empower your life Archives - MaritaSteffe.com

Simple Strategy to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

I hope you are in good spirits and excited about 2016. I sure am because… good things are coming. But now I have a thought or two about the famous New Year Resolutions.

Here we are again…it´s a few weeks into the New Year, the gym is packed, my favorite class is overcrowded… what happened? This phenomena happens every year, people create resolutions just to drop them 4 weeks later? It must be some kind of insanity as Albert Einstein stated in his quote 🙂

Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I don´t do this… but I´m aware of it. I think it´s kind of a herd thing….As soon as the end or the beginning of the year comes around and everybody creates New Year resolutions… I have to do it too.

Yeah it feels good….we have the best intentions until we decide otherwise and they are put on ice again until next year and then the same game starts again. Can you relate?

So what’s the problem?

New Year Resolutions normally reflect short-term thinking, or a quick fix, instead of having a long term plan, that’s why only a small percentage of those who make resolutions achieve their desired goals….Now that’s not a good success rate.

So is there a reason people don’t stick to their resolutions? Professionals’ answers are mixed. Some believe that many don´t have a strategy or someone to keep them accountable and support them to achieve these “goals“. But there is a way to empower yourself and stick to your new years resolutions.

Below are some strategies that will help you keep your resolutions Steven Covey, the author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People “ once said, “Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking.” This is how I feel about resolutions: As the CEO of a strategic marketing firm, my New Year’s Resolution is not to have one. As an individual, could I say that I plan to improve myself in 2016? I certainly strive for that on an on-going basis, but not that the start of each year. That too is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be clear with your goals:

If you want to be healthier what does that mean for you? Exercise, eat healthier foods? Meditate, work less? Let’s just ake the example of healthier foods.

What’s on the list of foods that’s not good for you?
Are you willing to find a healthier replacement?
Are you willing to change some habits?

The key is to make it work for YOU…when you make a shopping list please…. write down things that you like to eat, don’t write down spinach and whole grain noodles if you hate them. Make it a habit to write a grocery list, with healthy foods, that you like. If you have only chips, soft drinks and junk food at home it’s impossible to eat healthier.

Would you like to move more? Think about exercise that you would like to do, there must be something. Sometimes it’s easier to go for walks, go on a bike ride be in nature, or take fun classes, than to work on machines. Although I like the machines because I listen to interesting audios at the some time.

Keep track

What did you eat today?
What kind of exercise did you do?
What did you do that is good for you?

Try to do 3 things every day towards your goal, even small things. Write down how you exercised, or what you ate….. if we keep track of something it’s easier to manage. Just simply tracking how much you are….or aren’t…doing, will push you in the right direction. If you didn’t do well…please just forgive yourself and try again….make it an experiment, there is no fail there is only: I try again!!!

Be accountable to someone

This will motivate and inspire you, just tell someone you trust about your endeavour, work out with a trainer, take a class, do something with a friend or get a coach. Start a little accountability group where everybody can work on their own resolution, but you still watch out for each other’s goals. All this takes you out of your “alone zone” and it will be more motivating if you are not left to your own devices.

If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow. Voltaire.

Do it one step at a time and forgive yourself if you think you didn’t do it right. Try again and again and again and again until eventually you will establish a new habit. New habits get easier, because after doing something for a while new neural pathways get established in the brain.

Lots of luck to YOU and I hope this article will help you a little bit, but no matter what…don’t give up. To finish this up, please remember to celebrate your successes whenever you made a little step towards your goal celebrate…Take yourself on a date, get your nails done, buy some chocolate, go to a nice café and have a cup of tea or coffee. Go to the spa, do something nice for you. Will ya 🙂

Talk to you next time 🙂

How to Recover From People Pleasing

How to Recover From People Pleasing

Hello my friends, I hope all is well in your world…. Lately I've been thinking about people pleasing and I wonder… what’s your thought on it? Are you trying to please people and do things that you do not really want to do and it makes you feel burnt out?

Below a quote by Jim Carrey

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

During the last 10 years, while going through a very tough time in my life, I started getting involved in Alanon and other personal development and transformational programs, where I came across a lot of people pleasers….. or very nice people who don't want want to be nice all the time.

To be perfectly honest, I am one myself, actually now I'm a “people pleaser in recovery”. The fact is that extensive people pleasing has cost me my self expression, self worth, creativity and my aliveness…. Not being true to myself has made me very resentful, passive aggressive and turned me into a martyr……..oh no.

