play to win Archives - MaritaSteffe.com

Perfectionism Kills Dreams

Hello again…I'm so excited to share this post with you….I turned 60 this year and the older I get the less I'm interested in being perfect, the more I want to be playful and experimental. Why?…Because life is a lot more fun 🙂

Lately I've noticed again and again…. that so many people have very little joy in life and noticed that the common denominator is perfectionism: Focusing on chores, what we need to do, you know the annoying stuff like homework, shopping, cleaning, working, we beat ourselves up when we do something wrong, but rarely do we celebrate when we do something right 🙂

Even as adults…. it's still like this: Do your homework and then you can play. The weird thing is… now you say this to yourself, no teacher or parent required. Have you noticed this? Take a moment and ask yourself this question….are you one of them? do you do this? Just this little “awareness” can change your life.

Change your attitude, change your life.

So… how can you actually change your attitude?

Be aware of your thoughts
Be willing to experiment
Accept that new behavior feels uncomfortable.

Be aware of your thoughts

What are you actually thinking? Interesting question isn’t it. For a few minutes several times during the day…. watch your thoughts. Like an outsider, observer, be aware of what you think. Yes it’s simple but then it’s not….. try it and see what happens. Actually… why not write it down….take a journal and write down whatever pops into your mind. Do I hear you say: this is stupid??? maybe but it’s very interesting to know what’s going on in your mind, actually my mind too 🙂

For example it could look like this: I have to do the dishes, I really don’t like what so and so said yesterday, I am tired of doing this, why should I write down my thoughts, oh I forgot to buy toilet paper, this person doesn’t like me, I don’t want to do this, the potato soup was not good, it’s raining again, I don't know what to do…… It’s a mindfulness meditation to be aware of your thoughts.

This simple action step can change your life, if you chose to do it. Mindfulness Meditation is a great tool to help be more aware of your thoughts and feel yourself…. but it’s a process and won’t happen overnight.

Be willing to experiment.

I have to be perfect
I have to do this right
I will not do this because I have to do it perfectly

Oh man….. perfectionism is a killer, it kills creativity, aliveness, joy, It can make people sick and invites them to give up. Experimenting and being playful is the opposite of perfectionism. What you need is the willingness to play, to make mistakes and yes, you MUST be willing to fail. Kids have this kind of presence and willingness, they always experiment and play until …….they grow up.

I'm sure you heard the stories of famous people for example: Steven Spielberg was rejected from schools several times, Albert Einstein had a learning disorder, Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything, Henry Ford failed at several businesses. There are many others who failed many times, some over years but they did not give up, they kept experimenting until eventually…. they succeeded.

By changing one simple thing, YOUR ATTITUDE, you can change your life. Try it out, set little experiments for yourself and just play and enjoy whatever you are doing.

Don’t try to do it right,
Don’t be serious
Don’t be attached to the outcome…..just play.

Now be aware of how it feels. Does it feel any different, are you experiencing more joy, is it more fun to do things… even if some things are not exactly fun? Watch yourself, write it down and keep experimenting and noticing. Get to know yourself, be your best friend.

Accept that new behaviour is uncomfortable

This is a tough one, but it's an important part of the new game…..why should I be doing something that is uncomfortable? We are creatures of habit, even if the habits are not good for us. Smoking for example can calm you down, but most people know that it can kill you.

To be a perfectionist feels comfortable… to experiment might not, even if it’s a lot healthier for you. Working too much is a habit and working less will feel very uncomfortable. Putting yourself down feels comfortable, celebrating what you do right might feel uncomfortable. Taking time off and just playing will feel uncomfortable but is actually a good thing…..and on it goes.

When you start doing new things it will feel weird and you have to know that this is normal and not be discouraged by it. This is why people abandon their dreams, it’s that important!!!! Write it on a poster or set a reminder on your phone, tatoo it on your hand, whatever will help you remember, just do it! I am doing new things and I am willing to play. I invite you to play to win 🙂

Leave a comment and let me know how it works for you. do you have any tricks you would like to share?

