stevens, Nirvana, Bob Marley, Mozart, YoYoMa?

Whatever it is…put your headphones on and start singing to the music..

Maybe you want to be bold and start moving to the music…. there is nothing better than dancing, to get out of your mind into your body. Feel the movement, feel the joy, let it take you over. One of my passions is 5 rythm dancing…… psssst it's a secret.

Oh, one last tip…Go to a different place to work… like a nice cafe, the library, maybe your garden or the park, sit next to a creek under a tree, listen to the birds and wait what happens.

Ok my friends that’s it for today….Do you have some more empowerment tips? Please share them for all of us to enjoy.

Blessings

Marita

Check out this wonderful video with another technique 🙂

Make a Vision Board Work – Be Confident

Make a Vision Board Work – Be Confident

Hi my friends… Sometimes people tell me that they made a vision board, but nothing manifested….Frustrating, I get it…. sometimes it happens to people who do not have a lot of confidence. But the good news is that you can practice to believe in yourself.

Life can be great, life can be miserable and it’s up to you what you how you want to experience it. Now this is a tough statement, especially if you went through a lot of suffering in your life. But on the other hand it’s extremely powerful and a great way to transform and create a great life. It’s worth considering the concept!

Do you have doubts that you can be successful, that you can achieve your dreams and goals? Do you know that you can do certain exercises, to be more comfortable with the idea of being successful, confident and wonderful 🙂

Affirmations and power patterns are used in coaching and they are great, simple tools. You just repeat the same short sentence over and over again, like a mantra. You do this every day for at least 5 minutes, and also as a remedy when your limited thinking comes up.

Like… you know what: The little voice in your head that tells you all the bad things that can happen, that you can fail if you try, that you can’t do it any way, good things happen to other people and so on…That’s when you use the affirmation or the power pattern. I have many and I use them all, they work!

Use the opposite of your limiting belief, something that totally resonates with you. The key is to feel great when you hear yourself say the words. If your mind is telling you “you can’t do it”, you say: I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. If it is: “It’s too hard”, you say: I can do this with ease, I can do this with ease, I can do this with ease. Below are some more examples:

I am brilliant and confident
I am fit and in great health
I attract wonderful things
Money is flowing into my life from expected and unexpected sources
I attract all the right people into my life
I am getting better and and better every da
I am loved
Everything is working out perfectly
I trust the flow of life
Everything I need is coming to me
I am here to express my gift

This might sound too good to be true, but it is a simple exercise, that will help you to transform your inner critic to your best cheerleader. Just try it! It’s like a brainwash.

One other simple exercise is to not engage in negative thinking. This technique requires some mindfulness and presence, but if you are aware of the thoughts coming up, you can chose to not engage in them. Just let them go.

To manifest your vision, you have to belief that you are worth it to achieve your life aspirations. You want to look at the vision board as much as possible and feel the images on the board as your truth. You see it, you experience it, you vibrate it, you will draw it into your life. Indeed you will!

Feeling happy, successful, with a wonderful partner, a great career, a great team, wonderful friends and family relations. Driving the new car, on route to your dream destination. Dream big, go for the stars!

If you think you need more help: I use a powerful coaching method called “Inner Freedom,” to help people move through resistance and fear. Also, John Kehoe has a wonderful program called mindpower, it is very simple with easy step by step exercises. It is a truly life changing program.

But first just try the exercises…..Let me know if they work for you and if you have other tips, please share them in a comment.

How Turning 60 Can Be Fabulous

How Turning 60 Can Be Fabulous

Hello my sweet friends….. How are you? I hope you are enjoying the warm balmy weather, I sure am and I'm so glad you are here, let me guess…. you must be close to turning 60 or just turned 60 or maybe close to the occasion?

How does that make you feel?

I turned 60 a few weeks ago…… There is a wide variety of feelings connected to aging, but no matter how you feel about it, you do not have a choice, like it or not, you can't change the fact. A few lucky "angels" find it easy, while it’s a visit into the abyss for others.

For some it’s the realization of….. oh my god, my skin is sagging, I hate those bumps… and the next action is to call a surgeon and get liposuction, a facelift, or maybe the famous breast lift….. Can you relate?