The good news is that I was fortunate enough to be willing to learn about this habit, recognize it as a pattern, that has served me for a while and then I could set strategies in place to practice healthier ways of being and doing. Now… the good news….. anybody can do it!

Since then things have gotten a lot better…. Of course it’s a lifelong practice and these survival patterns don’t go away, but with awareness you can chose; Do you want to be authentic, or do you want to be a people pleaser. They say it takes about 21 days of practicing new behavior to change a pattern.

Simple examples of people pleasing.

Someone asks you….would you help me with this project? You have no desire to do so and no time, but you find yourself saying yes. Always saying yes, when you mean no.
Your boss asks you to work on the weekend and you don’t want to do it but you say yes.
Your friend wants to go to the movies with you, you are tired and don’t feel like it, but you say yes.
Someone is aggressive and instead of standing up for yourself, you say nothing to avoid conflict.
Always putting other people’s needs before yours. Manipulating a situation in order to be nice……ouch 🙂

In some cases, people pleasing is almost like an addiction, constantly needing to be needed.” This is a way to derive a fake sense of self worth, by constantly getting yourself into situations where you feel needed.

Can you relate to any of these points? If yes you might be a people pleaser. Human beings who are always sweet, nice and helpful, but inside they feel burnt out, resentful and taken advantage of. Yes, sometimes it gets so bad that you become sick and can’t function anymore. If you don't refill the well, it will dry out.

How to recover from people pleasing

Know yourself and be aware of your needs
Learn to ask for what you want
Set boundaries with others
Practice radical self care
Get into a support group and/or work with a coach
Journal about what's going on in your life

Know that this is a pattern that you started in childhood, it served you for a while, but at one point in life, it’s not working anymore. That’s the time to practice something new. It has been proven that by practicing new behavior, you can actually create new neural pathways in the brain.

Anything “new” feels uncomfortable, just like new shoes, you can just accept that and do it anyway, until it feels normal. Start on a new path, a life of freedom to express yourself and your needs. You can do it! If you need help ask for help, it’s easier and more fun with help.

PS. When I learned about human design, I discovered some very simple reasons why I react the way I react, how I can chose to accept certain things and with awareness… practice different behavior.

It has helped me find answers to some of the deep questions I had. For example, having an open solarplexus and heart center conditions me to question my self worth, by always thinking there is something wrong with me and the need to prove myself. Do you have that too sometimes?

I found out that I don't have to prove myself, it's just something that I learned growing up. Knowing that if I get to know and accept myself the way I am, I can enjoy peace and the freedom to express myself fully.

The process can be played like a game….Oh look what I discovered about myself….oh I just used a new pattern and it did not feel good but I did it…….

Just in case you would like to know what human design is: In short it's a system that helps you find out about who you are, your uniqueness in the world, your life path, how you can make the right decisions and the promise that if you live true to your design you will live a great life.

Are you ready for that? Try an exploratory session with me, it's my gift to you.

Click the contact tab and connect with me, or message me on facebook.

Now have fun with it and please let me know your thoughts, I love to connect with you.

Spring Cleaning To Empower and Renew Yourself

Spring Cleaning To Empower and Renew Yourself

The secret of getting started is breaking complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” ~Mark Twain

Yipppeeee, it's spring again, time to get the cobwebs out of your minds and homes, it sometimes even helps to get unstuck. Spring cleaning is a simple task to refresh and renew your senses. Sometimes you will feel like new after the spring cleaning. So put your favorite music on, use natural cleaning soaps and bring "happy energy" to the task. Go through your drawers, cabinets and closets. Take a few boxes, or bags and label them.

Donation
Second Hand Store
Trash

Things that have not been used in a while can be donated or when something is more valuable and you need the money give it to a second hand store. After you've gone through everything it's time to take the boxes into the car to make sure they don't go back into the closet. (We know what you're like) 🙂 Step one completed, now let's start with step two.

Spring Cleaning:

Vacuum everything, wash the windows, remove the cobwebs, dust the furniture, mop with Meyer's lemon soap, wipe the shelves. Ahhh, it feels good already, now new things can come into your life and here is why: According to Feng Shui, clutter is low, stagnant, blocked energy that drains energy from you and lowers the quality of your life. As soon as you get rid of the clutter in your life you create space for something new to come in………….. how wonderful is that!

