Tag: get a coach

Fear of Success?

fear of success

 

Fear of Success?

You want success, but then something inside of you does not want success… .Fear of success comes up when you try something new and most of the time, this fear prevents you from doing the things you love to do. Have you noticed this conflict inside of you?

Scenario: This is what it looks like in my life:  I am gung- ho to move ahead with something, a new project, something kind of scary. For example, I am planning to go to a new networking event, meet new people, create a new event, call someone important, ask for help…

What I sense in my body:

 

  • A weird feeling of unease in my belly, or solar plexus.
  • A "voice" inside of my head saying: oh you don´t really want to do this, it´s too scary, what if it goes wrong, it takes too much energy, people will not like it, you are too old, you don´t really want this anyway.

 

And on it goes…The strange thing is, this might be the very thing you want in life: to be successful with something you love to do, but the "voice" does not want to help you do it. The "voice" wants to keep you safe.

All this is happening automatically and it´s not logical. The "voice" is the old part of the brain, which wants to protect you from getting eaten by bears and dinosaurs. This is the the reptilian, or nimbic part of the brain. It does not know that most of us, especially in the western world, do not have to fight with bears and dinosaurs any more 🙂

Trying to do a new thing means: reptilian brain is on high alert… there might be a bear out there. Yeah it sounds pretty funny, but actually this "voice" is very successful at talking us out of trying anything new, with the result:

  • Nothing happens,
  • No dreams get realized,
  • No goals get achieved, just the same old, safe, unfulfilling life.

 

What can you do? You can face the fear…and you can try these 4 simple tips to help you act in spite the fear of success.

  • Awareness is the first step. Just by being aware of your voice and the feelings in your body, you can feel the fear and chose to act anyway. It will not feel good the first time, but the more you do it the easier it will be.

Simple example: When I started with social media and online marketing 2009, I wanted to post a tweet on Twitter. I was scared to death, somehow I thought everybody on Twitter will look at this and think, oh what a stupid thing to say….But eventually I overcame the fear and posted the tweet….now it´s routine. I had the same fear with writing articles, creating and posting videos, doing interviews, approaching new people.

To be honest, anything outside of the routine is still difficult, but now I have ways to help me over the resistance.

 

  • After being aware, it´s helpful to visualize what you want and create little reminders of your dreams and goals. For example a visionboard is a great tool to remind you of what you really want in life, it´s also fun to create one. I will post some videos about: How to create a visionboard, at the end of the post.
  • Create a mastermind group: 3 to 5 people in your inner circle who know about your dreams and goals and will remind you. Make sure they are people who want to help you to succeed and believe in you. It´s a good idea to talk to them about your resistance and fear of success, so they are fully aware of it and can help you through. There is no easy way… the fact is there is fear and it does not feel good, but the only way out is through.
  • Create a list of affirmations and simple sentences that will remind you of what you want to achieve, write them on little cards, set reminders on your phone, on the wall, on the bathroom mirror, in your purse. It sounds a little simple minded, but these simple affirmations help.

 

If you need more help, get a coach!  Someone who will help you through the walls of resistance. Someone who recognizes  your full potential and knows how to help you realize it.

And last not least, just have fun with the process, enjoy it! Enjoy even the difficult parts! Yes you can!!!

Please leave a comment if you would like to share your ideas, if you like this post, or even if you don´t like this post.

                                             Written with love

                                                                  Marita

How To Make A Vision Board – To Attract The Perfect Relationship

 

Easy Vision Board Meditation

Click here for more articles about visionboards

Simple Strategy to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

Simple Strategies to Stick to New Years Resolutions

I hope you are in good spirits and excited about 2016. I sure am because… good things are coming. But now I have a thought or two about the famous New Year Resolutions.

Here we are again…it´s a few weeks into the New Year, the gym is packed, my favorite class is overcrowded… what happened? This phenomena happens every year, people create resolutions just to drop them 4 weeks later? It must be some kind of insanity as Albert Einstein stated in his quote 🙂

Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I don´t do this… but I´m aware of it. I think it´s kind of a herd thing….As soon as the end or the beginning of the year comes around and everybody creates New Year resolutions… I have to do it too.

Yeah it feels good….we have the best intentions until we decide otherwise and they are put on ice again until next year and then the same game starts again. Can you relate?

So what’s the problem?

New Year Resolutions normally reflect short-term thinking, or a quick fix, instead of having a long term plan, that’s why only a small percentage of those who make resolutions achieve their desired goals….Now that’s not a good success rate.

So is there a reason people don’t stick to their resolutions? Professionals’ answers are mixed. Some believe that many don´t have a strategy or someone to keep them accountable and support them to achieve these “goals“. But there is a way to empower yourself and stick to your new years resolutions.

Below are some strategies that will help you keep your resolutions Steven Covey, the author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People “ once said, “Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking.” This is how I feel about resolutions: As the CEO of a strategic marketing firm, my New Year’s Resolution is not to have one. As an individual, could I say that I plan to improve myself in 2016? I certainly strive for that on an on-going basis, but not that the start of each year. That too is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be clear with your goals:

If you want to be healthier what does that mean for you? Exercise, eat healthier foods? Meditate, work less? Let’s just ake the example of healthier foods.

  • What’s on the list of foods that’s not good for you?
  • Are you willing to find a healthier replacement?
  • Are you willing to change some habits?

The key is to make it work for YOU…when you make a shopping list please…. write down things that you like to eat, don’t write down spinach and whole grain noodles if you hate them. Make it a habit to write a grocery list, with healthy foods, that you like. If you have only chips, soft drinks and junk food at home it’s impossible to eat healthier.

Would you like to move more? Think about exercise that you would like to do, there must be something. Sometimes it’s easier to go for walks, go on a bike ride be in nature, or take fun classes, than to work on machines. Although I like the machines because I listen to interesting audios at the some time.

Keep track

  • What did you eat today?
  • What kind of exercise did you do?
  • What did you do that is good for you?

Try to do 3 things every day towards your goal, even small things. Write down how you exercised, or what you ate….. if we keep track of something it’s easier to manage. Just simply tracking how much you are….or aren’t…doing, will push you in the right direction. If you didn’t do well…please just forgive yourself and try again….make it an experiment, there is no fail there is only: I try again!!!

Be accountable to someone

This will motivate and inspire you, just tell someone you trust about your endeavour, work out with a trainer, take a class, do something with a friend or get a coach. Start a little accountability group where everybody can work on their own resolution, but you still watch out for each other’s goals. All this takes you out of your “alone zone” and it will be more motivating if you are not left to your own devices.

If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow. Voltaire.

Do it one step at a time and forgive yourself if you think you didn’t do it right. Try again and again and again and again until eventually you will establish a new habit. New habits get easier, because after doing something for a while new neural pathways get established in the brain.

Lots of luck to YOU and I hope this article will help you a little bit, but no matter what…don’t give up. To finish this up, please remember to celebrate your successes whenever you made a little step towards your goal celebrate…Take yourself on a date, get your nails done, buy some chocolate, go to a nice café and have a cup of tea or coffee. Go to the spa, do something nice for you. Will ya 🙂

Talk to you next time 🙂