I can… it was a big decision to let my hair turn gray, which I had dyed blonde for 10 years. About 2 years ago I had enough of running away from age and of soaking chemicals into my skin. I asked my hairdresser for moral support, which he gracisously did….. so I got my hair cut very short and let it go gray over the course of six months.

It was a stretch, but now I love it. I wear a bit more makeup, more colorful clothes and fun jewelry.

Acceptance is such a huge help with anything in life….. have you heard the saying?

“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” Carl Gustav Jung

The other difficult experience was….. when I noticed white patches all over my body and face…. I actually panicked. These spots were familiar to me, my mother and grandfather had them. It’s called vitiligo, a skin condition, where areas of the skin don’t pigment any more.

Not really that bad, but I freaked out, I thought…. oh my god I don’t want this, this can’t be true. Unfortunately my complaint and shock did not help. The fact is: I have it, it will not go away and there is no treatment.

When this sank in I started to be grateful, that it’s only that and not a life threatening disease. The next thought was ok, I better accept it, because the resistance of not wanting it was very painful and it made me feel insane, yes… like "ouch" 🙂

To minimize the contrast in skin color, I stay out of the sun, wear tinted sun lotion, a hat, long sleeves and it’s fine..

A friend of mine actually said, Marita you are beautiful with your spots, why do you think you have to be perfect, just love yourself the way you look and are. That was candy for my soul….. ( I love my friend) 🙂

Now of course….. looks are not the only thing that need to be adjusted. What about attitude? For me getting older means that I look at myself more closely and every day I ask myself a few questions.

Who do I want to be?
What’s most important?
What do I want to do in the world?
Who do I want to hang out with?
Is this really what I want?
Is this good for me?
What simple thing can I do to make this world a better place?

When I was still married, I used to be afraid of being alone…. now I love it. Somehow it just happened, the more I like myself the way I am, the more I enjoy my company. What am I doing different now?

I hang out with positive people,
I Do things I enjoy
Go on little adventures
Hang out with people who are positive and nourishing
Exercise and eat healthy food
Laugh a lot
Listen to my needs

I also noticed that it feels good to express my uniqueness instead of trying to fit into the small box of what others want me to be like….. So why not get a crazy haircut, a tattoo, or maybe wear some wild clothes? Why not……have deep conversation, even if most people don't understand it. Why not say that you can start a new life with 60, or finally live out your passsion. Why not???

Would you allow yourself to do that? Ask yourself the question: What is one thing that you always wanted to do? And then....would you allow yourself to do it?

Please let me know what’s helping you to accept reality, be happy, be grateful, age well and be fabulous, I love you sisters….. and I love to read your to read your comments 🙂

How to Recover From People Pleasing

How to Recover From People Pleasing

Hello my friends, I hope all is well in your world…. Lately I've been thinking about people pleasing and I wonder… what’s your thought on it? Are you trying to please people and do things that you do not really want to do and it makes you feel burnt out?

Below a quote by Jim Carrey

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

During the last 10 years, while going through a very tough time in my life, I started getting involved in Alanon and other personal development and transformational programs, where I came across a lot of people pleasers….. or very nice people who don't want want to be nice all the time.

To be perfectly honest, I am one myself, actually now I'm a “people pleaser in recovery”. The fact is that extensive people pleasing has cost me my self expression, self worth, creativity and my aliveness…. Not being true to myself has made me very resentful, passive aggressive and turned me into a martyr……..oh no.

The good news is that I was fortunate enough to be willing to learn about this habit, recognize it as a pattern, that has served me for a while and then I could set strategies in place to practice healthier ways of being and doing. Now… the good news….. anybody can do it!

Since then things have gotten a lot better…. Of course it’s a lifelong practice and these survival patterns don’t go away, but with awareness you can chose; Do you want to be authentic, or do you want to be a people pleaser. They say it takes about 21 days of practicing new behavior to change a pattern.

Simple examples of people pleasing.

