Tag: life changes

Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How Coaching and Human Design Work Together

Coaching and Human Design Work Together

How are you? I’m so happy that you are here. Today I would like to share something with you that has been a life-changer for me. Oh, before I forget I would like to wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

My studies and training in personal development and coaching have been extensive and just when I thought I can stop learning for a while, my coach introduced me to Human Design.

He used it in our coaching sessions and I was amazed how it helped me move through some issues that held me back. So now you might want to know….

  • What is Human Design and how does it work with coaching?

Chetan Parkyn, a human design expert and author of several books on the subject explains it this way: We each have our own unique design — a blueprint of our individual nature. Yet, few of us live in accordance with our Design, because we don’t know what it is. Instead, we try to mold ourselves to the expectations of other people. (That´s where the problem starts)

So the key benefit to knowing your design is that once you know how your energies flow, what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can better work with them, accept your unique nature and be yourself. Of course it will make it easier to accept other people for who they are, too.

You will have access to some simple strategies on how to make decisions according to your type and how to interact with others. It will help you to know which relationships will be good for you and which will be complicated, then you can decide if you chose to hang out with the difficult ones or not.

It will also be beneficial to accept the fact that life is programmed and that your internal navigation system will guide you through it. Now this is a tough one to swallow for some people but for others it´s a relief. I am a fan of 12 step programs and a practitioner of mindfulness and I found that these 3 practices work together in total harmony.

This is about all I want to say about the system and if you would like to know more about it you will find great information at Human Design for us all and Human Design America. I also would like to let you know that I am not a human design expert nor offer professional readings, I simply use elements that have proven to be beneficial for me and my clients in my coaching.

Some practical examples how it works.

First I print out an interesting chart based on name, place, date and time of birth of a person which gives me a lot of information about certain energies in the human being. Some people do not like this, that`s ok, but for the ones who like self-discovery and want to know the truth of how they operate in the world, this is truly an amazing tool.

Let me give you some examples of how it has benefited me. One of my challenges is fluctuating self-worth, I never thought about it and just knew it was there but did not really know how to work with it.

  • So I learned that it`s not my nature but what I learned while growing up, because most parents and society do not support individuality, they try to mold little people to their standards. So it’s easy for a child to believe that they are not worth anything, they are not lovable, or they always feel that there is something wrong with them. These are called patterns of belief and survival patterns. These are also the internal energies that keep us stuck.
  • The other important insight was that my energy fluctuates and that it`s very important for my wellbeing to be aware of my energy and not force myself to do things when the energy is not there, but fully utilize it when it’s there. I have to be aware of my flow not only for me but for my environment, because when my energy is off I mess up your flow. So I have some responsibility 🙂
  • I have some energies that work as a catalyst for others, meaning that when people are around me or work with me….out of the blue they open up to stuck energies, now this might sound a bit weird, but I notice it more and more.
  • The last one I want to mention is a huge creative energy which has to be shared with the others. Most of my life I was very closed and did not share myself, but since I started my journey of self-discovery I started to open up and the more I open up and share my findings the more fulfilled I feel.
  • Oh, here is one more…I am all over the place that means I am jumping from one idea to the next one excitement to the next, one task to the next and I thought I have to be concentrated and do one thing at a time. Knowing this has opened up new opportunities because I can accept that my energies work like this, but I can also learn how to be effective when I`m all over the place.

This is it for now, I could go on forever, but I just wanted to give you a taste. This information has been life changing and I am forever grateful to my coach and trainer Dave Buck, CEO of Coachville to use Human Design in our coaching sessions.

 

 

How to Recover From People Pleasing

How to Recover From People Pleasing

How to Recover From People Pleasing

Hello my friends, I hope all is well in your world…. Lately I've been thinking about people pleasing and I wonder… what’s your thought on it? Are you trying to please people and do things that you do not really want to do and it makes you feel burnt out?

 

Below a quote by Jim Carrey

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

 

During the last 10 years, while going through a very tough time in my life, I started getting involved in Alanon and other personal development and transformational programs, where I came across a lot of people pleasers….. or very nice people who don't want want to be nice all the time.

 

To be perfectly honest, I am one myself, actually now I'm a “people pleaser in recovery”. The fact is that extensive people pleasing has cost me my self expression, self worth, creativity and my aliveness…. Not being true to myself has made me very resentful, passive aggressive and turned me into a martyr……..oh no.

 

The good news is that I was fortunate enough to be willing to learn about this habit, recognize it as a pattern, that has served me for a while and then I could set strategies in place to practice healthier ways of being and doing. Now… the good news…..  anybody can do it!

 

Since then things have gotten a lot better…. Of course it’s a lifelong practice and these survival patterns don’t go away, but with awareness you can chose; Do you want to be authentic, or do you want to be a people pleaser. They say it takes about 21 days of practicing new behavior to change a pattern.

 

Simple examples of people pleasing.