Now that you've done your home it's time to "declutter you". Take a bath with 6 cups of apple cider vinegar, which will draw the negative energy out of your body and energy field, it also softens your skin. Let go of all the old stuff that is bothering you, say good bye to the anger, hurt and disappointment. Why is it a good idea to let go of it? These negative feelings are like cobwebs in your mind, you want to make room for something new, happy and exiting feelings!

When done, get your favorite essential oil and diffuse it. Now sit in your favorite chair or sofa and just reflect. Enjoy the feeling of well being and know that you created it!

If you have any tips on spring cleaning, share them with us and leave a comment below.

The Power Of Vulnerability

The Power Of Vulnerability

My friend and meditation teacher Claudia, sent me the link to this video. What a beautiful story and so well presented by Brene Brown, I just love it. I also decided to write less and offer you more thought provoking videos to have more fun…………..

Do YOU like the idea?

Researcher and storyteller Brene Brown is telling a story about vulnerability and how it affects the quality of our lives, she has a great sense of humor too……. I hate to say it but most scientists are not so funny……… but more dry………ooops that was a judgement. I would like to use less judgment in my life, which is easier said than done, but I am aware of it, that's the first step. It's all a process 🙂

So what is vulnerability and how do we deal with it?

Most of us do not want to have anything to do with our own vulnerability or other people’s vulnerability, or better said we run the other way when we are confronted with it.……….

But the sad truth is, that the more we are denying our vulnerability the more we deny other qualities, like aliveness, creativity, joy and self-expression.

We all want to belong, to be loved and to be connected to others. We are trained to perform, to hide our feeling, to be strong to pretend we are perfect, to know it all, to never ask for help, sounds familiar?

So what do people do in order to not feel these feelings?

For example: eat, drink alcohol, take drugs, shop, work, rage, try to be perfect, complain, gamble, sex……….of course I'm talking about excessive behavior, yes all this numbs the stuff we don’t want, but also all the good feelings that make life worth living.

So what do we want?

To be loved
To be seen
To be heard
To be enough
To be accepted the way we are
To express our selves

Yes, it's that simple. If you can think of anything else let me know, I will stop now and let you enjoy the video 🙂

Are YOU ready to dive into a great new life? This might be start 🙂

The Law Of Attraction And Vision Boards

The Law Of Attraction And Vision Boards

As a life coach it is important for me to offer tools that work. Vision boards are one of them; they are fun, creative and highly effective. The key is: YOU have to believe that the process works, if YOU doubt it, the process will not work.

I quickly want to tell YOU about my last magical experiences with vision boards: last year I created one with lots of photographs of houses I took in my hometown in Germany. Guess where I live now, in exactly this town, in the center of the city close to everything. It started with a tiny idea to make this move, nothing more…………….. Please trust the magic and make one, do it for YOU.

The law of attraction states that we attract into our lives anything that we give attention to, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. Now this is important: If you constantly think about negative things, guess what! YOU will attract the same energy into your life, YOU will be a crap magnet! It’s a quantum physics law, it states that we attract anything into our lives that we give attention to.
If YOU focus on negative thoughts YOU attract things that are negative, if YOU focus on positive YOU will attract positive events, people and things.

A vision board is a tool, to use to focus on positeve and inspiring images and words. YOU do not have to paint the pictures in YOUR mind, YOU just look at them, it’s the easy way to visualize YOUR life dreams. So start now and create YOUR life YOUR way and achieve YOUR life dreams.

How to make and use a vision board
YOUR personal vision board is limited only to YOUR own creativity and imagination. Some people have produced simple vision boards and others have made vision boards that could sell at art show for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. But let me tell YOU: artistic ability is not a prerequisite for creating a functional vision board. Anybody can do it and anybody will have a blast creating it, it’s so simple and creative, make it playtime

YOUR subconscious mind works in pictures and images, so make YOUR vision board as visual as possible with as many images as you can. Add inspirational and motivational words towards the end, they can be written onto the images, or YOU can type and print the words, cut them out and glue them onto the board.

Each picture on YOUR vision board should evoke a positive emotional response from YOU. The sight of YOUR vision board should make YOU smile and fuel YOUR passion to achieve your dreams every time YOU look at it. Be inspired by the images and feel them!