Someone asks you….would you help me with this project? You have no desire to do so and no time, but you find yourself saying yes. Always saying yes, when you mean no.
Your boss asks you to work on the weekend and you don’t want to do it but you say yes.
Your friend wants to go to the movies with you, you are tired and don’t feel like it, but you say yes.
Someone is aggressive and instead of standing up for yourself, you say nothing to avoid conflict.
Always putting other people’s needs before yours. Manipulating a situation in order to be nice……ouch 🙂

In some cases, people pleasing is almost like an addiction, constantly needing to be needed.” This is a way to derive a fake sense of self worth, by constantly getting yourself into situations where you feel needed.

Can you relate to any of these points? If yes you might be a people pleaser. Human beings who are always sweet, nice and helpful, but inside they feel burnt out, resentful and taken advantage of. Yes, sometimes it gets so bad that you become sick and can’t function anymore. If you don't refill the well, it will dry out.

How to recover from people pleasing

Know yourself and be aware of your needs
Learn to ask for what you want
Set boundaries with others
Practice radical self care
Get into a support group and/or work with a coach
Journal about what's going on in your life

Know that this is a pattern that you started in childhood, it served you for a while, but at one point in life, it’s not working anymore. That’s the time to practice something new. It has been proven that by practicing new behavior, you can actually create new neural pathways in the brain.

Anything “new” feels uncomfortable, just like new shoes, you can just accept that and do it anyway, until it feels normal. Start on a new path, a life of freedom to express yourself and your needs. You can do it! If you need help ask for help, it’s easier and more fun with help.

PS. When I learned about human design, I discovered some very simple reasons why I react the way I react, how I can chose to accept certain things and with awareness… practice different behavior.

It has helped me find answers to some of the deep questions I had. For example, having an open solarplexus and heart center conditions me to question my self worth, by always thinking there is something wrong with me and the need to prove myself. Do you have that too sometimes?

I found out that I don't have to prove myself, it's just something that I learned growing up. Knowing that if I get to know and accept myself the way I am, I can enjoy peace and the freedom to express myself fully.

The process can be played like a game….Oh look what I discovered about myself….oh I just used a new pattern and it did not feel good but I did it…….

Just in case you would like to know what human design is: In short it's a system that helps you find out about who you are, your uniqueness in the world, your life path, how you can make the right decisions and the promise that if you live true to your design you will live a great life.

Are you ready for that? Try an exploratory session with me, it's my gift to you.

Click the contact tab and connect with me, or message me on facebook.

Now have fun with it and please let me know your thoughts, I love to connect with you.

How To Use Creative Visualization With Your Vision Board

How To Use Creative Visualization With Your Vision Board

How are YOU? I am so happy YOU are here 🙂

Visualization is the most important ingredient when YOU make a vision board…..But what exactly is it… how do YOU do it?

Visualization is the practice of seeking to affect the outer world by changing one's thoughts and expectations with positive thinking, or better said, producing positive images in YOUR mind.

Like…. daydreaming with a focus, YOU produce an image in your mind and focus on it, the longer the better, the more often YOU do it, the more effective it will work to help create YOUR life

“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve“ Napoleon Hill

It's a very simple process, but lots of people have a hard time with it. Same with meditation, a very simple process, but some of us make it very complicated. Are YOU one of them?

To be honest, I was one of them…I used to say that I don't know how to meditate, I can't visualize…..hello how crazy is that? Now I know why…. my mind does not want to engage in healthy activities like this.

Why is it so hard? In my opinion the major reason is that they get too intellectual and try to figure it out. Logical mind wants to know exactly how to do it, always screaming how, why, how, why… but there is nothing to figure out, you just let it go and it will happen. Some more reasons below.

You are convinced it's hard and it pushes the images away
Too much mind activity will overpower the visualization
Stress will make it difficult to calm the mind

Being too intellectual and trying to let the mind run YOUR lives is what we all learned… and it's a problem. The mind is a great servant, but not a great master. The key is to use the mind for certain things, for example: collecting information, memorizing, evaluating, analyzing, sorting……… but not to run YOUR life and make decisions.

Now that we know the problem, let's look at the solution….Meditation is a great practice to calm the mind, so just let go and accept whatever comes up…..Sit quietly in a peaceful place and let go of your thoughts, just let them float by… like clouds. If YOU have a dreamlike fuzzy visualization that's ok. If it's easier for you to feel, then focus on feeling the sensations instead of seeing images.

