Let Go Of Trying To Be Perfect, It's Boring
What kind of a reaction do you have when you read this?
- What a stupid thing to say
- I don't understand what she is saying
- I like to be perfect
- Hmm, never thought about it
Perfection is a strange thing, in some ways it might be good, but for most people it actually is a hindrance to get into action. Let's say you know you need to get something done and it is important, but you procrastinate and procrastinate…………..
If someone asks you why you have not done it, you say
- I want to get it right
- there is something missing
- It's not the right time
- I have to learn this and that first
And on it goes listening to the voice in our heads, that keeps us from taking action or completing things.
BECAUSE………..IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
I remember when I started learning about social media: one task was to set up Twitter and send out a tweet. I was in pure terror thinking that everybody out there in Twitter cyberspace would just wait for my 140 character tweet and scream: Look at Marita, it's so stupid what she is saying.
That was 5 Years ago, I am happy to report that I am not afraid to put myself out there anymore. Now I write articles, post on all social media, create silly videos and publish them on youtube. Nothing is perfect, but people have fun with it. I learened to overcome my perfection and life is a lot more fun and adventurous.
When was the last time you had fun with something "perfect"? Ok, professionals have to strive to do a perfect job, but I'm talking about a different kind of perfectionism. If you are a mechanic, a surgeon, a pilot or a book keeper, it's good to not make mistakes :–)
But in other areas it's good to lighten up and have fun, be creative, be playfull and enjoy the process.
There is a type of perfectionism that's listed as a mental disorder, psychiatrists call it maladaptive perfectionists. These people need to be the best at everything, and if they make a mistake, it’s a crisis. It’s also not just about how they perceive themselves, but about how others perceive them: they believe they will lose the respect of friends and colleagues if they fail. They have to hit all their marks all the time. Their need for perfectionism can sabotage their own success. What a sad life!
Below a quote by Anne Lamott about perfectionism.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
Anne Lamott
What do you think about about perfectionism?
Om my goodness, what an awesome post Marita. I’m a perfectionist and I hate it. I used to be so scared to blog in case I made a grammar mistake or someone disagreed with my opinion. The result was that 0 posts got published. The longer I’ve been in business, the more I’ve loosened up and learned to just go with the flow. So what if it’s not perfect? I’d way rather get up every morning and have fun. I can tell you, it makes for a lot happier living and a much healthier business. Great post, thanks for sharing- more people need to read this! 🙂
I think perfection has a different definition to different people. Some find perfection as a reflection of what others think about them. Some find it as a personal mission to be successful. I think they are both motivators, but you are right to say that sometimes we need an outlet, to let loose and enjoy ourselves.
I think it’s often our imperfections that make us unique and likable 😉 Great post!
Funny thing is that when I read the picture at the top of your post I knew exactly what you meant. My first thought was that I was going to love this post and I did. I tried the perfect 'thing' and it didn't work for me. Being me always works. 🙂
You’re right it is a weird thing to say (stop trying to be perfect) but once you read why and how it delays action it makes sense. Great post!
Perfectionism is overrated! Agree… boring!! LOL! great job!
Perfectionism is a big bully! It truly is our vulnerability and imperfections that make us beautifully human. I love Anne Lammott, thank you for sharing her quote.
Marita — so much time and energy is wasted on perfectionism — because people in general don’t expect perfect. I know I struggle with this, but I think there’s value in achieving a balance between progress and doing a great job.
The only thing I want to be perfect is my skin. My pores are HUGE! lol
Until we live in a perfect world, how can anything or anyone be perfect? It seems that perfection is largely a state of mind.
I’ve been guilty of not doing something because I don’t think I know enough or I might make a mistake. We are all our worst critic and unfortunately it can paralyze us. Here’s to moving forward and just doing it!
Today was a perfect example of me not being perefect. The great thing is I just sat back and accepted it.
Perfectionism stinks!! It holds so many people back. When I'm feeling the pressure to make things right….I step back and shoot for an 80% solution. That gives me 20% to really mess up!
every time I put up an audio or video people compliment me on my voice. every time. And yet I sit there counting the "um"'s and thinking about how loud my voice is. I'm not such a perfectionist since I've got such complicated children, but it's something I'm working on at any rate.
Great post! Perfectionism which leads to something remarkable is good. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?
I'm a perfectionist. It's a constant battle and one reason why I don't get things done. Before I moved to the country, I couldn't even clean my house because I couldn't make it clean enough! But now that I have 2 dogs running through fields and usually have remnances of chicken poop on my shoes, I've given up some of that….thankfully.
I think perfectionism is fine in some cases because it reminds us to be at our best all the time. However, if perfectionism hinders our growth making procrastination more prevalent, then in that case, sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity right?
I couldn't agree more Marita. Perfection is something few if any of us ever achieve. Instead it's better just to aim at small improvements day by day. You need to stretch yourself, but you don't want to paralyse yourself with inaction due to fear about not being perfect.
Perfection. It kills my creative writing process!
I've also struggled with perfectionism, and it's relation, procrastination, my whole life. Rather than fear of dieing, though, if I'm honest I'd say it's more about a fear of rejection and being alone. What if I insult someone? Or what if they think I'm stupid? Those are the obsessive thoughts running through my head! And you're right that it's sabotaged my own success. But I work everyday at accepting imperfection in all kinds of little things, and it's made a huge difference in allowing me to let go of it.
So, so true! There is never a perfect time to do anything. We just need to do it! We also need to recognize that nothing we do will be perfect — but “done” is better any time. Good post.
Awesome post Marita! Perfection often leads to procrastination, which leads to not getting too much done. I'd rather get a lot done, but that's just me. 🙂 – T 🙂
I could talk all day long about the topic of perfectionism due to my background and Masters in gifted education. Gifted ‘people’ often struggle with perfectionism which can lead to fear of failure. But to sum it up, I think the key is this – learning strategies and skills to deal with perfectionism tendencies. A true perfectionist will never let go of the need or desire for their ‘stuff’ to be perfect. But what they can do is learn how to deal with that need or desire in a healthy way. This is one of the things a good gifted ed. program should be doing EARLY in education with students.