Why Acceptance Is So Important

Why Acceptance Is So Important



Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.   Paul Tournier


I  love acceptance, it's one of the most important steps I can take in order to heal my life. It has not always been that way, there were times when I did not want to accept anything that was not to my liking. Life was painful then, to say the least.

Not wanting to accept things is like fighting reality. Fighting reality is painful. Acceptance is a huge part in 12 step programs. The serenity prayer says it all: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

A little exerpt from AA's big book about acceptance

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing….some fact of my life unacceptable to me.
And I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in my attitudes.

For me the courage to change means that I should not try and change other people, but that I should focus on changing myself. What a concept! Acceptance is empowering and practicing it will heal yourself and your life. If you don't know how to do it right now you can learn it, or better said practice it. I had to learn the hard way. Nothing in my life was working and I did not want to accept the fact that I was powerless over my circumstances and all the crazy people in my life.

I wanted to control it all, but eventually, I just could not do it anymore. I let go and accepted that I cannot control the things around me. I could only control my thinking, my actions and that's about it.
I was free, I was free of trying to control everything. The moment I understood, I felt as if a heavy load was lifted off my shoulders. As soon as I started to accept things for what they are, I would feel better. If this is a new concept for you, it's worth while to try it.


8 thoughts on “Why Acceptance Is So Important”

  1. Unfortunately I cannot agree given there is so much injustice that should not be accepted nor forgiven. When people die, I cannot forgive the politicians who started the war nor accept that they  get to walk around free and still in power, when so many lie rotting in graves who might be otherwise alive today.

      1. Acceptance means looking at what is already there. IT had nothing to do without approving injustice. IT is stopping to fight what already occured. You misunderstood.

  2. I have been diagnosed with MS for 9 years.  I've been told I haven't accepted it… because I choose to believe in hope, Bc I don't believe in fighting a disease or anything really.  Bc I'm not mainstream.  I feel like I've accepted it.  I understand exactly what this looks like.  I've worked with many patients with MS over my 17 year medical history.  I'm even a volunteer with the MS society.  

    If accepting it means losing hope and feeling suicidal and giving up hope… I don't want acceptance.

    why do I only hear about this with people with autoimmune diseases, but not cancer? I realize I might be looking at it wrong.  That's why I'm asking for help here.

    1. Hello Katy,

      Thank you for your comment. I totally get it what you are saying. Acceptance for me does not mean to give up. Many people understand something different when they hear the word acceptance. Wikipedia: the action of consenting to receive or undertake something.

      I have an intensive background in 12 step and other spiritual programs, that have completely changed how I understand things, but it does not mean that whatever I say is the truth, it makes me feel good to see it that way.

      Acceptance for me means that I accept reality of a fact: for example: I am depressed, I have cancer, I have MS, I have ALS. I accept that this is a reality, but I would surrender the outcome to a higher power, which could be god, but I still educate myself and do whatever I can to live healthy and improve my health situation. I just would not fight it or resist it, because that would even be more pain.

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  3. Acceptance doesn’t mean Resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it. -Michael J. Fox

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