  • Someone asks you….would you help me with this project? You have no desire to do so and no time, but you find yourself saying yes. Always saying yes, when you mean no.
  • Your boss asks you to work on the weekend and you don’t want to do it but you say yes.
  • Your friend wants to go to the movies with you, you are tired and don’t feel like it, but you say yes.
  • Someone is aggressive and instead of standing up for yourself, you say nothing to avoid conflict.
  • Always putting other people’s needs before yours. Manipulating a situation in order to be nice……ouch 🙂

In some cases, people pleasing is almost like an addiction, constantly needing to be needed.” This is a way to derive a fake sense of self worth, by constantly getting yourself into situations where you feel needed.

 

Can you relate to any of these points? If yes you might be a people pleaser. Human beings  who are always sweet, nice and helpful, but inside they feel burnt out, resentful and taken advantage of. Yes, sometimes it gets so bad that you become sick and can’t function anymore. If you don't refill the well, it will dry out.

 

How to recover from people pleasing

 

  • Know yourself and be aware of your needs

  • Learn to ask for what you want

  • Set boundaries with others

  • Practice radical self care

  • Get into a support group and/or work with a coach

  • Journal about what's going on in your life

 

Know that this is a pattern that you started in childhood, it served you for a while, but at one point in life, it’s not working anymore. That’s the time to practice something new. It has been proven that by practicing new behavior, you can actually create new neural pathways in the brain.

 

Anything “new” feels uncomfortable, just like new shoes, you can just accept that and do it anyway, until it feels normal. Start on a new path, a life of freedom to express yourself and your needs. You can do it! If you need help ask for help, it’s easier and more fun with help.

 

PS. When I learned about human design, I discovered some very simple reasons why I react the way I react, how I can chose to accept certain things and with awareness… practice different behavior.

 

It has helped me find answers to some of the deep questions I had. For example, having an open solarplexus and heart center conditions me to question my self worth, by always thinking there is something wrong with me and the need to prove myself. Do you have that too sometimes?

 

I found out that I don't have to prove myself, it's just something that I learned growing up. Knowing that if I get to know and accept myself the way I am, I can enjoy peace and the freedom to express myself fully.

 

The process can be played like a game….Oh look what I discovered about myself….oh I just used a new pattern and it did not feel good but I did it…….

 

Just in case you would like to know what human design is: In short it's a system that helps you find out about who you are, your uniqueness in the world, your life path, how you can make the right decisions and the promise that if you live true to your design you will live a great life.

 

Are you ready for that? Try an exploratory session with me, it's my gift to you.

Click the contact tab and connect with me, or message me on facebook.

 

Now have fun with it and please let me know your thoughts, I love to connect with you.

Simple Tips To Be More Positive

Simple Tips To Be More Positive

Simple Tips To Be More Positive

Dear friends, please forgive me that I write in English with a German twist and in German with an English twist… but it's what I do 🙂

 

Ok, here we go: Do you sometimes find yourself in a rut of complaining…. seeing the negative in everything…. only noticing what you don't have and feeling sorry for yourself.

Ouch….. I know it's not very pretty, but I experienced that even some very advanced and wise human beings suffer from this at times. So if it makes you feel better……you are not alone, it’s called… being human 🙂

 

Can you be open to the fact that everything in the universe is energy? Our body is energy, our thoughts and feelings are energy and everything around us as well. All of life is energy vibrating at different frequencies. Scientific research tells us that we attract the same energy we put out. It's a quantum physics law and it could be what the Buddhists call Karma.

 

Yes… I know it sounds a bit abstract, but I chose to trust that it's true, even if my mind would like to dissect it and scream: where is the proof? I want proof ! But proof or not it's better to be safe and try to generate good feelings and positive energy to attract more of the good stuff. What do you think?

 

Keeping this in mind it makes sense, that if we are negative we attract more of the same “energy shit” to us and if we are positive we attract more of the positive people and events towards us. Very simple isn’t it…. but how can we use this in a practical way to improve our lives?

 

For some people negativity is like an addiction, they dive into it…. for some lucky others it’s easy to be positive. It depends on how they are wired and what was experienced throughout life.

 

Depending on what's going on in the world some people are easily affected by those energies. Especially for "emotional sponges, or empaths, it's hard to stay positive, because of their sensitivity to energy.

 

If you are sensitive, you can be affected by the moon, how someone talks to you, the weather, the impatient driver behind you flipping you off, or being in crowds. The good news is that there are few simple practices that can be learned and practiced in order to help you be more positive.

 

Simple Tips To Be More Positive

 

  • Skip the news

  • Smile more

  • Read nourishing books

  • Surround yourself with positive people

  • Allow yourself time to play

  • Make time to do things you love to do

  • Turn a poster into your favorite quote

  • Eat good, healthy food

  • Meditate

  • Exercise and get fresh air

  • Affirmations

  • Gratitude

 

Zap tolerations, at all cost….. avoid people and things that drain your energy. This could be one of the most important tips that I can give you. Even if it’s hard… if someone close to you makes you feel bad and drains your energy, let them go, or at least limit your exposure to them. Skip the news, it’s more helpful for the planet, if you add positive energy to your environment than to know all the horrors going on in the world. It's called self care.

 

Meditation will help you to become more aware of what’s going on in your mind. This simple awareness will give you the choice to practice a different way of thinking.

