How We Can Accept Getting Old
Can you do it or can't you do it? This is a very personal subject for most women and there are many different ideas about aging. Some people like the approach of denial and postponing the visual effects of aging with facelifts, all kinds of surgeries and treatment, which is totally fine.
But eventually there is no escape and as my every day practice in life is acceptance, I thought for myself it would be a good idea to come to terms with some of the effects of aging, like gray hair, white patches, dark spots and I hate to say it: sagging skin 🙂
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns
At 48 I started dying my hair to cover the gray. That was 10 years ago, a long time of applying toxic dye to my head. Last Year I let my hair turn gray. Every time I got it cut, more gray showed and after my last cut today, I am proud to say that my hair is all gray.
The other part to accept was: last summer I discovered white patches on my throat and my face, oh no I thought, now I got this too. The patches of white graced my grandfather and my mother's skin. For a while I was in denial and hoped it would disappear and I would be spared, but I wasn't.
It's called vitiligo and there is no cure, it's a skin disease, that prevents parts of the skin from building pigments. Well, I thought to myself, I can start screaming, resisting and getting upset about it. But it was not an option because I knew it would not help.
So I decided to let go of the way I thought I should look like and move towards accepting the facts that I could not change. I started looking for solutions instead of focussing on the problem. I knew I had to stay out of the sun and apply sun lotion, to keep my skin as light as possible.
The motto is to love and accept myself just the way I am, its a practice. It also helps to have routines to stay in good shape, be healthy and keep the mind sane. To live a balanced life brings happiness!
Here are some tips that will help you achieve this.
- Walk in fresh air
- Healthy diet, lot's of vegetable and fruits
- Have fun
- Get together with other women who go through the same,
- Attend women's comedy shows, where you can laugh about these facts.
Color is helpful, to look younger and wear some fun jewelry. It also is helpful to add a little more make up. Colored scarves or bands are fun to wear and give more life to gray hair. Just get inspired and be creative with outfits and color.
Sometimes it's ok to allow yourself cake, chocolate, french fries, or whatever it is you crave. The little child inside of us needs a little treat, a hug and lot's of love in order to cooperate when we need to be diciplined. Our western culture is crazy, the model of beauty is hard to preserve, so no wonder it's hard to be different and not fit into the beauty model anymore. I can't even imagine what it's like to be single and trying to find a partner.
I knew a woman in California who was beautiful but on the heavy side, she told us that she could not find a partner. She would travel to Italy, because Italian men like women who look like women, with curves, not skinny creatures. This is interesting isn't it, do you remember the days when women in Africa were worth their weight in gold?
Here's a little story to finish up: When I complained to one of my friends about the white patches, she said: But Marita, I think it's beautiful, blemishes are beautiful, it's what sets us apart from others. What a beautiful unexpected response, I never thought about blemishes this way. It was great to hear. So please, make sure that you balance your life, take care of your needs and be happy with who YOU are.
I noticed that ost of my readers are women over 40, so I would love to hear how YOU accept, or not accept the signs of aging. Please leave a comment at the end.