Learn To Play With Fear
I love to write about fear, it's a fascinating subject. Fear keeps us safe and fear keeps us stuck, but on the other side of fear is success. The levels of fear we experience are different for everybody. Some people get panicked by little things and for others it takes a lot more to scare them. Fear is our survival mechanism left over from a long, long time ago, when we had to fight bears and other beasts. Fear is also pure ENERGY
Definitions Of Fear:
Fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. It is worth noting that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening. All people have an instinctual response to potential danger, which is in fact important to the survival of all species. The reactions elicited from fear are seen through advantages in. Fear can be a manipulating and controlling factor in an individual's life.
Deep within each of us are two strong forces
- The will to survive
- The desire to shine and contribute to others
Most of the time these two forces are in conflict with each other. On one hand we have the desire to go out into the world and do big things, but on the other hand the will to survive drives us to avoid taking the risks involved to succeed. We rather play small and safe.
For business people it's sometimes very hard to do the required networking, to enroll people to try their services and products. This is not good because you can only make money if you sell what you have to offer and people need to know about it.
Do you have to make this sales call and your hands get sweaty, your throat gets tight, your abdomen is in a knot?
Ahh now we get to what fear actually feels like. Are you aware of the feeling? Do you know that if you actually feel your fear with awareness and watch the emotions that come up around it, the fear will loosen it's grip on you?
You can actually just let the fear be there and do what you need to do anyway. Just watch it and the more you make friends with it, the easier it will be to do the required action.
The most important fact is that you are passionate about what you do and that you are totally inspired. The more inspiring it is, the more passion you will have to overcome the fear.
FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real.
Are you willing to try and feel the fear?
How to do it:
When you notice that you are avoiding an action, because it makes you feel uncomfortable, stop and replay the moment, make it feel big, notice it.
Let's say you have to make a sales call, or go to a networking event. You know you have to do it , but you won't. Make sure you are in a safe place, now close your eyes and focus on the feeling you have when avoiding the action.
Can you describe the scene ? Where are you? What is happening?
- Where do you feel it in your body?
- Does it have a shape?
- Does it have a color?
- Does it have a temperature?
As soon as you feel the feeeling of dread, stay with it for 30 seconds, make it as big as possible. If you can please stay with it for another 30 seconds.
- Do you have emotions come up?
- What are they?
- Do you have any memories come up, where you remember having had the same feeling a long time ago?
Most of the time something happened in childhood, that created the energy pattern of fear. We probably were less than 10 years old. It was totally normal to be scared then but now, decades later we have a choice to be run by fears that were created when we were very young, or to make a choice to act anyway. It's empowering to play with fear and do it anyway.
What are you afraid of? Would you like to lose your fear? Coaching is a great way to overcome your fears.
This method is a short version of the Inner Freedom Method developed by CoachVille