Love Yourself The Way You Are
This is the trick to a fulfilled life. If YOU fully love and accept yourself , YOU will find happiness!
Do YOU believe it? If you don't you're not there yet. But don't worry this can be changed.
I will tell you what happened to me and at the end I posted some practical action steps for YOU 🙂
Somehow I did not like myself very much and it was very painful. I was arrogant, which was a way for me to make up for my missing self love and selfworth.
When I look back, I know now that I did not have much awareness for who I was or how I felt. My main concern was other people, especially my husband and my 2 kids.
The focus was on taking care of them and trying to control everything around me. That's what I learned when I grew up, to control, to be perfect and so forth. "To be a human doing not a human being". Boring story, I'm tired of it.
In short I could not stand myself. Eventually something happend, "I woke up" and when people told me that I have to love and accept myself for who I am, I finally listened……….I was 50 years old and my life was a mess.
With the help of a wonderful therapist and a great support system of coaches, 12 step groups, meditation groups and so on, I started to do things that were nourishing my soul and made me feel good.
I always thought getting pampered was frivolous. Playing was a waste of time, getting a massage was torture…….. but I changed my mind.
Going to Alanon and spending time in meditation groups helped a lot. Hearing other people's stories and knowing that I was not alone, was a god sent.
One of my best friends was a masseuse and I started taking massages, I took some time off here and there and went to the hot springs. I took long walks on the beach……. , everything started to get better and I started to like being with myself.
The biggest breakthrough moment was to be authentic, to say what I mean and to mean what I say. To fully express myself did not happen over night, it took time. Step by step I started to change and my life changed with it.
How Can You Practice To Love Yourself The Way You Are?
- Letting go
Affirmations are simple, short, powerful,positive statements. When you say them or "think them", they become the thoughts that create your reality. Affirmations are your conscious thoughts. They have to be in the present, they have to be simple: For example:
- My life is getting better better and better all the time
- I feel great
- I have everything I need
- I am in perfect health
- I trust the universe that I have everything I need
- I live in abundance
- I am a magnet for good things
Mindfulnessis a practice of being aware of what you do and how you think. the more you do it the better it gets. Meditation is a simple practice that will help You to practice mindfulness.Meditation will help to connect YOu to your center by focusing your awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
Below is a simple mindfulness meditation from Jack Kornfield
Let Your Mind Settle Like A Clear Forest Pool
To begin meditation, select a quiet time and place. Be seated on a cushion or chair, taking an erect yet relaxed posture. Let yourself sit upright with the quiet dignity of a king or queen. Close your eyes gently and bring a full, present attention to whatever you feel within you and around you. Let your mind be spacious and your heart be kind and soft.
As you sit, feel the sensations of your body. Then notice what sounds and feelings, thoughts and expectations are present. Allow them all to come and go, to rise and fall like the waves of the ocean. Be aware of the waves and rest seated in the midst of them. Allow yourself to become more and more still.
In the center of all these waves, feel your breathing, your life-breath. Let your attention feel the in-and-out breathing wherever you notice it, as coolness or tingling in the nose or throat, as a rising and falling of your chest or abdomen. Relax and softly rest your attention on each breath, feeling the movement in a steady, easy way. Let the breath breathe itself in any rhythm, long or short, soft or deep. As you feel each breath, concentrate and settle into its movement. Let all other sounds and sensations, thoughts and feelings continue to come and go like waves in the back ground.
After a few breaths, your attention may be carried away by one of the waves of thoughts or memories, by body sensations or sounds. Whenever you notice you have been carried away for a time, acknowledge the wave that has done so by softly giving it a name such as “planning,” “remembering,” “itching,” “restless.” Then let it pass and gently return to the breath. Some waves will take a long time to pass, others will be short. Certain thoughts or feelings will be painful, others will be pleasurable. Whatever they are, let them be.
This is another simple powerful practice. I know that it's hard for people, because they don't know how to let go or of what they should let go of. So I would say. Let go of whatever hurts you. It hurts to be resentful, it hurts to be critical, it hurts to be stuck in old painful memories, it hurts to want the past to be different. Letting go is not something that you can force, but you can start with willingness and I tell you with time it will let go of YOU. Check out the Sedona Method, it's a great tool to help with letting go.
I hope this will help YOU to love and accept yourself more and more and more 🙂
If you have some tips to share, or anything else please leave a comment.
Love Yourself The Way YOU Are 🙂