Place YOUR vision board in a prominent location where YOU have a chance to see it as much as possible. YOU need to constantly expose YOUR subconscious mind to this feel good energy. The more YOU look at your vision board, the more YOU feel it, the faster YOUR dreams will manifest. YOU do not have to know all the steps to get there. YOUR subconscious mind will do it for YOU.

Negative feelings like self-doubt and criticism can damage the delicate energy that YOU generate with YOUR vision board. If YOU notice these feelings YOU must do something to neutralize them.
Practice affirmations, they are very helpful to override negative thoughts and neutralize negative emotions. But it does not mean that YOU do nothing. YOU must listen to your intuition and YOU must go out and meet people.

Now let's get started and create YOUR life YOUR way. The more YOU manifest, the happier YOUR lives are, the better this planet will be. There is no prerequisite for creating a functional vision board and the procedures I’ve outlined below can be used by anyone. Let me know what happens and leave a comment, I love YOU all 🙂

David Lynch On Creativity And Meditation

David Lynch On Creativity And Meditation

Hello again; YOU are here that means YOU are interested in creativity and meditation, I am so happy you have found this 🙂 Getting in touch with creativity and letting go of the thought that being creative means YOU have to create incredible artwork can be life changing.

Just on a side note; if you practice to get in touch in your inner creativity the result might be great artwork. The difference is that you are not trying hard to do it, but YOU let it happen. Wow, it's the possibility of a new life how wonderful this that! Now….. if YOUR intellect tells YOU, ah, this is all bullshit, YOU have a choice to listen to it, or say: thanks for sharing but I would like to try this…………. I hope you enjoy the presentation as much as I do.

Filmmaker David Lynch is talking about the connection between creativity and transcendental meditation and how this simple practice can change YOUR life, if YOU let it!

You will hear how it changed his life, from a very angry man to a man enjoying his life, his creativity and spreading joy instead of egomania….., a quality filmmakers are famous for. This is such an inspiring video recorded life in Boston. I soaked up every word; everything he said rang a bell, ding dong 🙂

Question from audience: How do you think meditation helps the creative process?

Answer DL: Meditation creates more awareness, which is consciousness. Inside of us we have an ocean of consciousness, meditation will expand this ocean. Scientists call this ocean the unified field. Everything arises from this field, creativity, and bliss, universal love, intelligence. Side effects are; that negativity, anger and depression will start to recede.

Depression is a killer for creative people. With meditation you can grow solutions inspiration, innovative ideas and joy in life. Ideas just flow…………………….

Question from audience: What effect does pure consciousness have on our creative work?

Answer DL: Anxiety lifts, wellbeing and peace improves. Bliss is happiness from within

What do YOU think? Well I love it and I am happy to share that I have experienced this myself. Improved awareness and consciousness will let the creative juices flow. It's a right brain process, you just do it, for example meditate and see what the results are, it’s that easy. Just go with the flow…………………………

Sample of simple 3 minute meditation

I found this wonderful easy to do 3 minute meditation for YOU, created by Deepak Chopra, check it out and do it, if YOU like it please let me know and let others know by leaving a comment or and sharing this post. Meditation is not only important for YOUR well being, it's also important for the well being of our world. If we all take care of ourselves we will have a better world!!!!!!!

Simple Tips To Find What You Love To Do Part 1

What do you love to do? What a huge question. So many of us are walking around and do not have a clue. If you don't know what your passion is, life can be pretty uninspired, it actually can be a drag. Life without passion and magic is stale and creates unhappy, resentful people.

That's one reason; gambling, shopping, excessive working; drugs and alcohol are so popular, because these substances create the illusion of bliss and fun. The illusion works for a while, but eventually it stops working and then…….. I know I've been there, I went through the illusion and I crashed. I had to do a lot of soul searching and ask the universe: Who and what do you want me to be? It took quite a while of listening but eventually the puzzle pieces came together. People with passions are more content and happier. This is not only good for us but good for our friends, families and the world. Do you agree?

As children we all instinctively know what we love to do, we get blissfully absorbed in the activity of play. But as we grow up and go to school we learn that other things are more important and we get drilled to fit in. Creativity and individuality get lost. The good news is: we all have this creativity inside of us; it just needs to be uncovered from deep inside of us. We have to find the hidden drawer and finally open it. The content of the drawer will be play, creativity, fun and beautiful life energy and we with it find the possibility to create a beautiful fabulous life.