Creating a Vision Board For Your Business

Creating a vision board for your business is a fun, creative and effective way to become clear about your intentions and it will help you discover, focus on and manifest your dreams.

It‘s way more fun than making a boring list and you can turn it into creative play. Playtime is always good isn't it?

Now let’s get started with a few questions!

("Play to Win" is one of my favorite coaching methods, it helps to change the attitude from having to work on something to a more enjoyful way of talking about things: "Play language" is an important part of it: business game stands for business goals, play your game for: work on your business, play to win for: achieve your goals.)

What’s your bigger purpose?

In order to win your game in business, as well as in life, it's good to know why you want to play. Life is a lot better when you can enjoy business related tasks, don’t you think so? Instead of saying: I have to do this social media posting and I hate it; you can practice saying: I will make some experiments with social media and see what happens…. If you find out that you still can’t enjoy it, you might want to hire someone who will do it for you. A positive attitude will help you win your game and have more fun.

What’s your bigger purpose?
What’s your desired outcome?
What actionsteps need to happen in order to get the desired results?

Sorry, I got a little sidetracked here, but now let’s come back to your purpose: why are you involved in this business?

What inspires you?
Who do you want to help,
Why do you want to do it?
How does it make you feel?

To be successful in business requires commitment and to be clear about your purpose will give you the energy to be inspired and motivated to play the game well and be persistant even through challenges.

Inspiration will be the fuel to propel you forward, so the more you can generate, the better it will be. It’s time well spent to be clear about your purpose.

When you have your purpose and it’s right for you, you will feel it in your body. That’s spirit letting you know:t you are on the right track 🙂

Examples for outcome could be:

Financial freedom
10 new clients
A certain certification
$100000 the first year in sales
Many satisfied, happy clients

Just replace this with whatever it is that YOU want to achieve.

Now you need to know what action steps you need to do in order to achieve the results that will get you to the desired outcome.

Talk to people
Make proposals
Hire help
Complete certain projects (website, biz cards etc.)

Now you need to find images representing these items, be creative with it, let it flow.

Materials

Images, representing your purpose, clients, outcomes, activities and more
Posterboard

Gluestick
Scissors
Large marker

Browse through the magazines and rip out the images that appeal to you. This is not a logical process it's more intuitive, go by what feels juicy, it's a subconscious process.

You will find the images in magazines (Money, Oprah, Vogue, National Geographic), books, calendars, online, or use your own images and print them out.

Look for images of people representing your ideal customers. If you want to write a book you can create a cover with a simple image editing software like "pic monkey", or go to fiverr and get something made for $5. Make up your own checks written to you from companies you would like to receive checks from, make them large numbers. Find images of your ideal office space, in the location you would like to be, the view you would like to see…..

On my business vision board I normally paste a picture of myself in the center of the poster board, looking happy and successful, doing my favorite business task.

Once you have the images, lay them out on the posterboard until you like the look of it and start to glue them down.

When all this is done, you can finish up with inspiring and motivating words. You can write them onto the board or you can type the text and print it out.

I make a great living doing what I love to do.
I love my work and get paid royally for doing it.
I am happy and fulfilled with my work.
I inspire and motivate others

When it's all done, hang it where you can look at it; in your office, above the desk would be the perfect place. In addition it's a good idea to take a photo of it, print and laminate a small version so you can have it in your purse. The more you look at it, the more you feel it, the more effective it will be. Remember: it's all energy and we attract the same energy into our lives that we send out.

Now I'm inspired and want to make my next one……….I hope you feel the same way, now have fun with it and good luck and play to win!!

Send me a picture of your vision board and let me know how it's going, if you have any questions, just ask me….. and if you are interested in business coaching let me know and we can set up a time for you to try a session, how much fun is that!!!