One of the improvements after practicing meditation was; that I knew I have a chance to interrupt my trail of thoughts and change them. Very simple but powerful.

 

  • I will share my very simple meditation with you. I sit down on a chair or a cushion in a quiet place and start breathing, I just keep breathing and imagine breathing in calm and happiness and breathing out negativity. Sometimes I visualize the positive as pink light and warm energy and the negativity as dark brown and cold energy. I do this for five minutes and longer if I have more time….. just breathing, not getting drawn into thoughts…..easy enough?                                                                                             

Affirmations are very simple to help you generate positive energy. Do you remember this guy; Stuart Smalley from "Saturday Night Life?" He said his affirmations in front of a mirror and it was hilarious. Watch the video below it will make you laugh. The key about affirmations is… create them in present time, starting with I am. It's how you would like to feel and what you would like to feel in the NOW. For example…..

  • I love and accept myself
  • I trust the universe
  • I am healthy and happy
  • I have everything I need and more
  • Every cell of my body is vibrant and healthy
  • Good things are coming to me

 

But fun aside, affirmations and gratitude work very well when you are not feeling great. They will generate the feeling of love in your body and they are simple enough to remember and practice. Keep reminding yourself with “posts it notes” placed in strategic place: your car, fridge, bathroom mirror, any strategic places that you visit more often.

 

Another very helpful strategy is an accountability partner, a dedicated friend who you can check in

with, when you need to know that all is well and the emotions will pass……

Of course this is one of the reasons that a coach can be a blessings, someone who reminds you of your gifts and assets and who believes in you even if you don’t…and yes sometimes a coach has to challenge you…………If you would like to try my  "coaching experience" session, which is is my gift to you, just Click this link to find out more


One last thing…please smile more….

I wish you a wonderful week and please leave a comment to let us know what helps YOU to come out of a negative rut.

 

Have fun with Stuart

Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things?

Why Is It So Hard To Try New Things?

 

Why Is It So Hard To Do New Things?

 

How do YOU feel when you desire to make changes in life. Do you feel ecstatic, do you feel anxious, or do you you feel neutral about it?

 

The fact is that changes are very hard for most people, that's why they rather stay in painful situations. Even if the change comes with the promise of a great life, it gets ignored and pushed onto the "famous back burner."

 

Do YOU know "someone" who stays in a miserable job, a bad marriage, hangs out with friends who are not a pleasure to be around, but holds on and on and complains and complains, but does not do anything about it?

 

Why is that? Sometimes the job isn't even paid well, so what the heck is going on? Could it be security, or better said the illusion of security? The job might be gone tomorrow, the company might be downsizing, the owner might be changing, the new boss might not like you. Job gone anyway…………………there is no security and it's better to face it.

 

Knowing this might help YOU with stepping out of YOUR comfort zone and experiment with new things. Maybe it's looking for another position, maybe it's finally creating the business YOU always wanted to have.

 

Yeah why not, it's good to face the fear head on and do it. Life is short and too precious to be lived in comfortable misery.

Find some helpful tips below, to be more courageous and start to initiate some life changes, even small ones.

 

  • Find a group of other people who want to do the same

  • Get some motivating inspiring books

  • Participate in some personal growth seminars

  • Get a coach

  • Don't tell you dream buster friends, you know the "ones" who don't dare and do not want their friends to dare either

 

It is very hard to do it alone, YOU need to have people who believe in YOU and support YOU. I myself initiated several major life changes in my life.

 

When I was 24 I moved  from Germany to California, started 4 businesses. Around 52 I left my husband, started on a quest to find my life purpose and moved back to Germany when I was 58.

By the way in case YOU wonder….I found my life purpose 🙂

 

Every little step was scary as hell, but I did it and know that YOU can do it too.

Overcoming the fear and the resistance is the first step……………..This sounds weird but it's true, the fear and resistance will always be there, so there is nothing to get rid of or overcome. The only thing that can be done is to not let it stop YOU.

How can we do that?

 

Feel the fear, accept it welcome it and tell yourself that it's ok to try a little experiment, or venture out into new territory. It's ok, no lion will come and eat YOU 🙂

 

The more experiments YOU make the more empowered YOU will feel.

Really…. what do you have to lose, there is not security to hold on to, it’s an illusion.

 

Try a session with me and find out if YOU might get inspired to discover something new.  Go to the contact tab and e mail me to schedule a 2 part session, it's my gift to you. I can't wait to meet YOU.

 

 

 

Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes

Life changes over 40

 

Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes

No…….. I'm not talking about menopause, although that's a major life change too and it might be part of it. What I’m interested in is what happens when; the kids are moving out of the house, the husbands might be too, maybe a family member died……………… we might be unhappy with our career, or we remember this one thing that we wanted to do for a long time………

It’s the time in life when spirit knocks and is waiting for us to change gear and take a different path. It’s very important to listen to this. We all know that life is short and that it can be over at any minute. Two of my friends just died one was younger than me, one was 63. So we better be happy and do what we love to do……

Below is how my life changed direction when I turned 50

 

“God gave us all a gift, Using this gift is our gift back to God.

~Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

Continue reading “Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes”