women over 40 Archives - MaritaSteffe.com

Finding Joy in the Little Things

Is it hard for you to find joy in the little things? Can you only enjoy the grander, more expensive things in life?

Not really a problem, but you might miss the simple beauty of everyday things.

I used to be like this….. until everything around me crashed and I had nothing left. That was about 10 years ago……

Just briefly what happened: Family gone, money gone, business gone, friends gone and with all that my identity was gone too, which was a very, very good change of events. Yes it was not a pretty picture and my life felt totally empty and meaningless.

To be honest, at that time I did not think it was a good thing, I felt like a victim and was angry, depressed and hurt. But going through the "muck" for several years I slowly found something else: access to my spirit, a deep self love and last not least I found my life purpose.

10 years ago I did not have a clue of what that could be, or how I could find this. These days everything is different, I will celebrate my 60 birthday this summer and I decided to start celebrating now.

Who knows what can happen not that I worry that I might die, but I just want to live "full blast", have fun, do things I love to do, get over some of my challenges, try new things, be more self expressed, be bold, be curageous.

The reason is; that 2 of my friends died last year, they were around 60, too young to die. So I thought to myself, who knows how many years I have. One of the friends who died was always worried about money for retirement. Well that was a waste of energy, she did not even live to enjoy retirement age.

So what are the little things?

My "little things"….. are activities and things that do not cost a lot of money like: Hanging out with friends, cooking and enjoying a nice meal together, watching the sunset, going for a nice walk in nature.

Doing things you love to do, walking along the beach, writing in your journal, listening to beautiful music, watching a good movie, meditating with friends, going to retreats, inspiring others. Going on a local adventure, trying something new, floating in warm water, getting a massage, engaging in deep conversations, being with like minded people, taking a fun class, going dancing…………..I can't stop

What simple things do you love? Please engage and leave a comment, psssst: it might inspire someone 🙂

Over 50 Happy and Fit

Over 50 Happy and Fit

Do YOU remember when YOU were young and thought that women over 40 are very old? I sure did and now that I am almost 60………. it's not old at all.

How do YOU feel about your age, the state of YOUR body and YOUR mind? Are YOU happy with YOUR life? If not, what do YOU do about it?

I come from a background where I heard, and for that matter, hear the following sentence a lot: Things are the way they are and I am the way I am and that's it……….no room for growth 🙂

These days I don’t have to accept this statement as truth any more. It's empowering for me to be fit and happy and to create my life the way it works for me.

I started making changes when I was 50 and it has been a marvelous, but also a painful journey of self-discovery. But to be honest even the pain was ok, because it helped me feel my feelings.

My life up to that point was ok, or at least that's what I thought………….

Turning 40 I was middle aged-plump, I weighed about 160 pounds and did not feel good in my skin. Eventually I signed up for the gym and did a 3 day routine, lost some weight but not much……..Turning 50, I went through a total crises and changed my diet, my lifestyle. some of my friends, my old way of thinking and more.

I dropped French bread and replaced it with dark German whole grain bread, I quit alcohol, smoking and comfort food……… Or to be honest I still had comfort food sometimes and here and there I had a glass of wine with dinner. I believe that it's too hard to be too strict with myself; there are always exceptions to my rules.

My new diet included more steamed vegetables and salads, and water replaced juices. The interesting thing was that I quit smoking but did not have a desire to binge eat. That was a miracle, It probably was due to the fact that I practiced meditation and lots of methods to help me be aware of what I think and what I do.

These programs and teachers helped me:

Mind power with John Kehoe
Mindfulness meditation
12 step programs
Byron Katie
Louise Hay
Eckhart Tolle

Now that I'm 59, I still keep up my gym routine, I found a class that I love. A mix of Yoga, Tai Chi and Chi Gong. I do weights and I love power plate exercises, which also helps with osteoporosis… or so I heard. I love to ride my bike and go for walks.

One of my other favorites is 5 rhythm classes, but so far I have not been able to find it in my town in Germany, although I could take the train to Cologne………..It's funny, when I lived in the state a one hour commute was normal. At times, I would do it every day, now I think it's too hard….I have to meditate on this one………..Anyway, it’s important to make it fun and keep it exciting.

Yesterday I met a woman at the gym, she is 62 and has the body of a 30 year old, I kept noticing her and thought wow, this is amazing……… she inspires me. We started chatting about life, what we do in order to keep our bodies fit and how we stay inspired and happy.

She told me that she works with a hospice service as a volunteer which reminded me that I wanted to volunteer for a hospice service for a long time, but keep talking about and have not done it. So now that I got the contact information of the organization that does the training, I will talk to them.

For me this was another sign that it's something I should do. Believe it or not I've been thinking and talking about it for years……………….I believe in signs, if I want to do something and somehow reminders show up out of the blue, it's my sign to DO IT. This is part of my "spiritual fitness."

To recognize the signs, follow my intuition and my gut instinct. If I live my life according to these guidelines I’m in tune with myself. Meditation and self-reflection are great tools to help strengthen these qualities.

How do YOU keep your mind and your body fit? Please leave a comment I love to read them.

How to Make Decisions From the Heart

How to Make Decisions From the Heart

Hello my friends…I have spoken to many women who are going through major life changes and there is always one common challenge………….What do you think it is?

The most common one is: “not knowing what to do next”. Was that the one YOU picked too? I’m sure there are others but let’s focus on this one.

So, what feelings come up with not knowing what to do next?

Feeling stuck
Being confused
Getting angry
Having anxiety attacks

These feelings have something in common; they don’t feel good……………… but they are part of a normal process. “It just is what it is” and somehow it needs to be accepted, there is nothing else that can be done to speed it up. Resisting it will just make it worse.

One process that helped me a lot when I went through these phases was to get in touch with my intuition. By doing daily meditation and going for walks alone, we can get in touch with our body and our heart. It will empower YOUR life

Intuition is listening to our body language. What is the heart telling us? This body language is not very clear and we have to learn to interpret it. For some people it’s hearing things, for some feeling, for some it’s seeing. Whatever sense it is, it is not very loud, so it's very important to get to know the little voice inside.

What exactly is intuition?

Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without interference or the use of reason. The word intuition comes from Latin verb intueri which is usually translated as to look inside or to contemplate. Intuition is thus often conceived as a kind of inner perception, sometimes regarded as real lucidity or understanding. Cases of intuition are of a great diversity; however, processes by which they happen typically remain mostly unknown to the thinker, as opposed to the view of rational thinking. Intuition provides views, understandings, judgements or beliefs that we cannot in every case verify or rationally justify.

The quieter we get the better it can be heard, seen or felt. There are also some good books out there to help improve our intuitive sense. I just read “Practical Intuition” by Laura Day.

Here a little excerpt from the book:

As the end of the second millennium draws near, the limitations of logic, rationality and the scientific method as the sole means of guiding our lives are becoming all too painfully clear. Increasingly our world is turning to modes of perception and understanding that don’t rely on evidence presented to our senses, modes such as intuition and faith……………….

Intuition has a dubious reputation in these times Conventional wisdom dismisses it as something intangible, mystical, unreliable-and hence the province of women. Men, to the extent that they are allowed intuition at all, have hunches or gut responses, or instincts.

These are myths and misconceptions. Women are not more intuitive than men. Perhaps because intuition was not thought to be a rational process it was attributed to women, whereas rational thought was assumed to be the province of the male brain…………….

Below are some simple exercises to help you become more intuitive

Find a comfortable place to sit, or lie down
Follow you breath and count one on the inhale and two when you breathe out
When you are relaxed identify a situation that you would like more insight about
Be focused on the event or situation and just keep breathing
Ask for a direct intuitive answer
Let go of the outcome

Who are you asking? Well I would say: your higher self, the field, the universe, or a higher power. Whatever it is for YOU

Now, how will the answers come?

They come through people, things that happen in your daily life, a newspaper article, you are reading, a conversation you are overhearing, something you read online, or something you see on TV. The most important thing is to always be aware of YOUR surroundings, everything you see, sense, hear or feel might have something to do with the answer.

I love this way of living life, it’s magical. Please tell me about your experience with intuition and how you get your answers. The more intuitive you get the more you will trust yourself and love yourself too, so start now 🙂

Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes

Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes

No…….. I'm not talking about menopause, although that's a major life change too and it might be part of it. What I’m interested in is what happens when; the kids are moving out of the house, the husbands might be too, maybe a family member died……………… we might be unhappy with our career, or we remember this one thing that we wanted to do for a long time………

It’s the time in life when spirit knocks and is waiting for us to change gear and take a different path. It’s very important to listen to this. We all know that life is short and that it can be over at any minute. Two of my friends just died one was younger than me, one was 63. So we better be happy and do what we love to do……

Below is how my life changed direction when I turned 50

“God gave us all a gift, Using this gift is our gift back to God.

~Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

Continue reading “Over 40 and Going Through Major Life Changes”

Dive Into A Great New Life

Dive Into A Great New Life

Hello my friends, yes I am talking to YOU! Are you ready to dive? Are you sick and tired of life the way it is and would like to explore something new?

So what happens to women over 40?

As long as the children are at home everything seems to be ok, but as soon as they leave, this nagging " what's next, or is this all there is," is knocking on the door.

Sometimes dramatic things happen, the marriage might not be working anymore, maybe death took a partner, maybe the career YOU had for a long time just isn't fulfilling enough, it’s too stressful, or maybe it's just this dream, that has been dangling out there and now it's time to pursue it……………………

What is it for YOU?

YOU might realize that life is short and even when YOU are successful and have all the material things, it might not satisfy YOUR heart’s desire. It's a time of searching and evaluating and it can be very confusing and crazy making. I know it was for me.

I remember going in spirals from the time I was 50, I tried several things, thought it was a good idea at the time but it really wasn’t.

Like a miracle, in the end every little piece of the puzzle brought me to where I am today. A huge part of finally getting there was to trust my intuition and learn to listen to the quiet hints and iintuitions I would get.

Well this might not apply to everybody, but I know it applies to lots of women. I have been talking to lots of them in Germany and the US, we talk at meetings, at events, on social media and so on.

If YOU are interested, I tell YOU a little bit about my time of searching and what I came up with: I had my first experience with life coaching when I was 50, I was fascinated but somehhow I forgot about it again and started doing other things. YOU know they were kind of practical, but not expressing my passion.

Somehow, when I was 57, I started taking classes at CoachVille to learn better communication skills, then I noticed oh, I love this life coaching thing and so I pursued a career as a professional life coach.

I realized that being immersed into deep, life changing conversations makes me come alive. It’s the most inspiring environment for me. Working with a coach has been a life changing experience in my life.

He helps me to focus on essentials, to value myself, keeps me on track, inspires me, believes in me and we also have a lot of fun designing a life and business game that works for me and my nature. I learned that I don't have to do it alone, what a freaking relief that was…………..:-)

Just in case YOU wonder why I’m telling YOU all this: it’s because when most people are left to their own devices it’s very hard to make changes. The bigger the game is, that we want to play in life, the more challenges appear, accompanied by fear and resistance.

If we think we have to do it all alone, most of us don’t do it…and yes, that's the end of the dream.

Don't let that happen!

A coach will help YOU to get out of YOUR own minds, help YOU to be aware of the possibilities, reminds YOU of YOUR potential, champion YOU through the challenges, believe in YOU when YOU don’t and helps to design actions that will get results.

PS: I just designed a new “Dive Into A Great New Life” experience, which will provide great value for YOU. It’s not one session but two and it’s my gift to you, wohooooooooo.

Let me give YOU an idea what we will do and to say the least I am very excited about offering it

Session one: Together we will determine what it is that “something” that you wanted to do for a long time?

Assignment in between session: I will give you instructions on how to make a powerful vision board.

Session two: We will discuss the vision board and look at YOUR environment to find out:

What needs to be eliminated,
What needs to be transformed
What needs to be added in order to support your success.

YOU will get a sheet which will help you with the needed upgrade to your environment.

This could be a powerful first step to dive into a great life and this experience is my gift to YOU, e mail me at maritasteffe@gmail.com to schedule YOUR time, YOU will need 2 times 30 minutes.

PS: I will be on a meditation retreat until 8/17, so you will not hear from me until the 18th.