There is no wrong, YOU can't make mistakes. The most important thing is to feel good, to get into a state of anticipation that, what YOU desire is on the way. The more often YOU can feel or see things, the more effective it will be.

A vision board is a wonderful, fun tool to help visualize…. because it gives YOU the images to look at. So make a vision board, hang it somewhere where YOU see it all the time and gaze at it. Look at the images, feel all the beautiful things, be grateful that they are being attracted into YOUR life……

Believe it's happening, believe YOU deserve it, believe it's YOUR birthright to be happy, content and successful. Do it as much as possible in addition to being aware of YOUR thoughts. It's a practice, it might take time, but enjoy the journey…. it's all part of life. The more YOU enjoy your life the more "good things" will come to you, it's a law of the universe 🙂

Let me know if YOU have any more tips on visualization, please share them with us and leave a comment.

Some more tips for YOU

Visualization Exercises

How to Find Your Life Purpose

How to Find Your Life Purpose

Hello my friends, thank you for visiting my blog. Psssst… just to warn the "spelling and grammar" police…..English is not my first language, I twist sentences and make mistakes, but I love to write and be impulsively creative 🙂

Are YOU here, because you are one of the fortunate beings who found your life purpose…… or you're still searching for it?

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso

So many people are looking for a life purpose, 44000 monthly searches for life purpose on google……with 200 million results. Indeed a BIG question, maybe the biggest question in life. What does it actually mean to live your life purpose? What does it mean for YOU?

To do the work you love to do?
To make good money with work you enjoy?
To express your deep self?
Travel to all the places you want to see?
Have great relationships with family and friends?
To live a great life and be of service to others?
To be happy and healthy?

Maybe it’s all of the above and maybe there is something else…..I would like to share with you, what it is for me:

To do the work I love to do, to help other people live a fulfilling life, while having the freedom to work anywhere in the world.

That’s mine and I am so pleased to say that I am there…… I am living it. Now wait………..it did not happen overnight, it took 10 years. So how did I start? I started with a question to the universe: Please help me find something that makes me happy, let’s me be of service and gives me financial freedom.

Besides asking this question… I took some action steps. Unfortunately, even with the law of attraction, just sitting on the sofa will not work, sorry.

Created a vision board
Got certified as a coach
Participated in spiritual programs
Learned about online business
Participated in many transformational and personal development seminars
Meditated
Took care of my needs
Practice being creative just for the heck of it.
Trusted my intuition
Did a lot of healing work, including some crazy things.

One more piece, that’s very important…Not only did I have to learn new things and skills. I also had to become willing to get out of my comfort zone, to overcome my fear of being visible and standing out…… and that was hard.

It took lots of practice and to be honest… the fear is still there but it does not paralyze me any more. Being ok with failing was another key element that I had to practice. Growing up in a world where one was expected to get it right… was and is not an easy task, can YOU relate?

Somehow one thing lead to the next…..one person lead to the next person…. one teacher lead to the next,……one program to the next. It was like a miraculous, unconscious map…. it came together like a puzzle.

I had no clue where I was going, but I had a feeling I was going into the right direction. Yes, I know it’s not very logical, but it’s not a logical process, the main ingredient is learning to trust and be aware of the next invitation to act.

Yes, I made a wrong turn too, by getting my real estate licence and working as an agent for 4 years, right at the time when the market had crashed. That was hopefully my last example of going for something that was kind of a good idea and practical, which is what my mind told me…. but not fulfilling to my spirit.

A while ago I was introduced to Human Design and it totally fascinated me as another coaching tool. I immersed myself into learning and using it im my own life. It still amazes me how powerful it can be to help clients find their uniqueness, live their true nature and their life purpose. The excitement never ends, there is always something new to learn.

If you are interested in an exploratory session that might rock your world, let me know. It’s my gift to you, no I don’t do free coaching, but I do free sessions to get to know YOU. How else can one choose a coach? Just click the contact tab and we will set up a 50 minute appointment 🙂

Let me know, where you are in the process of finding your life purpose. I love to read your comments.

What is Creativity Anyway?

What is Creativity Anyway?