If you would like to find out, start with these simple things.

Ask yourself the question: What do I love to do?
Simple meditation
Keep a journal and write down whatever comes up
Make a vision board

I know this sounds very simple, but it's effective. Do it every day and be aware of what comes up. Next week I will have some more tips for you, Have fun! Let's be happy and let's change the world to be a better place, by starting with ourselves. Vision boards are great tools to find our creative muse, if you like check some of the videos below. The meditation video is very helpful. One more fantastic book to read is the artist way by Julia Cameron, it's my bible 🙂

More instructions about:" how to make a vision board" watch the videos below

This custom meditation will help you get into the creative zone

This vision board will help you attract your ideal relationship

How to express your creativity

Simple Tips To Make Your Life Fun – Interview With Dave Buck MCC

Simple Tips To Make Your Life Fun – Interview With Dave Buck MCC

I hope YOU are well and life is fabulous and inspiring.

Today, I am so thrilled to introduce you to my teacher and mentor Dave Buck, CEO of Coachville LLC, Master Certified Coach and founding member of the transformational leadership council.

Coach Dave has changed my life with his wisdom and the concept to bring more of the spirit of play into people's lives. That was one missing element in my life. For whatever reason, I turned everything into a chore.

Even when I liked what I was doing, after a while I lost my joy in it and it turned into an energy drain. At 57 years old I decided to change my career from interior design and real estate to coaching, this not only changed my career but also my behavior and my way of thinking.

Most people told me, oh no way YOU are too old to start a new career, but I think YOU are never too old to start a new life. All we want is to be happy, to live a life that’s interesting, stimulating with meaningful, supportive relationships around us, it's never too late for that!

Find out why and how having a coach can change your life.

Coaching is helpful for people who want to get better at something in their life. Athletes have coaches to get better at their game and the same concept applies to personal coaching.

People hire coaches to

Find more joy in life
Be more creative,
Be more successful in business
Have more fulfilling relationships,
Live healthier more balanced lives.

Not only that, it will give you a wonderful support system, someone who believes in YOU.

How does it work for YOU when YOU are left to your own devices? When YOU listen to the interview you will hear what just happened in a coaching session I had last week, a new insight I got that might improve my life even more.

A coach can help YOU see situations in a new light and help YOU find the answers within yourself. Yes it might sound kind of wowoooo, but that’s how it works.

Ok, I will stop now, enjoy the audio and if it inspired you please leave a comment.

Oh, I almost forgot, if you get inspired by our conversation and would like to try a session. Take advantage of my fabulous offer: A 30 minute exploratory coaching session with me. It's my gift to YOU and it might give YOU some ideas on how to bring more fun into your life. Just click the contact tab and let me know.

Blessings

Marita

click the triangle below to listen 🙂

Change Your life – Be Curious

Change your life – Be Curious

I am curious – why are you reading this post? It must have something to do with YOU being curious about how you can change your life with curiosity 🙂

What does curiosity mean?

The word curious can be defined as an exciting attention, inquiry or eager to learn. This term is also used in some circles to mean arousing interest as a result of strangeness or novelty.
Curiosity is one of the most important coaching skills, to be curious about everything, to want to know the root of why things are a certain way, a playful way to ask questions.
In spiritual terms curiosity is a way for the mind to inquire with the spirit of play, instead of controlling the outcome. We are curious and ask questions to the universe, or to our higher self.

Continue reading “Change Your life – Be Curious”

Change Your Life With Gratitude

Change Your Life With Gratitude

Happiness and gratitude vibrate at the same level of energy. Somehow it's hard to know what happiness is, or how to generate it, but most of us know what gratefulness feels like. So let’s keep it simple and just bring more gratitude, or thankfulness into life.

Yes, I know, it's not always easy to be grateful, especially when everything goes wrong, but that's exactly the most important time to be thankful. Make it a daily habit. Add it to your daily schedule together with exercise and meditation. Remember why you do it: you want to attract good things into your life!

I found this wonderful quote in one of my books: It's said to be from the Matthias gospel”

"He who HAS will be rewarded with more, but the one who HAS NOT, will even lose the little he HAS."

What does this mean? It's not exactly fair: unless we add gratitude to "having and not having." If we have gratitude we get more good things, if we don't have it we lose what we have. "The law of attraction," in action.

Continue reading “Change Your Life With Gratitude”