Hi Marita here…. I came across this article by Ian Philips and found it very interesting. Working as a coach I noticed that one of the essential keys in order to live happy, peaceful, fulfilled lives is: to be authentic and express who YOU are. To express your creativity is a way of expressing your gift. Sounds very simple doesn't it? Well unfortunately it's not, but it can be practiced.

The question is: "What inspires you to create?" Using your creativity does not mean you have to be artists. "Every day" creativity is expressed when you cook, or talk, how you dress. It can be expressed through gardening or how you decorate your homes. Even sports can be a great way to express creativity and of course there are many more ways.

As long as you are immersed in the activity and find joy…………. you are creative…. the key is to dare to "be it and do it", it's a life purpose… Enjoy the article!

"Creativity is our gift from god, using it is our gift to god" Julia Cameron

Have you ever had the thought, "I'm not creative. I can't even draw a straight line"? If so, you're not alone. Many people think that there is some essential relationship between creativity and the ability to make art. If they can't paint like Picasso, sing like Josh Groban, or sculpt like Henry Moore, they don't dare claim to be creative. It feels like an arrogant thing to say about yourself, if you're not an expert, not making a living from your creations, not well-known and publicly acclaimed for your imaginative gifts.

Why, when creativity is our very birthright, do so few of us feel creative? Why, when we're asked to think of someone creative, do we rarely think about ourselves, but of the public figures that have defined creativity over the years? We think of Monet, Mozart, Jackson Pollack, Martha Graham, Ansel Adams, always the figureheads, when the real truth is that every one of us is a born creator. That's the hallmark of being human: the ability to create, to turn something invisible into something visible, to forge a poem out of a feeling or a song out of a sorrow.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention, says that creativity doesn't happen in our heads but in the interaction between our imagination and our social context. It's a matter of experience and response, a matter of relationship to others and a commentary on the significance of our encounters. Creativity is the vivid expression of who we are in the world–our imagination begets our thoughts, our thoughts beget our words, our words beget our actions, our actions beget our experience, our collective experience and expression begets our culture. Each of us is contributing to the creation of the cultures we participate in.

The world is not divided into two groups of the creative and the uncreative. If there's a distinction, it's between those who are creatively productive and those with unexpressed potential. We're creative by default. We're genetically predisposed to create. Each of us, to varying degrees, is intrinsically motivated to create, to be original and to solve challenging problems. The question to ask is not, "Am I creative?" but rather, "What inspires me to create?"

Personal creativity is not about intelligence or information. It's about inspiration, from the Latin spiritus, meaning "breath, courage, the soul." Creativity is about being fully alive, living courageously, or as the painter Joan Miro´ says, "Expressing with precision all the gold sparks the soul gives off." When is the last time you felt fully alive? What is it that calls forth your courage and trumps your fear of sharing your soul? Knowing this is the key to discovering the creativity that is waiting to be expressed through you.alive, living courageously, or as the painter Joan Miro´ says, "Expressing with precision all the gold sparks the soul gives off." When is the last time you felt fully alive? What is it that calls forth your courage and trumps your fear of sharing your soul? Knowing this is the key to discovering the creativity that is waiting to be expressed through you.

…….I hope this article was useful. Now I will inspire you to use some very basic tools to get into the creative zone.

Morning pages are a great meditation and very simple, all you do is: write 3 pages freestyle, whatever comes up and do this every morning. The only rule is not to think and not to edit. It's a way of getting all the rubbish out of your head, that prevents you from doing what you love to do.

Here is a sample of my morning pages: I hear the birds singing, oh I forgot to buy coffee, this woman really bothered me, I cannot believe she said that. Oh my god I don't want to judge people, but I don't care, I think I need another cup of coffee, I can write what I want. Somehow my nose is itching, this is such a beautiful song on the radio, I feel like dancing, it reminds of when I was on one of my beach walks………The beach is so beautiful, I miss the beach, I should have gone to the beach more often. Sometimes I like to write………….there is a big pile of stuff on my desk, why do I get so messy, oh well, right now I just write.

Try it, it's one of my favorite practices, I get addicted to it…

How do YOU express your creativity? Please leave a comment, it's always great to hear what YOU have to say.